I have lived here now for more than 4 years but some things never cease to surprise me.
One of these things is the habit of making people's private lives a part of daily living.
I think in Holland we do that too, especially with people like Maxima, when she is pregnant or does anything really, all papers and magazines are full of it. However, I don't think if a sport icon or a politician would have a baby it would make the news. It would maybe get a little mention in a magazine like tv program but that is about the most of it.
It is a good thing though for me because I am a very curious person at heart and love to get a peek into other peoples lives, that is probably why I enjoy reading some of the blogs I read so much :)
Anyway... I enjoyed all these stories about babies born and I thought the entire lib dem thing was brilliant, one guy alcoholic, next one gay, next one affair with a rent boy, oh joy!
But then this afternoon on the lunchtime news there was a HUGE item about Freddy Flintoff - he is a famous cricketer (as all proper Brits know) and he has decided to stay in India to play cricket and not fly home to be with his wife for the birth of their second baby.
It was magnificent to see what an emotion that invoked, every program and news item was littered with it, street interviews 'do you think he should be with his wife' and masses of 'scientific experts' and 'experience experts' on 'is this a good decision or not'.
Apart from me not caring what decision the poor guy makes since he can't win this no matter what he would have done, I keep wondering WHY does everybody seem to think they are allowed an opinion about a decision that has to belong solely to the people involved?
Food for thought though.. imagine being Flintoffs partner and say 'I need you here darling' and them losing the match, brrr... I would also say to my partner 'of course dear, follow your passion, I will push this baby out without you, no problem!
:-)
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Spring is here!
Definitely!
Isn't it weird how one suddenly get this urge to start cleaning? John reckons it is hormonal and who knows, it has something really therapeutic to get rid of the winter clothes and see what is still worth saving to next year and what to chuck out (more each year it seems!)
So.. I cleaned the top of a cupboard, chucked my clothes away, wanted to organise some drawers, got distracted (by the one thing leads to another thing), sun went in and urge went with it.
Reminded me of a tile my aunt had on her kitchen wall saying 'If I get the urge to clean I quickly sit down and wait till it is gone again' :-0)
Isn't it weird how one suddenly get this urge to start cleaning? John reckons it is hormonal and who knows, it has something really therapeutic to get rid of the winter clothes and see what is still worth saving to next year and what to chuck out (more each year it seems!)
So.. I cleaned the top of a cupboard, chucked my clothes away, wanted to organise some drawers, got distracted (by the one thing leads to another thing), sun went in and urge went with it.
Reminded me of a tile my aunt had on her kitchen wall saying 'If I get the urge to clean I quickly sit down and wait till it is gone again' :-0)
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Hypochondria rules!
Well... today, as always on a Saturday, was a very uneventful day.
Don't get me wrong, I *like* uneventful days, very relaxing.
As per normal we went for shopping (oh... and b.t.w. there is this song we have now heard twice on radio 2, last week on 'Chris Evans' and this morning on 'Jonathan Ross' but I can't work out which one it is. It goes something like 'dum dum dum dum dum, it's easy to get girls' but that is about all we can remember except for the addictive tune, PLEASE let us know if you know what it is ;-)) and after shopping to Johns mum for lunch.
Had an absolutely lovely pie with corned beef and probably all sorts of hidden healthy bits since she is afraid we don't get enough nurturing I think. Again, very uneventful.
Slumped on the couch reading part 3 of the earth children 'The Mammoth hunters', brilliant again...
So .. just now... I went to the toilet to have a pee... and my wee smelled SOOOOOO strange. Like not a BIT strange, but a lot strange, like a chemical reaction had taken place in my body without warning and the waste leaked out.
Since John kept on commenting today how tired I looked I immediately went to the mirror to look for any other signs of rapid deterioration but couldn't see anything.
It was one of those moments I am glad I have the relationship with John that I have in sofar as I can say 'my wee smelt funny' and he says 'yeah mine too, mum must have put asparagus in the pie'.
PHEW!!!
I am NOT dying! Hooray. Had a nice titter together over my line of thinking, subject closed.
Time to have something to eat to get over the shock ;-)
Don't get me wrong, I *like* uneventful days, very relaxing.
As per normal we went for shopping (oh... and b.t.w. there is this song we have now heard twice on radio 2, last week on 'Chris Evans' and this morning on 'Jonathan Ross' but I can't work out which one it is. It goes something like 'dum dum dum dum dum, it's easy to get girls' but that is about all we can remember except for the addictive tune, PLEASE let us know if you know what it is ;-)) and after shopping to Johns mum for lunch.
Had an absolutely lovely pie with corned beef and probably all sorts of hidden healthy bits since she is afraid we don't get enough nurturing I think. Again, very uneventful.
Slumped on the couch reading part 3 of the earth children 'The Mammoth hunters', brilliant again...
So .. just now... I went to the toilet to have a pee... and my wee smelled SOOOOOO strange. Like not a BIT strange, but a lot strange, like a chemical reaction had taken place in my body without warning and the waste leaked out.
Since John kept on commenting today how tired I looked I immediately went to the mirror to look for any other signs of rapid deterioration but couldn't see anything.
It was one of those moments I am glad I have the relationship with John that I have in sofar as I can say 'my wee smelt funny' and he says 'yeah mine too, mum must have put asparagus in the pie'.
PHEW!!!
I am NOT dying! Hooray. Had a nice titter together over my line of thinking, subject closed.
Time to have something to eat to get over the shock ;-)
Friday, February 24, 2006
195 days and counting
Today our Spanish neighbours (well.. ehm.. they live in the UK but go to our neighbourhood in Spain a lot more than we do due to our lack of days off from the BAC) sent us some pictures of the progress around our house.The house itself has been ready for years now but around it apartments have been built and since the complex is now almost finished the tiles have gone in around the pool. Don't they look lovely?
We are going for a month in September to practice for retirement, see if we can handle the boredom :-)
Isn't it magnificent though how this picture is lit? Isn't the light in Spain in February so different from the light here now? Can't wait!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Nothing ever really changes...
Today I went for my lunch break walk right through the Wemyss Bay Woods which are absolutely lovely this time of year, still a bit bare but nice snowdrops everywhere which makes spring feel closer even when it is still very far away!
Anyway, on the way back, half way in the woods there was no-one and nothing to be seen and I loved feeling alone in the world enjoying the surroundings until suddenly about 20 meters away from me I see this big black dog standing in a sort of a 'hunting' position. You know, the way they stand when they found treasure? Very straight up ears peaked up, one paw a bit from the ground. I looked at him and tried to gauge what sort of dog he was. Agressive? Will he let me walk past him without going for my throat because he is guarding something and is convinced I want to steal it?
There was no way around him if I would follow the path home, I had to pass him. So.. I looked and listened for any nice owners that could reassure me that he wasn't going to hurt or scare me anyway. But nope.. no owners in sight, nothing to hear, no nice gentle whistle, nothing. Just that dog standing there like a statue looking at me. LOOKING AT ME. EEKS!
So.. I thought 'come on, you are 45 and not THAT afraid of black dogs anymore' so I did the 'grown up' thing and slapped with both my hands on my thighs while shouting 'come on little doggie, whats going on then', trying to distract him from whatever he was doing.
Nothing. No movement at all, except for this stare....
Thoughts of that doggie program came to mind, I tried desperately to think of any solutions she had given other people but I was to f*&% scared.
So.. the only way out of this situation for me was to either go back through the woods the way I came or go right through the woodlands to another road home which is what I did...
When clambering over the woody bits I suddenly remembered a similar moment...
All my school life I have been bullied because I was a very chubby kid with a too big head and ridiculous glasses from the age of 5, scared of her own shadow so not able to play any games because I might get hurt or teased and I rather not get into that situation.
I can't count the times that I didn't dare go to my own home because 'boys' were standing in groups of more than 2 and I was terrified that they would do 'something' to me. And they always did, push me, follow me, call me names, disallow me access to the street, all sorts.
Strangely enough.. this all changed when I got my son Kevin, I remember vividly at 25 I walked in a not so safe Rotterdam neighbourhood with Kevin in the buggy and suddenly found this cluster of youngsters hanging out in front of me. They saw me, I looked at them and felt terrified. I could do 2 things, move on or go back. The latter felt a good idea but is scary too. I knew this from experience, it is like they smell you are scared and come after you if you try to remove yourself from the situation.
So... I took a deep breath and moved forward, trying real hard to totally ignore them, waiting for the hissing 'Man, she is fat' or 'What an ugly cow' or other flattering remarks I was so used to weighing 18 stone and feeling ugly.
I walked past them and all I heard was 'ah what a cute baby' (which of course is so true!) all my fears went then, Kevin (bless him) became my armour which was a real confidence booster.
Until today when I felt I was in the same old situation again. Bullied this time by a dog.
Thinks.. do I need to start thinking about getting a puppy? :-)
Anyway, on the way back, half way in the woods there was no-one and nothing to be seen and I loved feeling alone in the world enjoying the surroundings until suddenly about 20 meters away from me I see this big black dog standing in a sort of a 'hunting' position. You know, the way they stand when they found treasure? Very straight up ears peaked up, one paw a bit from the ground. I looked at him and tried to gauge what sort of dog he was. Agressive? Will he let me walk past him without going for my throat because he is guarding something and is convinced I want to steal it?
