An eye for an eye

Well... when I was 16 I looked absolutely horrific... you know that part of adolescence where you are not quite 'finished'? I was very chubby (fat of course in my eyes) and I wore glasses that made me look SO ugly it is a good thing I don't have any pictures anymore of that time.

Anyway...... I think my father agreed so he forced me to a contactlens specialist to get contacts, it took me forever to get used to them since the only lenses I could have were the 'hard' ones that let some oxygen through, called Rigid Gas Permeable lenses in English apparently. I must say though, after I got used to them they have done me proud until at some point soft lenses were the vogue and I got to try those. They screwed my eyes up so badly that I wasn't allowed to wear any lenses for over a year and was told that I could never ever have soft lenses again. (bum!)

So.. not a problem, swapped to hard lenses again and have been happy with them ever since. I am a horrible lens wearer though, I have been told from my 16th that I should take them out a few hours before going to bed and a few hours after waking up. Well.. of course when my glasses were still alive I did that, sometimes. When those broke 20 years ago (yep...) I gave up on any glasses on the side. So.. it goes like this: Wake up, open eyes, have wee and insert lenses. (Sorry for that mental picture but wanted to make sure you realise how efficient I am). Same again when I go to bed but then the other way around. Suffice to say I am not very nice to my eyes.

Since it is 6 years or so ago that I got a new pair of lenses (right before we left Holland) they have become more and more difficult to look through comfortably. They are supposed to have 2/3 year lifetime. I also got told off by my brother when I dropped him off at the busstop last time he visited because I mistook a truck for the bus coming, then when I needed the bus myself later I could only see the number when it nearly drove over me. Not so good.

So, I went to Black and Lizars in Greenock for an eyetest which, would you believe, is free! All eye tests in Scotland are free. But wait for it, I understand why now! Pfah...

Anyway, I had to come to my appointment without my lenses in (had to officially not have worn them for 24 hours but Celebrity Big Brother eviction was on so, come on, surely 11 hours will do!) they gave me the once over, tested every eye disease under the sun and it turned out that my eyes had deteriorated with 2 points... I now have 8.50 and 8.25 (minus, for short sightedness). I never really noticed this change myself in daily life (unless trying to read the busnumber) since due to old age I need reading glasses as well and apparently those two factors have levelled eachother out quite nicely as long as I stay inside.

Luckily (in retrospect) I ran out of time so I asked them to call me with a price for the lenses. Now.. when I left Holland I got the pair I have now for about 100 quid including all tests.

So today, the call. And suddenly it became clear how they get the money for that free eyetest back! The pair of lenses would cost me £150 so I thought oh, that is not too bad, even though I have seen them on the internet for £60 including postage, I know that when you buy them in a shop and you had a test and all that it will be more expensive. JUST when I wanted to open my mouth and say 'oh ok then, that is not too bad' she said 'and on top of that there will be £100 for fitting them.'

'Oh', I said all optimistic that would not be for me since I have been wearing lenses for 30 years, I just need a new pair with higher prescription. 'Oh no, you will have to be tested what sort of lenses you need'. 'Huh? I have had to come without my lenses on a special day to meet the contact lens specialist? Who has written it all down? Checked my Curve, axis and everything?' ,'No, that was something different, if you want to buy these you have to be tested all over again'.

WHAT!!! Anyway, I was being British and I said 'OK, I will get back to you'. And that is quite funny about communicating in British. Both of us knowing I was totally pissed off and would never contact them ever again. Ever.

Pfah!

I did a good thing though (since this was my only new year resolution; to take care of my eyes), I ordered with the prescription I got from them (hehe, they are obliged to give you the basic info) a pair of glasses online for only 20 quid. I am sure they will be obnoxious because of their jamjarbottom properties since I of course was too mean to pay for the sexy 'flatter than flat' lenses and because I have ordered minus 7.75 (they didn't have any higher, or lower depends on how you look at it for that price) the jamjarbottom factor will be quite high.

Bought these, but then in black.











Got painfully clear again that I have a huge head. Already knew of course that I have the tendency to be big headed and I had already noticed that hats in general do not fit. And I have had enormous embarrassing moments at the hairdressers in the time that I wanted highlights and the plastic hat didn't want to stay on my head! Got the solution as far as glasses go though, I just check for gents or unisex glasses and pick the one with the biggest bridge, widest frame and longest arm.

I can't wait.... do you know what having glasses on the side again means? That means that if I wake up in the middle of the night I can grab my lenses and read the clock projected on the ceiling, when I then waddle to the kitchen I can see that Johns slippers are in the middle of the hall and prevent tripping and all those scary shadows in the night will suddenly be recognisable as things!

Note to self when wearing glasses: 'Avoid mirrors!'