There was no way around him if I would follow the path home, I had to pass him. So.. I looked and listened for any nice owners that could reassure me that he wasn't going to hurt or scare me anyway. But nope.. no owners in sight, nothing to hear, no nice gentle whistle, nothing. Just that dog standing there like a statue looking at me. LOOKING AT ME. EEKS!
So.. I thought 'come on, you are 45 and not THAT afraid of black dogs anymore' so I did the 'grown up' thing and slapped with both my hands on my thighs while shouting 'come on little doggie, whats going on then', trying to distract him from whatever he was doing.
Nothing. No movement at all, except for this stare....
Thoughts of that doggie program came to mind, I tried desperately to think of any solutions she had given other people but I was to f*&% scared.
So.. the only way out of this situation for me was to either go back through the woods the way I came or go right through the woodlands to another road home which is what I did...
When clambering over the woody bits I suddenly remembered a similar moment...
All my school life I have been bullied because I was a very chubby kid with a too big head and ridiculous glasses from the age of 5, scared of her own shadow so not able to play any games because I might get hurt or teased and I rather not get into that situation.
I can't count the times that I didn't dare go to my own home because 'boys' were standing in groups of more than 2 and I was terrified that they would do 'something' to me. And they always did, push me, follow me, call me names, disallow me access to the street, all sorts.
Strangely enough.. this all changed when I got my son Kevin, I remember vividly at 25 I walked in a not so safe Rotterdam neighbourhood with Kevin in the buggy and suddenly found this cluster of youngsters hanging out in front of me. They saw me, I looked at them and felt terrified. I could do 2 things, move on or go back. The latter felt a good idea but is scary too. I knew this from experience, it is like they smell you are scared and come after you if you try to remove yourself from the situation.
So... I took a deep breath and moved forward, trying real hard to totally ignore them, waiting for the hissing 'Man, she is fat' or 'What an ugly cow' or other flattering remarks I was so used to weighing 18 stone and feeling ugly.
I walked past them and all I heard was 'ah what a cute baby' (which of course is so true!) all my fears went then, Kevin (bless him) became my armour which was a real confidence booster.
Until today when I felt I was in the same old situation again. Bullied this time by a dog.
Thinks.. do I need to start thinking about getting a puppy? :-)
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
HAVE to see TV
The Armstrongs - On on Wednesdays 22.00 BBC2 - BETTER than the office. The first series I thought they were pulling my leg. It is a docusoap of a REAL existing company with owners that are just... not of this world. Well not my world really. Makes working at a BAC a doddle!
http://www.thearmstrongs.tv/
http://www.thearmstrongs.tv/
I love my thinkpad
So.... when it is BROKEN.. eeks!
My poor poor T40 I think has succumbed (is that English?!) to the system board error. It is a known error you see... because of grabbing it firmly with 2 fingers in the front corner of the poor thing. When you should CRADLE it when moving it about, or close it first.
Yeah right, in practical sense that is so not do-able, when I am connected to my favorite Big American Company (BAC for short in future) and I close my lid it loses all connections to everything and it is the pits to reconnect.
So.. say.. as a homeworker I start work from the comfort of my bed, I mean, that is the upside of working from home and owning wireless right?! And I want to carry my empty coffee cup, bottle of water AND laptop to the living room to have a change of scenery how can I lovingly cradle my laptop with both hands?
I tried it today, coincidentally, which now makes me think that that might have been too much for it, there is this technique of having it on the bed, sliding your left hand underneath and rest it like a plate in a restaurant on your arm while securing the right back corner with your hand. This of course also leaves the right hand free for any cups and bottles and making the bed up in one fair swoop.
Oh well.. too little too late I suppose, in the middle of a mail it suddenly froze, I tried to shut it off, it gave me a very nasty blue error about a device being not quite right and that was it.
Spent hours to find the BACs helpdesk number and with a little help of my BAC friend I succeeded to log a ticket with the Indian helpdesk. Of course I needed to test the little thing and thank goodness suddenly it shot back to life (it was terrifyingly black the times I tried before that) I had to put in my harddisk password (GOOOOOOD sign!) and then it said such rubbish to me that I wanted to take a picture of it.
A bit like: kjklj dffff ow dkji8ppioi pin fasdfh y887u njjlj
Poor ikkle thing! SO sick!
So tomorrow it can go with John and then it will be sent off for repair. One hopes that one's repair centre doesn't break one's hard drive since a lot of not necessarily BAC info is stored on it and of course no backup has been obtained by one.
So, hope you all keep fingers crossed now.
In the meantime I am working on 'Bertha' our very trustworthy (till now) desktop computer, a real AMD which was very cool when they came out 5 years ago :-)
And sometimes it is nice to work on something so old, you never know what you find, like a picture of the flat I used to live before I moved to bonny Scotland. It is 14 stories high and we lived in the top floor, 2nd house from the right. Huge eh!?
My poor poor T40 I think has succumbed (is that English?!) to the system board error. It is a known error you see... because of grabbing it firmly with 2 fingers in the front corner of the poor thing. When you should CRADLE it when moving it about, or close it first.
Yeah right, in practical sense that is so not do-able, when I am connected to my favorite Big American Company (BAC for short in future) and I close my lid it loses all connections to everything and it is the pits to reconnect.
So.. say.. as a homeworker I start work from the comfort of my bed, I mean, that is the upside of working from home and owning wireless right?! And I want to carry my empty coffee cup, bottle of water AND laptop to the living room to have a change of scenery how can I lovingly cradle my laptop with both hands?
I tried it today, coincidentally, which now makes me think that that might have been too much for it, there is this technique of having it on the bed, sliding your left hand underneath and rest it like a plate in a restaurant on your arm while securing the right back corner with your hand. This of course also leaves the right hand free for any cups and bottles and making the bed up in one fair swoop.
Oh well.. too little too late I suppose, in the middle of a mail it suddenly froze, I tried to shut it off, it gave me a very nasty blue error about a device being not quite right and that was it.
Spent hours to find the BACs helpdesk number and with a little help of my BAC friend I succeeded to log a ticket with the Indian helpdesk. Of course I needed to test the little thing and thank goodness suddenly it shot back to life (it was terrifyingly black the times I tried before that) I had to put in my harddisk password (GOOOOOOD sign!) and then it said such rubbish to me that I wanted to take a picture of it.
A bit like: kjklj dffff ow dkji8ppioi pin fasdfh y887u njjlj
Poor ikkle thing! SO sick!
So tomorrow it can go with John and then it will be sent off for repair. One hopes that one's repair centre doesn't break one's hard drive since a lot of not necessarily BAC info is stored on it and of course no backup has been obtained by one.
So, hope you all keep fingers crossed now.
In the meantime I am working on 'Bertha' our very trustworthy (till now) desktop computer, a real AMD which was very cool when they came out 5 years ago :-)
And sometimes it is nice to work on something so old, you never know what you find, like a picture of the flat I used to live before I moved to bonny Scotland. It is 14 stories high and we lived in the top floor, 2nd house from the right. Huge eh!?
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
It is time..
for a picture!So, what do you feel when you see this squirrel?
Do you feel 'Ahhh, cute' or 'Yuk, vermin!'
Not too long ago we were invited for a 'getting to know eachother' with our neighbours which was very nice, since we didn't have to drive home and just staggered into our beds, the red wine was lovely :-)
Anyway... I think they are so cute, they always come to our garden and have a look if we have put anything out for them and it feels so gezellig! (unexplainable Dutch word which sort of means cosy but then better in a way that you wiggle your body and make hmmmm noises).
Johns mum however absolutely hates them, they steal the apples of her trees you see.. so when she has been looking forward to pick and eat her home grown produce the little rascal steals it and as she says probably hides it 'for winter' and doesn't even eat it. They are apparently famous for stashing things and then forgetting about it so that all the nuts and fruit rots.
Oh well.. even though John and I didn't particularly like the fact that it broke 3 of our birdfeeders coz it wanted the nuts in them, we did like the cuteness of them.
So, on that particular neighbour event one of our neighbours said squirrels around here were considered vermin, rats with tails and that they scare away little birds and that they would be culled (they mean killed though :-)). Also he said 'they eat your bulbs'...
What!!!
Now listen... I am Dutch, right. There is nothing more important being a Dutch person in a foreign country than to have one's bulbs in one's garden! Over the years mine have multiplied and we now have a nice selection of tulips in different colours and some beautiful nice smelling hyacinths.
Yesterday, on the first day that it really felt like spring was coming, I checked the little green sprigs of the tentatively peeking bulbs and SHOCK HORROR, something ate the flowery bit of my HYACINTH! They even started on the leaves of my favorite HUGE red tulip! So that's it!
Wemyss Bay squirrels... ---------> B E W A R E <----------- Don't mess with The Teeg!
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Self fulfilling prophecy
Ever watch 'deal, no deal'?
It is on every day and I generally have it on as 'wallpaper' while doing 10 other things.
For the ones that haven't seen it... there are 21 (or so) boxes held by as many different people, each box showing an amount of money ranging between 1 penny and 250.000 pounds. One person (with 1 box) gets chosen to play the game. He needs to decide which boxes to open first and if an amount is chosen it gets taken of the playboard. Every 3 boxes the 'banker' calls in and gives on offer to buy the players box. Of course.. every player believes they by mere accident have a big amount in their box, in reality chances of getting one of the big prices are a lot slimmer!
So.. this guy gets chosen and the presenter does his interview with him and the guy says 'yeah, nothing in my life goes easy, everything is a struggle so this will not be different'. OOOOOKaayyyyyyyy I think... this guy is gonna screw it in a way he will NOT win any big price!
So.. on he went.. Choosing boxes like one does when playing this game and the banker never gave him anything good to go on at all, very low amounts of money so it was very easy for him to keep on saying 'no deal' and continue with the game.
Then finally.... he has only 6 boxes left, 3 low ones, 3 big ones (highest something like 50000) and oh joy, the banker calls and offers him 25000 pounds.
Now..Lets get this straight. You can buy 2 nice cars for 25000 or a flat in Greenock to let out. Or pay all your college debt. The guy said 'yeah I have my wife to consider and my 2 kids' so I thought 'phew, luckily I got it all wrong when I thought he wouldn't go for it'. 25000 pound is such a good offer, to gamble that with the odds so low would be so silly. So I sat back and relaxed ready to get this 'feel good' feeling I get when people are made very happy.
So, the guy asks the presenter, OK I'm ready, give me the question. So the presenter goes 'Deal or No Deal'? And the guy says NO DEAL!
NO DEAL!!
Are you out of your mind!? Are you absolutely barking mad?
Of course he went on thinking he could get richer than offered but it all turned to poo. I think he got something like 100 quid out of it in the end. And the presenter kept on saying 'do not judge the ones who are brave enough to go on'. Pfah!
I am judging him very much, even when I try not to, I can't help myself.
This is victimisation taken to a new level. Not only did he do a 'poor me' because life is such a hard struggle, he set HIMSELF up for another failure by not accepting what was there already for grabs. And I bet he said to everyone around him 'I am always unlucky, I will never be successful, I will never get what I really want'.
I have never seen a better example of always wanting what is beyond reach and not realising the potential of the present.
This was not about settling for less because you can't get more, this was about learning to stop looking at what might be and realising and appreciating what is already there.
It is on every day and I generally have it on as 'wallpaper' while doing 10 other things.
For the ones that haven't seen it... there are 21 (or so) boxes held by as many different people, each box showing an amount of money ranging between 1 penny and 250.000 pounds. One person (with 1 box) gets chosen to play the game. He needs to decide which boxes to open first and if an amount is chosen it gets taken of the playboard. Every 3 boxes the 'banker' calls in and gives on offer to buy the players box. Of course.. every player believes they by mere accident have a big amount in their box, in reality chances of getting one of the big prices are a lot slimmer!
So.. this guy gets chosen and the presenter does his interview with him and the guy says 'yeah, nothing in my life goes easy, everything is a struggle so this will not be different'. OOOOOKaayyyyyyyy I think... this guy is gonna screw it in a way he will NOT win any big price!
So.. on he went.. Choosing boxes like one does when playing this game and the banker never gave him anything good to go on at all, very low amounts of money so it was very easy for him to keep on saying 'no deal' and continue with the game.
Then finally.... he has only 6 boxes left, 3 low ones, 3 big ones (highest something like 50000) and oh joy, the banker calls and offers him 25000 pounds.
Now..Lets get this straight. You can buy 2 nice cars for 25000 or a flat in Greenock to let out. Or pay all your college debt. The guy said 'yeah I have my wife to consider and my 2 kids' so I thought 'phew, luckily I got it all wrong when I thought he wouldn't go for it'. 25000 pound is such a good offer, to gamble that with the odds so low would be so silly. So I sat back and relaxed ready to get this 'feel good' feeling I get when people are made very happy.
So, the guy asks the presenter, OK I'm ready, give me the question. So the presenter goes 'Deal or No Deal'? And the guy says NO DEAL!
NO DEAL!!
Are you out of your mind!? Are you absolutely barking mad?
Of course he went on thinking he could get richer than offered but it all turned to poo. I think he got something like 100 quid out of it in the end. And the presenter kept on saying 'do not judge the ones who are brave enough to go on'. Pfah!
I am judging him very much, even when I try not to, I can't help myself.
This is victimisation taken to a new level. Not only did he do a 'poor me' because life is such a hard struggle, he set HIMSELF up for another failure by not accepting what was there already for grabs. And I bet he said to everyone around him 'I am always unlucky, I will never be successful, I will never get what I really want'.
I have never seen a better example of always wanting what is beyond reach and not realising the potential of the present.
This was not about settling for less because you can't get more, this was about learning to stop looking at what might be and realising and appreciating what is already there.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Jean M Auel - The Clan of the Cave bear
Just finished that one.. and started in the next..
Have you ever heard of it? I have read it about 20 years ago and like it but read it more for the romance than the history and in Dutch.
As the JeanMAuel site says:
It is fascinating to read how people in that day and age were supposed to have lived. But it taught me something very deep really... and of course, unsurprisingly, about food!
Ages and ages ago when 'we' lived in caves there was no Tesco with abundance of anything processed. Not that I think those cave people were necessarily healthier than we are, I think the average age of death must have been around 30 :) (am guessing here though)
Anyway what I noticed in the description of how the clan lived was that grains, fruit and vegetables were always readily available, every now and then someone would kill a little animal like a rabbit (and never meat eaters) and once or twice a year the men would go on a hunt to kill 1 animal which would then tie a clan over for an entire winter by drying the meat and putting it in the ground.
Makes you realise WHY big amounts of red meat every day is not something our bodies are necessarily built for, the clan only ate little bits of dried meat which they then also chewed on for ages, no way you can eat a big amount of it. Also I understand better the constant call for fruit and vegetables. It has made me even more convinced that the way forward for me is to stay as low in the foodchain as possible.
Like.. if you think through how many processes that salmon and broccoli (quite tasteless too) quiche I had yesterday had to go through before being taken out of our freezer it is scary really. How many hands that must have gone through (which is even more scary better not think about that too much!)
So.. once we have eaten the fridge empty of rubbish (coz we can't waste it, there ARE limits ;)) I vow to only make my own quiche :-)
Reading the next book of the 'Earth Children' now though, Valley of the horses, so glad I live now and have a nice filled up Tesco available!
Have you ever heard of it? I have read it about 20 years ago and like it but read it more for the romance than the history and in Dutch.
As the JeanMAuel site says:
The story of Ayla begins when, as a 5-year-old orphan, she is adopted by the Clan, a group of Neanderthals. Initially she inspires surprise, then wariness and finally acceptance by the Clan. She is cared for by its medicine woman, Iza, and its wise holy man, Creb. But she makes an implacable enemy of the group's future leader, Broud. He will do all he can to destroy her - but Ayla is a survivor.Reading it was a totally different experience 20 years later, because of a more experienced view on the world in general I suppose and maybe also because there is nothing better than reading a book in its own language.
It is fascinating to read how people in that day and age were supposed to have lived. But it taught me something very deep really... and of course, unsurprisingly, about food!
Ages and ages ago when 'we' lived in caves there was no Tesco with abundance of anything processed. Not that I think those cave people were necessarily healthier than we are, I think the average age of death must have been around 30 :) (am guessing here though)
Anyway what I noticed in the description of how the clan lived was that grains, fruit and vegetables were always readily available, every now and then someone would kill a little animal like a rabbit (and never meat eaters) and once or twice a year the men would go on a hunt to kill 1 animal which would then tie a clan over for an entire winter by drying the meat and putting it in the ground.
Makes you realise WHY big amounts of red meat every day is not something our bodies are necessarily built for, the clan only ate little bits of dried meat which they then also chewed on for ages, no way you can eat a big amount of it. Also I understand better the constant call for fruit and vegetables. It has made me even more convinced that the way forward for me is to stay as low in the foodchain as possible.
Like.. if you think through how many processes that salmon and broccoli (quite tasteless too) quiche I had yesterday had to go through before being taken out of our freezer it is scary really. How many hands that must have gone through (which is even more scary better not think about that too much!)
So.. once we have eaten the fridge empty of rubbish (coz we can't waste it, there ARE limits ;)) I vow to only make my own quiche :-)
Reading the next book of the 'Earth Children' now though, Valley of the horses, so glad I live now and have a nice filled up Tesco available!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Today..
... was dentist day. YAY!
Uhmm... not quite... nervous as hell which, without going into too much detail, was very good for my weight :-)
Strangely enough my crown stopped hurting after my sinusitus went and after using some whitening toothpaste it doesn't seem to be standing out as much (red wine, curry and coffee is the pits for teeth colouring and did you know a crown does not colour from those?!)
So.... since I wasn't feeling particularly brave I didn't step into the dentist office saying 'make it so, get me a new one', I just mumbled something about 'slightly hurting during sinusitus' and she hastened to say not to worry that she would have a good look at it (scary!) but luckily all was OK.
My gingivitis is on the way out (hooray) and all I need to do is return to the hygienist next month which I can strangely enough cope with a lot better than those checkups where you never know what surprise is gonna be sprung on you!
Anyway... didn't stop unwinding until now really and had a definite urge for 'white food' so... had salmon and broccoli quiche with baked beans for lunch and a bagle and hot cross bun AND some cereal for dinner. Hmm.... yep.. no veggies as such :-) Did manage to do the orange and apple treat though.
Did I tell you about that? Perfect way of eating fruit if you don't really fancy it! Cut apple in bits, orange in bits, walnuts in bits, put in bowl with a bit of cinnamon on top and suddenly it tastes like a treat and not just the required amount of fruit.
And oh, .. inspired by all these 'live healthy programs' I am now drinking hot water with lemon in it early morning and late evening and that is strangely enough so nice! The first sip makes you go brrrrrrr but after that it is lovely and soothening and a real find! Supposed to aid weightloss so.. I am weighting :)
Uhmm... not quite... nervous as hell which, without going into too much detail, was very good for my weight :-)
Strangely enough my crown stopped hurting after my sinusitus went and after using some whitening toothpaste it doesn't seem to be standing out as much (red wine, curry and coffee is the pits for teeth colouring and did you know a crown does not colour from those?!)
So.... since I wasn't feeling particularly brave I didn't step into the dentist office saying 'make it so, get me a new one', I just mumbled something about 'slightly hurting during sinusitus' and she hastened to say not to worry that she would have a good look at it (scary!) but luckily all was OK.
My gingivitis is on the way out (hooray) and all I need to do is return to the hygienist next month which I can strangely enough cope with a lot better than those checkups where you never know what surprise is gonna be sprung on you!
Anyway... didn't stop unwinding until now really and had a definite urge for 'white food' so... had salmon and broccoli quiche with baked beans for lunch and a bagle and hot cross bun AND some cereal for dinner. Hmm.... yep.. no veggies as such :-) Did manage to do the orange and apple treat though.
Did I tell you about that? Perfect way of eating fruit if you don't really fancy it! Cut apple in bits, orange in bits, walnuts in bits, put in bowl with a bit of cinnamon on top and suddenly it tastes like a treat and not just the required amount of fruit.
And oh, .. inspired by all these 'live healthy programs' I am now drinking hot water with lemon in it early morning and late evening and that is strangely enough so nice! The first sip makes you go brrrrrrr but after that it is lovely and soothening and a real find! Supposed to aid weightloss so.. I am weighting :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
You know that you are old
when somebody says 'when I was young' and talks about something that happened 11 (ELEVEN) years ago.
Getting older is fun though I think, thank Goodness, since you can't do an awful lot about it except for *trying* to grow old gracefully.
I always wonder what that means though, gracefully.....
Does that mean you are not allowed to talk about failing eyesight, hearing, creaking knees, sagging eyes, weird hair growth and need to pretend you are not only still 20 in your mind but your body too?
Hmm.. think I will not grow old *that* gracefully then!
So.. if I say 'getting older is fun' I am talking emotionally rather than anything else I suppose, it is so nice to not have to worry ALL the time if I am good enough, I just know I am not and that is OK :-)
I know now which traits in my personality get on other peoples nerves so I can use them as I please and when somebody reacts allergic I can just think 'oh yeah, tone it down girl'.
Growing older made it possible to see me and my personal growth as a project instead of me going up and down with every drama in my life. Do you know that feeling? When you feel you are constantly swept from your feet by ever changing emotional rollercoasters?
It feels like age gave me the ability to take a step back from my life and emotions and look at it in a 'yeah that bit needs a bit of attention' and then think of how to put an action plan in place while all the other bits that make 'me' up still go on as they were without being disturbed. It is OK to have parts of my life or me not being perfect. With age I have developed this deep down grounded feeling of 'you know what? I will be perfectly OK'
I should make advertising for getting older :-)
Getting older is fun though I think, thank Goodness, since you can't do an awful lot about it except for *trying* to grow old gracefully.
I always wonder what that means though, gracefully.....
Does that mean you are not allowed to talk about failing eyesight, hearing, creaking knees, sagging eyes, weird hair growth and need to pretend you are not only still 20 in your mind but your body too?
Hmm.. think I will not grow old *that* gracefully then!
So.. if I say 'getting older is fun' I am talking emotionally rather than anything else I suppose, it is so nice to not have to worry ALL the time if I am good enough, I just know I am not and that is OK :-)
I know now which traits in my personality get on other peoples nerves so I can use them as I please and when somebody reacts allergic I can just think 'oh yeah, tone it down girl'.
Growing older made it possible to see me and my personal growth as a project instead of me going up and down with every drama in my life. Do you know that feeling? When you feel you are constantly swept from your feet by ever changing emotional rollercoasters?
It feels like age gave me the ability to take a step back from my life and emotions and look at it in a 'yeah that bit needs a bit of attention' and then think of how to put an action plan in place while all the other bits that make 'me' up still go on as they were without being disturbed. It is OK to have parts of my life or me not being perfect. With age I have developed this deep down grounded feeling of 'you know what? I will be perfectly OK'
I should make advertising for getting older :-)
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Food for thought
Four jobs I’ve had
1. Processed meat (delicatesse department of Albert Heijn) slicer, weigher and seller.
2. Telex operator
3. Export document administrator at Heineken (beer on the trolley at 3pm)
4. Job Centre consultant (why do you think work is 'not for you'?)
Four movies I can watch over and over
1. Big (I know, so shallow, but I just LOVE the way he jumps on that piano and makes music)
2. Sound of Music (because of the sing along of course)
3. Notting Hill (nothing like a bit of glamorous romance)
4. Thomas Crown Affair (very sexy, very intelligent and great music)
Four places I have lived
1. Rotterdam, 3 stories high renting a tiny room when my parent were very poor
2. Capelle aan den IJssel, a semi bungalow with 3 bathrooms when my parents were not poor anymore
3. Capelle aan den IJssel, 14 stories high overlooking houses and fields
4. Wemyss Bay, tiny village, bungalow overlooking the clyde
Four TV shows I love
1. x-Factor (as well as any other show that kicks someone out each week)
2. Diet Doctors
3. As The World Turns (still tape that from Dutch satellite tv :-))
4. The Oprah Show
Four places I’ve vacationed
1. Piano Porlezza, Italy
2. Ardennes, Belgium
3. Manchester, UK
4. El Calon, Spain
Four of my favorite dishes
1. Tortilla Wraps
2. Broccoli Soup
3. Vegetarian Curry
4. Carrot Soup
Four sites I visit daily
1. Dooce
2. Blurbomat
3. BBC News
4. De Telegraaf
Four places I would rather be right now
1. In our house in El Calon where it might be winter as well but still a lot drier than here!
2. In bed snuggled up and knowing that I only need to do something if I want, not because I have to.
3. In the Efteling.
4. In a Dutch sauna (which is really a Spa with a lot of warmth, water and great food)
Four people I am tagging
1. Norunn
2. Presentnapper
3. Edmond Dantes
4. Any volonteers?
(stolen from www.dooce.com of course :-))
Monday, February 13, 2006
Healthy Hearty and Yummie!
So.... had a pound of carrots in the fridge, for ages I should add.. it is a good thing that these root vegetables only need a bit of thin slicing to look ever so nice and alive again but..I did take pity on them and devised a perfect low fat carrot soup by reading through say 20 recipes and do 'fusion' :-)
So...
1 pan with:
1 pound carrots in chunks
1 leek in bits
1 green pepper in chunks
1 tin of tomato chunks (tesco value, of course :-))
1 stock cube
enough water to cover the veggies
1 pan with:
handful of red lentils
smaller handful of pearl barley
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon ground coriander
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
about 300 ml of water
Other ingredients
Flaked almonds, slightly roasted in a dry pan
Dash of lemon (if available)
Creme Fraiche
Boil the lentils and barley for at least 1 hour.
The pan with all the veggies needs to be boiled for 30 minutes or so.
When it is all cooked get your blending iron (well you know that mixing thing you can stick in the pan and make anything in bits submit into creamy soup) and mush up the contents of the veggie pan.
Then add the lentils and barley mixture to the soup, stir and add pepper and salt to taste.
When served it is lovely to add a little dollop of creme fraiche and have it with a small nan brad (Tesco have these 1 person garlic herb ones, so nice!)
The consistency of this soup is so thick it 'blobs' when finished, it can be thinned down of course but it is actually so nice in this weather to eat the blobby stuff, the almonds and barley give it a bit of a bite so you don't feel you are eating babyfood!
And it is so healthy, all these vegetables and the healthy protein in the lentils, I am chuffed!
So...
1 pan with:
1 pound carrots in chunks
1 leek in bits
1 green pepper in chunks
1 tin of tomato chunks (tesco value, of course :-))
1 stock cube
enough water to cover the veggies
1 pan with:
handful of red lentils
smaller handful of pearl barley
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon ground coriander
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
about 300 ml of water
Other ingredients
Flaked almonds, slightly roasted in a dry pan
Dash of lemon (if available)
Creme Fraiche
Boil the lentils and barley for at least 1 hour.
The pan with all the veggies needs to be boiled for 30 minutes or so.
When it is all cooked get your blending iron (well you know that mixing thing you can stick in the pan and make anything in bits submit into creamy soup) and mush up the contents of the veggie pan.
Then add the lentils and barley mixture to the soup, stir and add pepper and salt to taste.
When served it is lovely to add a little dollop of creme fraiche and have it with a small nan brad (Tesco have these 1 person garlic herb ones, so nice!)
The consistency of this soup is so thick it 'blobs' when finished, it can be thinned down of course but it is actually so nice in this weather to eat the blobby stuff, the almonds and barley give it a bit of a bite so you don't feel you are eating babyfood!
And it is so healthy, all these vegetables and the healthy protein in the lentils, I am chuffed!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Lazy Sunday afternoooooooooon
Thank Goodness, a lot more energy today!
Even dragged John outside for a walk on the beach in the drizzly rain, I know, madness, but this is Scotland and if you think Holland is a rainy place, think again!
At the moment it feels like there are only 2 types of weather here, it is either mild but wet, or dry but icy cold, there seems to be nothing in between unless of course you count the days that it is icy cold, raining *and* blowing a gale.
Not that I am complaining, lets call it stating a fact. This is Scotland, it must be the greenest country I have ever seen and that comes with a price, it can only be this green *because* of all the rain!
And it has its upsides too, it gives an excuse to NOT go outside and be a couch potato and the views are spectacular, because we have a free view over the Clyde estuary you can see rain coming miles away which means you can see bright sunshine on the left and dark grey curtain approaching on the right, beautiful.
A Scottish solicitor once made a joke when he was looking out our window. He says that an old Scottish saying is 'If you can see Arran, it will soon be raining', of course I immediately took the bite and said 'So what if you can't'? And he said 'If you can't see Arran, it already is'. :-)
Even dragged John outside for a walk on the beach in the drizzly rain, I know, madness, but this is Scotland and if you think Holland is a rainy place, think again!
At the moment it feels like there are only 2 types of weather here, it is either mild but wet, or dry but icy cold, there seems to be nothing in between unless of course you count the days that it is icy cold, raining *and* blowing a gale.
Not that I am complaining, lets call it stating a fact. This is Scotland, it must be the greenest country I have ever seen and that comes with a price, it can only be this green *because* of all the rain!
And it has its upsides too, it gives an excuse to NOT go outside and be a couch potato and the views are spectacular, because we have a free view over the Clyde estuary you can see rain coming miles away which means you can see bright sunshine on the left and dark grey curtain approaching on the right, beautiful.
A Scottish solicitor once made a joke when he was looking out our window. He says that an old Scottish saying is 'If you can see Arran, it will soon be raining', of course I immediately took the bite and said 'So what if you can't'? And he said 'If you can't see Arran, it already is'. :-)
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Inertia rules
Oh Saturday!
So nice! I remember the days BJ (before John) where I would sleep in until 11, would not get dressed until 4 in the afternoon and only that because I needed to get to the shops before 5 since in that day and age in Holland shops closed a lot earlier. Then have for dinner all the crap I bought in the shop and chill out in front of the telly/computer (some things never change)
How different my life is AJ (after John) - I get woken up with a nice cup of tea at about 8 in the morning which he thinks is very late and considers 'sleeping in'. Then around about 9 we have to be in the car to do the Saturday rounds which means Postoffice to get rid of eBay parcels, buy stamps, then to Morrisons for the recycling of our paper and glass (the rest goes in the beloved blue bin, I bet we have the lowest quantity of garbage in oh say Inverclyde)
Then INTO Morrisons to look for bargains, into most of the time into Lidl for more bargains, then into Tesco for the weekly general shop, then I get my 45 minutes 'woman shop' while John whizzes around all the shops to look for even more bargains and I do some clothes shopping and other girlie things.
All this would have taken me about a day or 2 in my past, well, I suppose that is a bit unfair, Rotterdam does have a few more shops than the Greenock Oakmall but generally by the time we are home again (which is 12:15 or so) I feel that I have only just woken up and at the same time the day has all happened. :-)
Then the nice bit of the day happens where John's mum (who lives in our street) makes us a nice healhty hearty meal because I think she thinks we work too hard so need feeding. I approve! It is lovely to never know what it is going to be and to be cooked for.
Anyway... Don't know if it is the flue that is still slightly lingering but the 'waking up' moment seems to have not happened today.
My friend K has that occasionally, she calls it 'feeling switched off', like somebody forgot to switch the lights on. Effect is that the 'can't be bovvered' feeling becomes even bigger and extends beyond television.
Oh dear! So, I have given into it. John told me to go on the couch under a quilt and added two hottle bottles for comfyness, very nice.
All I have to do now is just chill, let inertia take its course and flop, lovely.
And I know I am a boring old fart but I am SO happy that I don't have to go anywhere at all tonight!
So nice! I remember the days BJ (before John) where I would sleep in until 11, would not get dressed until 4 in the afternoon and only that because I needed to get to the shops before 5 since in that day and age in Holland shops closed a lot earlier. Then have for dinner all the crap I bought in the shop and chill out in front of the telly/computer (some things never change)
How different my life is AJ (after John) - I get woken up with a nice cup of tea at about 8 in the morning which he thinks is very late and considers 'sleeping in'. Then around about 9 we have to be in the car to do the Saturday rounds which means Postoffice to get rid of eBay parcels, buy stamps, then to Morrisons for the recycling of our paper and glass (the rest goes in the beloved blue bin, I bet we have the lowest quantity of garbage in oh say Inverclyde)
Then INTO Morrisons to look for bargains, into most of the time into Lidl for more bargains, then into Tesco for the weekly general shop, then I get my 45 minutes 'woman shop' while John whizzes around all the shops to look for even more bargains and I do some clothes shopping and other girlie things.
All this would have taken me about a day or 2 in my past, well, I suppose that is a bit unfair, Rotterdam does have a few more shops than the Greenock Oakmall but generally by the time we are home again (which is 12:15 or so) I feel that I have only just woken up and at the same time the day has all happened. :-)
Then the nice bit of the day happens where John's mum (who lives in our street) makes us a nice healhty hearty meal because I think she thinks we work too hard so need feeding. I approve! It is lovely to never know what it is going to be and to be cooked for.
Anyway... Don't know if it is the flue that is still slightly lingering but the 'waking up' moment seems to have not happened today.
My friend K has that occasionally, she calls it 'feeling switched off', like somebody forgot to switch the lights on. Effect is that the 'can't be bovvered' feeling becomes even bigger and extends beyond television.
Oh dear! So, I have given into it. John told me to go on the couch under a quilt and added two hottle bottles for comfyness, very nice.
All I have to do now is just chill, let inertia take its course and flop, lovely.
And I know I am a boring old fart but I am SO happy that I don't have to go anywhere at all tonight!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Can't be bothered
Thinks.. is that something British?
I can't help myself just laughing a bit too hard at Katherine Tate's 'Am I bovvered?'
Brilliant I think, I can't even say why and looking at Johns expression when I am rolling on the floor laughing I am so alone in that sentiment :-)
Anyway, I feel I have developed a very high level of 'can't be bovvered' since I am in this country.
For instance television gives me a very high 'can't be bovvered' feel, Prison Break for instance, I am SURE it is a very good series even when it is shown on FIVE, it has everything, hunks of REAL men (always nice to look at), threatening situations and a clever plot. And that is maybe where the wheels fall off... It just needs too much of my attention and I can't be bothered. I like sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap (I mean.. isn't that WHY it is called laptop? Do you know they advise to never keep it on your lap top because it closes off its ventilation bits? Crazy, then it shouldn't have become a laptop that is what I say, go and find a solution for your stuffed ventilation bits like the rest of us!)
Anyway.. I digress... see.. that is what happens all the time!
Watching Prison Break and because of laptop on lap I notice some eBay items have been sold so I need to relist them and send out 2nd chance offers (oops what did that prison guard say, and who is that girl, is this a 'like Lost' flashback or is this another brother? And why don't they alternate redheads and blonds with the dark guys a bit so I can keep up better with who is who) and of course there is no way I can follow what the poor scriptwriter meant to say.
Short attention span you see... sign of our times I suppose too many things going on at any given time. Which is probably why I like reality TV... I know it is so not allowed. One is supposed to only like 24 and House and even though I like those as well it needs quite a bit of attention span and I just can't be bovvered!
Reality tv is easy, not a lot happens, occasionally, when my attention is not on my laptop, an half funny or extraordinarily stupid remark can filter through to make me titter while doing a few other things.
So.. am I a TV addict? Or should we devise a new category of 'TV always on-addict'. Well.. thinking about it... Am I really that bovvered?
I can't help myself just laughing a bit too hard at Katherine Tate's 'Am I bovvered?'
Brilliant I think, I can't even say why and looking at Johns expression when I am rolling on the floor laughing I am so alone in that sentiment :-)
Anyway, I feel I have developed a very high level of 'can't be bovvered' since I am in this country.
For instance television gives me a very high 'can't be bovvered' feel, Prison Break for instance, I am SURE it is a very good series even when it is shown on FIVE, it has everything, hunks of REAL men (always nice to look at), threatening situations and a clever plot. And that is maybe where the wheels fall off... It just needs too much of my attention and I can't be bothered. I like sitting on the couch with my laptop on my lap (I mean.. isn't that WHY it is called laptop? Do you know they advise to never keep it on your lap top because it closes off its ventilation bits? Crazy, then it shouldn't have become a laptop that is what I say, go and find a solution for your stuffed ventilation bits like the rest of us!)
Anyway.. I digress... see.. that is what happens all the time!
Watching Prison Break and because of laptop on lap I notice some eBay items have been sold so I need to relist them and send out 2nd chance offers (oops what did that prison guard say, and who is that girl, is this a 'like Lost' flashback or is this another brother? And why don't they alternate redheads and blonds with the dark guys a bit so I can keep up better with who is who) and of course there is no way I can follow what the poor scriptwriter meant to say.
Short attention span you see... sign of our times I suppose too many things going on at any given time. Which is probably why I like reality TV... I know it is so not allowed. One is supposed to only like 24 and House and even though I like those as well it needs quite a bit of attention span and I just can't be bovvered!
Reality tv is easy, not a lot happens, occasionally, when my attention is not on my laptop, an half funny or extraordinarily stupid remark can filter through to make me titter while doing a few other things.
So.. am I a TV addict? Or should we devise a new category of 'TV always on-addict'. Well.. thinking about it... Am I really that bovvered?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Diet Doctor
Do you ever watch that program? Thursdays on FIVE? It is fascinating really, they do not just give someone a diet and exercise regime and say 'get on with it', they go about it more scientific by first checking all sorts of things like poo, urine and blood (yeah yuk I know) and do interesting tests like checking if you are mineral deficient. They also look at ones tongue for instance if it is big, has a coating, cracks or other things that give them a mass of information about how your are doing.
It is very educational I must say...
However, it has a bit of the effect that everytime they find something wrong with the subject of their attention I immediately think I have all those illnesses and deficiencies as well which is a bit unsettling. I suppose it is the same like those stories you always hear about medical students when they learn all the symtoms they need to recognise, apparently they also always think they have all the symptoms they read about.
I am just wondering what that is...
I am wondering.. why I seem to have this deep rooted belief that I am either not healthy or if I by accident might be after all, seem to be convinced that this is only a temporary state.
Is that what one calls hypochondria?
Or does everybody has that and am I once again the only one talking about it? Sometimes I so wish I could look into other peoples heads to be reassured at this level.
Isn't that weird though, thinking about it? That you think that what you think is normal? But how do you know? Since you can never be in someone elses thoughts or feelings? I always feel a tiny bit uneasy if someone says 'I know what you mean', not that I don't use that phrase every day of my life mind you, it is just when I say it or when I hear it from someone else I think 'do you?', 'do I?' and how do we know? Because sometimes I just KNOW I do know what the other person means, I always thought it was because it linked to something I can relate to which could be why it feels I know exactly what the other person means.
Maybe - watching the grammy's with half an eye and getting inspired - maybe it is like singing harmony. Have you ever done that? Sang a harmony with someone? You can sing 3 songs in canon and never harmonise and suddenly find someone who exactly matches your vibration, singing different notes but locking into yours making the song sound more than just a song sang together. Connecting together and feeling the 'I know what you mean' feeling.
And THAT is what I miss with my body, I am not sure I know what it is telling me, if anything. I would like to reach a state of understanding with my body so I can feel 'I know what you mean'
Thinks.. are there any 'belly-singing' classes?
:-)
It is very educational I must say...
However, it has a bit of the effect that everytime they find something wrong with the subject of their attention I immediately think I have all those illnesses and deficiencies as well which is a bit unsettling. I suppose it is the same like those stories you always hear about medical students when they learn all the symtoms they need to recognise, apparently they also always think they have all the symptoms they read about.
I am just wondering what that is...
I am wondering.. why I seem to have this deep rooted belief that I am either not healthy or if I by accident might be after all, seem to be convinced that this is only a temporary state.
Is that what one calls hypochondria?
Or does everybody has that and am I once again the only one talking about it? Sometimes I so wish I could look into other peoples heads to be reassured at this level.
Isn't that weird though, thinking about it? That you think that what you think is normal? But how do you know? Since you can never be in someone elses thoughts or feelings? I always feel a tiny bit uneasy if someone says 'I know what you mean', not that I don't use that phrase every day of my life mind you, it is just when I say it or when I hear it from someone else I think 'do you?', 'do I?' and how do we know? Because sometimes I just KNOW I do know what the other person means, I always thought it was because it linked to something I can relate to which could be why it feels I know exactly what the other person means.
Maybe - watching the grammy's with half an eye and getting inspired - maybe it is like singing harmony. Have you ever done that? Sang a harmony with someone? You can sing 3 songs in canon and never harmonise and suddenly find someone who exactly matches your vibration, singing different notes but locking into yours making the song sound more than just a song sang together. Connecting together and feeling the 'I know what you mean' feeling.
And THAT is what I miss with my body, I am not sure I know what it is telling me, if anything. I would like to reach a state of understanding with my body so I can feel 'I know what you mean'
Thinks.. are there any 'belly-singing' classes?
:-)
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Don't tell John!
From Richard & Judy today:
Goodness... this is BAD news!
In October 2003 on our way to Ireland for our summer (well autumn really) holidays John asked me 'If you could choose any country in the world to live would you choose Scotland?' Of course maybe I should do some scene-setting first! It was pooring down with rain, the roads were wet, the hills invisible through the fog, the windows all steamed up and it was only beginning of October. So.. after about half a second deliberation I said 'well ... it is gorgeous here but the weather DOES get to me, when we are old and grey I would love to live somewhere warm part of the year, winter in Spain or something'.
Man..... life did sort of take over after that.. it is scary sometimes how John and I take an idea and project manage it through to conclusion (as they would say at the Big American Company I work for :-)).
We went to a 'want to buy a house overseas' fair and decided that Almeria would be the best region for us to buy in. It is the cheapest area (well, was at the time anyway) and it is the hottest and driest area in the winter which of course was why we wanted to buy there anyway.
Tiny bit of detail was that it is a BIT far away.. like 4 days drive far away. (3000 km)
Lovely of these 'buy a house here' things is that the agents get SO much commission that you can go for an inspection trip for close to nothing (100 quid per person for 3 days in luxury hotel etc all meals paid etc.) But of course.. flying would be involved....
John had a bit of a fobia for flying, like sheer panic. Luckily the idea that he could save a lot of money by buying a house in Spain sooner rather than later convinced him to try it. And, I am happy to say that now after about 5 visits to the house we eventually bought, the fear of flying is at a do-able level.
You know this trick about asking someone who is panicking to give the feeling a number? First time we went it was about a constant 9, last time it hovered around 2 with maybe a 5 when taking off :)
The main thing that convinced John that flying though was not as scary as he thought was because all scientists kept saying that it is a lot more dangerous to drive a car than to fly and now this
Anyway.. with a bit of luck I can steer the TV away from this series :-)
And... found something interesting when I was fooling around... try and put 'Tanja Gommers' in Google and press the 'Im feeling lucky' button. Now... how COOL is that!!
As a new series of Air Crash Investigations begins on Wednesday night, we ask how safe is it to travel by air? Air safety expert and journalist Andrew Weir says that you are 12 times more likely to die in a plane than in a car and that travelling by road or train is actually far safer than flying.
Goodness... this is BAD news!
In October 2003 on our way to Ireland for our summer (well autumn really) holidays John asked me 'If you could choose any country in the world to live would you choose Scotland?' Of course maybe I should do some scene-setting first! It was pooring down with rain, the roads were wet, the hills invisible through the fog, the windows all steamed up and it was only beginning of October. So.. after about half a second deliberation I said 'well ... it is gorgeous here but the weather DOES get to me, when we are old and grey I would love to live somewhere warm part of the year, winter in Spain or something'.
Man..... life did sort of take over after that.. it is scary sometimes how John and I take an idea and project manage it through to conclusion (as they would say at the Big American Company I work for :-)).
We went to a 'want to buy a house overseas' fair and decided that Almeria would be the best region for us to buy in. It is the cheapest area (well, was at the time anyway) and it is the hottest and driest area in the winter which of course was why we wanted to buy there anyway.
Tiny bit of detail was that it is a BIT far away.. like 4 days drive far away. (3000 km)
Lovely of these 'buy a house here' things is that the agents get SO much commission that you can go for an inspection trip for close to nothing (100 quid per person for 3 days in luxury hotel etc all meals paid etc.) But of course.. flying would be involved....
John had a bit of a fobia for flying, like sheer panic. Luckily the idea that he could save a lot of money by buying a house in Spain sooner rather than later convinced him to try it. And, I am happy to say that now after about 5 visits to the house we eventually bought, the fear of flying is at a do-able level.
You know this trick about asking someone who is panicking to give the feeling a number? First time we went it was about a constant 9, last time it hovered around 2 with maybe a 5 when taking off :)
The main thing that convinced John that flying though was not as scary as he thought was because all scientists kept saying that it is a lot more dangerous to drive a car than to fly and now this
Anyway.. with a bit of luck I can steer the TV away from this series :-)
And... found something interesting when I was fooling around... try and put 'Tanja Gommers' in Google and press the 'Im feeling lucky' button. Now... how COOL is that!!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Fun fun fun
Hi Guys!
Ever visited www.myheritage.com?
Fascinating.. upload a picture from yourself to get compared to a big database of celebrities to see if you are anybodies look-a-like. Bit worrying was that when I did that I had most of the same features apparently as Philip Glass (well at least he is very talented) and Roger Federer. Thinks... always knew I had a bit much testosteron but THAT much?
Oh.. nice though.... only a few percentages less and I look like Shannon Doherty, now THAT is a compliment. So .. think I will keep with that option!
Have fun!
Ever visited www.myheritage.com?
Fascinating.. upload a picture from yourself to get compared to a big database of celebrities to see if you are anybodies look-a-like. Bit worrying was that when I did that I had most of the same features apparently as Philip Glass (well at least he is very talented) and Roger Federer. Thinks... always knew I had a bit much testosteron but THAT much?
Oh.. nice though.... only a few percentages less and I look like Shannon Doherty, now THAT is a compliment. So .. think I will keep with that option!
Have fun!
Monday, February 06, 2006
Crownin' Glory
When I was 16 my best friend and me went for a cycle ride (like you do when you are Dutch) to the nearby woods. I think her bike was broken so we both went on mine. I had one of those REALLY cool 'grandma' bikes, they had this very old fashioned look which was very 'in' at the time.
The main attraction for me was the little basket in the front which could hold my schoolbags but, as we found out very quickly, if you removed the basket a proper 'seat' was revealed in front. Of course... NORMAL teenagers have their friends on the BACK of the bike but it was so much more social to have her in front facing me so we could chatter easily. Since I was quite chubby and she was tiny and 2 years younger we thought it would be fine!
Which it was... we cycled for miles singing silly songs (like you do at that age) until we came to a road in the woods with 'sleeping policemen', we took a few of those without any problems when suddenly I found myself on the street bleeding from my mouth.
I still don't quite know what happened exactly, if it was the sleeping policeman that unsettled the very fragile balance of too much weight in the front of the bike or if my friend put her foot in the front wheel by accident which made my bike go into a sudden halt and flip. Result was though that she landed on her bum on the street when I did a fantastic up and over dive through the air and landed head first on the tarmac. All the wallpaper off my face, my hands raw and bloody (I must have put my hands out in a reflex, so for the record I landed head second on the tarmac) and the most horrible thing one of my front teeth had almost half missing.
It was drama all around.. my parents weren't home at the time (out shopping) and of course when they got home were shocked about the state I was in.. I remember my dad wailing 'your teeth, what a pity of your teeth' which really peeved me off at the time as if the rest of me didn't hurt a lot more than my tooth.. little did I know how much I would agree with him later in life!
Anyway... after all my bruises and muscle aches were gone and wall paper grown back it was time for a visit to the dentist. Since we normally only went to the 'school dentist' and I don't think my parents went to any at all (naughty) I was dragged to an unknown butcher somewhere in the heart of Rotterdam. He changed my life forever, in a bad way :) He has given me a crown that was not only the wrong size, color AND shape, he also did a root canal without any anesthetic which for the rest of my days made me terrified of dentists!
That crown has been the bane of my life.. first all the exclamations from everybody (family, teachers, friends) on how awful it was and what a waste of a lovely smile which had a dramatic effect on my self confidence of course. (no nice teeth = ugly) Then the ever lasting issues I had with the damn thing.
First when I was 22 or so it suddenly started hurting an awful lot, went to the surgeon (after the dentist couldn't find anything) who only took a tiny sliver off the back of it because he said I was biting it which made it hurt (which turned out to be true)
First when I was 22 or so it suddenly started hurting an awful lot, went to the surgeon (after the dentist couldn't find anything) who only took a tiny sliver off the back of it because he said I was biting it which made it hurt (which turned out to be true)
Then when I was about 32 the dentist who restored a bit of my trust in dentists said that it should really be renewed because it didn't look nice and was too big and misshapen and the wrong color so I did that and sort of lived happily ever after.
Then at about 40 an abscess started appearing on my gum on top of my crown under my lip, you couldn't see it but I could definitely feel it, it grew bigger all the time until I couldn't ignore it any more and had to go to the jaw surgeon who scraped the root which had inflamed. Strangely enough that wasn't as bad as it sounded (albeit awful of course) but he did say 'it MIGHT make your crown instable'. Oh dear.
Life sort of took over after that, too much to think about, too many things to do and crown took a back seat. Until this summer my niece sent me this picture where you can clearly see not only that I am getting seriously grey haired but most of all the call of the sticking out like a sore thumb crown!!
And now, after my cold, all my teeth hurt with the leader of the pack definitely being this ratchet crown! So.. I ask myself... what now? I have seen too many of those extreme make-over programs I think, where they are in the dentist chair for about 30 seconds and come out with brilliant white even looking shiners. Probably costing about 5000 quid or so.
Then at about 40 an abscess started appearing on my gum on top of my crown under my lip, you couldn't see it but I could definitely feel it, it grew bigger all the time until I couldn't ignore it any more and had to go to the jaw surgeon who scraped the root which had inflamed. Strangely enough that wasn't as bad as it sounded (albeit awful of course) but he did say 'it MIGHT make your crown instable'. Oh dear.
Life sort of took over after that, too much to think about, too many things to do and crown took a back seat. Until this summer my niece sent me this picture where you can clearly see not only that I am getting seriously grey haired but most of all the call of the sticking out like a sore thumb crown!!
And now, after my cold, all my teeth hurt with the leader of the pack definitely being this ratchet crown! So.. I ask myself... what now? I have seen too many of those extreme make-over programs I think, where they are in the dentist chair for about 30 seconds and come out with brilliant white even looking shiners. Probably costing about 5000 quid or so.
So.. the 16th of February is our dentist checkup... think I am gonna be brave and ask for my options..
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Oh dear.. the joys of having divorced parents...
... you get TWO Barbie cakes!
Thinks... when you are 4... can there be such a thing as too many birthday cakes and/or presents anyway?
Maybe not!
Why it is so good to be 4 and celebrate your birthday
See.. that is PROPER birthday celebrations.
My little (now 4 year old niece) LOVED it of course :)
Eatable Barbie... wouldn't have thought there was much fat on the girl, normally.
Can I have the head?
My little (now 4 year old niece) LOVED it of course :)
Eatable Barbie... wouldn't have thought there was much fat on the girl, normally.
Can I have the head?
Lang zal ik leven in de gloria!
Or as John sang it to me 'Langsal mu layfuh in the gloriah'. So considering we don't do anything with our birthdays (which I took one step too far last year when we were on holiday and flying back on Johns birthday and I totally forgot all about it due to pre flying jitters, bless) it was lovely to get my normal cuppa tea in bed but this time with an added candle burning and a McDonald leaflet with 'BOGOFF' vouchers for me to choose from.
It is definately different... I always was this huge fan of birthdays, couldn't get enough of the attention and the presents and everything. I don't quite know when that changed... I suppose it has to do with all these divorces, first my parents, then me and my husband, life gets ever so messy when you try to have a nice birthday but not everybody can come at once because they don't want to see eachother anymore.
Anyway... living with John feels like having a birthday everyday anyway so I am not bothered :). Tea, porridge AND coffee in bed every morning (oh and my lappie so the 'working from home' can commence instantly after waking up, sad...) Many men have told John to stop that sort of behaviour because he ruins it for them, I am so glad he never will though :-)
So... today.. we are going to go to Glasgow to shop and *if* I see a present I will buy it for myself. Different eh? At least you know for sure that what you 'get' is what you want!
It is definately different... I always was this huge fan of birthdays, couldn't get enough of the attention and the presents and everything. I don't quite know when that changed... I suppose it has to do with all these divorces, first my parents, then me and my husband, life gets ever so messy when you try to have a nice birthday but not everybody can come at once because they don't want to see eachother anymore.
Anyway... living with John feels like having a birthday everyday anyway so I am not bothered :). Tea, porridge AND coffee in bed every morning (oh and my lappie so the 'working from home' can commence instantly after waking up, sad...) Many men have told John to stop that sort of behaviour because he ruins it for them, I am so glad he never will though :-)
So... today.. we are going to go to Glasgow to shop and *if* I see a present I will buy it for myself. Different eh? At least you know for sure that what you 'get' is what you want!
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Shock
Djeez.. just thought I had a terrible disease when I did the disgusting but very common 'check my snot' exercise! Since it is running out of my nose at great speed *and* I was in the middle of cleaning my contact lenses having a bit of kitchenpaper handy I thought I would use that to relieve my nose from excess water. Turns out I *wasn't* going to die a horrible death and that the yellow stain I saw after the big blow was actually Bart Simpsons head on the gadget kitchen paper with the Simpsons on (which we bought to flog on eBay but failed so use ourselves.) Phew. Thought I'd share that! :-)
Friday, February 03, 2006
Goodness me.. how I do hate colds!
I forgot how AWFUL it is to not be able to breathe nor sleep properly and to sneeze yourself awake with the most violently painful sneezes! And how there is no tissue in the world that can deal with the amount of water that runs out of my nose constantly. (sorry for sharing)
J had a bit of a laugh at me and said 'are you taking it like a man dear?' which is of course what I always say to him when he is moaning about a simple cold.
I take it all back, honest, it IS irritating.. the level of energy I normally have has now dwindled down to close to nothing. Going to the toilet and coming back to the couch to snuggle up under the quilt is such a big job!
And of course.. food pattern has been interesting again today. Because I am feeling SO sorry for myself I just had to make myself pancakes for lunch (isn't it weird how I always find the energy for that sort of stuff?) I remember ages ago (when I was under 30 ;)) that even though I had a fever and was too sick to go to work I was actually able to go to the supermarket to get some serious comfort food.
Thinks WHY... because my rational side is thoroughly convinced that it doesn't make me feel BETTER but WORSE... instant ratification no doubt, like Chantelle in Big Brother 'I want it now, I want it all'.
Difference is that she won 25000 pounds and an outlook on a million pounds earnings in the near future.
I look at an instant kilo weight addition and another 4 weeks of dieting extra. (because after the pancakes I spotted ice cream which was lovely but I could hear the calories squeek)
Pfah!
Did have an orange.
And broccoli soup left overs. (wonder how much goodness was left in that..)
Oh well... tomorrow we will have our weekly lunch with J's mum and she always makes an effort to squeeze a few vitamines in in the form of salads or stews.
Next week will be better. I am sure :)
J had a bit of a laugh at me and said 'are you taking it like a man dear?' which is of course what I always say to him when he is moaning about a simple cold.
I take it all back, honest, it IS irritating.. the level of energy I normally have has now dwindled down to close to nothing. Going to the toilet and coming back to the couch to snuggle up under the quilt is such a big job!
And of course.. food pattern has been interesting again today. Because I am feeling SO sorry for myself I just had to make myself pancakes for lunch (isn't it weird how I always find the energy for that sort of stuff?) I remember ages ago (when I was under 30 ;)) that even though I had a fever and was too sick to go to work I was actually able to go to the supermarket to get some serious comfort food.
Thinks WHY... because my rational side is thoroughly convinced that it doesn't make me feel BETTER but WORSE... instant ratification no doubt, like Chantelle in Big Brother 'I want it now, I want it all'.
Difference is that she won 25000 pounds and an outlook on a million pounds earnings in the near future.
I look at an instant kilo weight addition and another 4 weeks of dieting extra. (because after the pancakes I spotted ice cream which was lovely but I could hear the calories squeek)
Pfah!
Did have an orange.
And broccoli soup left overs. (wonder how much goodness was left in that..)
Oh well... tomorrow we will have our weekly lunch with J's mum and she always makes an effort to squeeze a few vitamines in in the form of salads or stews.
Next week will be better. I am sure :)
Thursday, February 02, 2006
OK ...things definately looking up!
I am a fan of Nurofen! I think they should take me for their advertising!
After dozing of for a few hours this afternoon and waking up mega sweaty I seem to now feel a little bit better! Even had a shower and got properly dressed! And all that at about 1700 o'clock. Almost not worth it but eh!
Only one day to go to reach the weekend...when I will become 45 years old (*OH NO*)
45! Forty Five!
I remember so clearly when I was about 12, riding my bike (like you do in Holland, not riding a bike on a regular basis is very strange for me, but since I do not have a deathwish nor do I like being sweaty I do not take my bike onto the Scottish roads!) thinking 'Wow in the year 2000 I will be 39' - that sounded so ancient, so impossible to achieve. But there you go.. or better said. here I am.
Of course.. being the boring old farts that J and I are we are going to let it pass without any attention, we MIGHT have a McDonald when we go to Glasgow but only because Mc sent us a leaflet with masses of BOGOFF offers :-) and we might have a look for a juicer, if we can find anything not too expensive but still good... no idea if we will ever use it but I have this thing about healthy eating...
My aunt dared die when she was about 51 because of colon cancer.. the first cancer in our family and it has had a huge effect on me! So of course... everywhere you look you see these things about 'eat healthy and prevent colon cancer by having AT LEAST 2 pieces of fruit and 200/300 grams vegetables a day. And boy do I struggle!
I really believe we eat enormously healthy and are careful with fat, try to incorporate more pulses etc. but if I am really honest and if I would write down my daily intake of things I am pretty sure I would not reach the recommended daily whatever it is....
S'ok.... today I was a bit ill so that doesn't count.
Had glass of concentrated orange juice, milk& porridge with 4 slices of banana (bless his heart), 2 gingernuts, 2 chocolates, cereal with semi skimmed milk, 1 orange, 1 slice of bread, 2 slices of smoke bacon and 2 eggs with 1/16th of a cucumber.
Not a lot overall really but see the absence of veggies? So.. a juicer I hope COULD make it easier.. maybe... Apparently you can juice cucumbers, carrots, oranges and pineapple and it will actually taste nice.. .(hmm.... I am not completely convinced yet) Anyway, it would definately help the daily recommended thingy that is for sure!
Anyway... 45 is cool... I have never felt more 'OK' with myself, I can advise it to anyone, life DOES begin at 40 and only gets better after that.. the only downside is that I feel I am now 'over the hill' and 'others' will look at me as middle aged which is a lot frustrating since believe me... in your head you never grow older, maybe wiser, maybe slower, a LOT less agile but in essence you stay the same 25 year old :-)
After dozing of for a few hours this afternoon and waking up mega sweaty I seem to now feel a little bit better! Even had a shower and got properly dressed! And all that at about 1700 o'clock. Almost not worth it but eh!
Only one day to go to reach the weekend...when I will become 45 years old (*OH NO*)
45! Forty Five!
I remember so clearly when I was about 12, riding my bike (like you do in Holland, not riding a bike on a regular basis is very strange for me, but since I do not have a deathwish nor do I like being sweaty I do not take my bike onto the Scottish roads!) thinking 'Wow in the year 2000 I will be 39' - that sounded so ancient, so impossible to achieve. But there you go.. or better said. here I am.
Of course.. being the boring old farts that J and I are we are going to let it pass without any attention, we MIGHT have a McDonald when we go to Glasgow but only because Mc sent us a leaflet with masses of BOGOFF offers :-) and we might have a look for a juicer, if we can find anything not too expensive but still good... no idea if we will ever use it but I have this thing about healthy eating...
My aunt dared die when she was about 51 because of colon cancer.. the first cancer in our family and it has had a huge effect on me! So of course... everywhere you look you see these things about 'eat healthy and prevent colon cancer by having AT LEAST 2 pieces of fruit and 200/300 grams vegetables a day. And boy do I struggle!
I really believe we eat enormously healthy and are careful with fat, try to incorporate more pulses etc. but if I am really honest and if I would write down my daily intake of things I am pretty sure I would not reach the recommended daily whatever it is....
S'ok.... today I was a bit ill so that doesn't count.
Had glass of concentrated orange juice, milk& porridge with 4 slices of banana (bless his heart), 2 gingernuts, 2 chocolates, cereal with semi skimmed milk, 1 orange, 1 slice of bread, 2 slices of smoke bacon and 2 eggs with 1/16th of a cucumber.
Not a lot overall really but see the absence of veggies? So.. a juicer I hope COULD make it easier.. maybe... Apparently you can juice cucumbers, carrots, oranges and pineapple and it will actually taste nice.. .(hmm.... I am not completely convinced yet) Anyway, it would definately help the daily recommended thingy that is for sure!
Anyway... 45 is cool... I have never felt more 'OK' with myself, I can advise it to anyone, life DOES begin at 40 and only gets better after that.. the only downside is that I feel I am now 'over the hill' and 'others' will look at me as middle aged which is a lot frustrating since believe me... in your head you never grow older, maybe wiser, maybe slower, a LOT less agile but in essence you stay the same 25 year old :-)
My face...
.. feels like a truck has ran over it last night...
Think they call it sinisitus or something, hooray for Sudafed!
It is a brilliant way of knowing where your sinuses are, like.. two under my cheekbones and one on my forehead and focussing on my laptop is proving to be quite difficult.
Did you see that documentary about breastfeeding last night? Basically it showed a few women who breastfed their children way after they got teeth, one of them was 8 and still got 'the boob'.
I always wonder who these families are, the ones that do not own a television, I so wonder what planet they live on and how their children are going to pan out. Does it actually help to become more successful in life if one was breastfed? Would love to ask Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey, I bet they weren't.... nothing like a bit of deprivation to make you want to be better than the rest of the world!
Think they call it sinisitus or something, hooray for Sudafed!
It is a brilliant way of knowing where your sinuses are, like.. two under my cheekbones and one on my forehead and focussing on my laptop is proving to be quite difficult.
Did you see that documentary about breastfeeding last night? Basically it showed a few women who breastfed their children way after they got teeth, one of them was 8 and still got 'the boob'.
I always wonder who these families are, the ones that do not own a television, I so wonder what planet they live on and how their children are going to pan out. Does it actually help to become more successful in life if one was breastfed? Would love to ask Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey, I bet they weren't.... nothing like a bit of deprivation to make you want to be better than the rest of the world!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Well... there we go
Since everybody seems to just HAVE TO HAVE a blog I thought I would join in!
It is a strange thing, I never really understood the use of blogging, why would anyone want to read the things that happen to other people.
Untill.. one day.. there was a little article on BBC news about blogging
Since that day I am hooked... Dooce somehow rings a bell deep down in me, most likely because she is not only showing that motherhood is anything like absolute bliss and that being depressed happens to the best of us!
And now.. it feels like watching my daily soap (which I love as well) to get an insight in someone elses brain without sharing any emotion that it evokes in you I find extremely sexy.
Now .. generally I am extremely (and I mean extremely) bad in doing things on a regular basis. And I expect this to not be any different! I am one of those people who buy multivitamines because that is a good thing, religiously take them for 1 full week (if that lucky) and then forget about them because something else called my attention.
I expect it is undiagnosed ADD myself but have decided that knowing WHAT you have doesn't make it go away.
So.. should you by accident land on this blog don't get used to it coz it comes with NO guarantees!
It is a strange thing, I never really understood the use of blogging, why would anyone want to read the things that happen to other people.
Untill.. one day.. there was a little article on BBC news about blogging
Since that day I am hooked... Dooce somehow rings a bell deep down in me, most likely because she is not only showing that motherhood is anything like absolute bliss and that being depressed happens to the best of us!
And now.. it feels like watching my daily soap (which I love as well) to get an insight in someone elses brain without sharing any emotion that it evokes in you I find extremely sexy.
Now .. generally I am extremely (and I mean extremely) bad in doing things on a regular basis. And I expect this to not be any different! I am one of those people who buy multivitamines because that is a good thing, religiously take them for 1 full week (if that lucky) and then forget about them because something else called my attention.
I expect it is undiagnosed ADD myself but have decided that knowing WHAT you have doesn't make it go away.
So.. should you by accident land on this blog don't get used to it coz it comes with NO guarantees!
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