Back on the Nest

The End

2007-12-07T20:11:00.000Z

This month 6 years ago I moved to Scotland with the love of my life.
I wrote about living in a village, I wrote about more boring stuff that I care to remember.
I wrote about going back to Holland and what to do next after "living happily ever after the Cinderella way" failed.

and now.. I am all written out.

I am happy, I am back, life is good, I get enormous pleasure out of the simplest things in life because I feel I am exactly in the right place at the right time at this time of my life.

If I had problems in the past to think of things to write about in this blog, it has become even harder because of how happy I am with my life now and because of the socially unacceptable way I live my life which makes it impossible for me to share it publically.

I hope that that invoked some nice mental images for you, a dirty mind is a joy forever.

It was fun while it lasted, this period is over, done, dusted, finished and I want rid of this constant niggling feeling of 'should write something because someone might be dissappointed if I don't write for that long'.

Freedom rules! :-) Enjoy! xx Tanja

Leona Lewis - Take a Bow

2007-11-11T14:44:00.000Z

The flowers are faded now, along with your letters
They will never see the light of day, cause I'll never take them out
There's no turning back, it's for the better
Baby I deserve more then empty words and promises
I believed every thing you said, and I gave you the best I had

So take a bow, 'cause you've taken everything else
You played the part, like a star you played it so well
Take a bow, 'cause the scene is coming to an end
I gave you love, all you gave me was pretence, so now take a bow

The future's about to change, before you know it,
The curtain closes, take a look around,
There's no one in the crowd, I'm throwing away the pain,
And you should know that your performance made me strong enough

So take a bow, 'cause you've taken everything else
You played the part, like a star you played it so well
Take a bow, 'cause the scene is coming to an end
I gave you love, all you gave me was pretence, so now take a bow

Well it must have been sleight of hand, 'cause I still can't understand
Why I could never see, just what a fool believes
But the lies they start to show, tell me how does it feel to know right now
That I wont be around, so baby before I put you out

Take a bow, 'cause you've taken everything else
You played the part, like a star you played it so well
Take a bow, 'cause the scene is coming to an end
I gave you love, all you gave me was pretend till now, so take a bow

Lights are on, but nobody is home

2007-11-04T19:23:00.000Z

Well..

Talking about challenging...

Last week I had one of my dates in Amsterdam, one of those 'from another planet' dates. I love those other planets so that was not the problem. The planet I visit with this guy is one of the exciting kind, one where you get out of your normal slacks put on a sexy skirt with some holdups and sexy heels. Well... we aim to please after all!

Interesting detail is of course that my office is in Amsterdam, I hardly ever go there since I am a homeworker and who would want to be in traffic for about 4 hours a day? So not me. BUT.. when one has a date in the same city the office is in, suddenly it seems to make sense.

So.. I took all my sexy gear and stuffed it in a rucksack to get changed in at the end of the day. Took my lovely little Peugeot and went on my merry way to Amsterdam, it is almost weird to drive, I hardly do it, I am just too happy being able to cycle and I try to do that when it is dry (happens so much here!). Amsterdam is a tad too far though. The trip went great, went through a tunnel with those signs 'put on your lights' so I was being really obedient and then got distracted by the big planes everywhere must be Schiphol close.

Parked the car on the parkingdeck, used my park pass for the first time and felt so part of it all and jumped out of the car ready for a (can you feel a.. ) brand new day :-)

Anyway, after having had a great socially productive day, quickly wind forward to the end of it.

So.. I squeezed myself into my ever so tight skirt, ripped a holdup, cursed, got too hot in the small toilet cubicle but still after applying some makeup I thought I looked as good as it was going to get and took my sexy ass hiding under my very sensible wintercoat outside, praying I wouldn't bump into a colleague who would spot I changed from sensible slacks into sexy pins and get all sort of interesting mental images I didn't want to be a part of.

Humming 'I feel pretty' I half danced (yeah right, not on those heels I tell ya!) to the car, pressed my remote central locking security thing and NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!!

OH MY GOD.. pressing frantically now and thinking about my date who was waiting for me about 15 minute drive from where I was and couldn't get to now.

I suddenly didn't feel the cold anymore at all and started to look around trying to charm anyone into jump starting me. No chance though.. I think I must have asked about 50 colleagues but they all didn't have jumpleads. Normally I would have thought they just didn't want to help me but I got the idea that my attire did provide the motivation but they just didn't have the means due to all their cars being lease cars and them telling me 'just call the lease company' :-)

Pushing wasn't an option either because of the immobiliser that is in the car too so there was nothing left to do but call the AA and come clean with mr Date.

Not nice.. but.. I must say, they were both wonderful, mr AA said I am coming to save you and mr Date told me that he would come to keep me company while waiting since there was more traffic than I have even ever seen before.

It took about a very long half hour but then first mr AA made me very happy by starting my car up again and just when I thought I would have to drive about a 1000 times around the car park mr Date arrived, stepped into the car and made it all better.

I will leave the rest of the mental images all to your own dirty minds. :-)

Note to self, ask brother to repair 'lights on' warning sound.

Ships that pass in the night

2007-10-28T20:50:00.000Z

What a day...

It was great, today was sauna day.

Every once in a while, about 3 times a year my friend and I visit the sauna.
Oh no.. immediately drop any idea about 1 cabin and 1 swimmingpool.. this is more a sauna experience than just sauna.

This sauna has about 20 different cabins with sauna's and steamrooms of all different temperatures, herbs, humidity etc, there is something for everybody.

After each ritual of getting really hot and then really cold it is fantastic to sit in the leisure room and chill while drinking a nice glass of wine (bit naughty of course, should be only water or juice but eh, it is just so nice and decadent to drink alcohol in your bathrobe :-)) and have some good food.

And that is when it happened... quite close to me a nice young man (well I would class him as a boy really although he would probably not agree) looking very much like Brad Pitt, I could hardly keep my eyes off him but of course pretended to read the very boring magazine I had in my hands.

Luckily we were unable to find someone to bring us that nice glass of alcohol (in his case a beer which made him even more of a real man, all the Brad Pitt vibes vibrated even louder, amazing what things can have that effect) so we had something to moan about together, always nice to start up conversation.

He was absolutely fascinating.. talk about other planets... after his story about how he broke his leg in 15 places while snowboarding and caught in an avalanche I told him about being so proud that I could actually make it from point A to point B without hurting myself. He then shared how he loved parapenting (when I of course had to ask what that was) and waveboarding (well knew that one) so I shared my absolute hate for anything even close to sport.

As you can tell we were bonding nicely in the nothing in common whatsoever but blimey you are sexy sort of way.

Anyway he also said he was married and had a little baby.

Damn.

So.. we went our marry way. I thought.

My friend and I went to get our towels and I bumped into him. Phew.. hot in here...

Then we went into a sauna and 2 minutes later he followed, it was hot already but add Brad Pitt and it was really smouldering. Of course.. with his robe off he was even more perfect than I had imagined and felt VERY self conscious about my rubanesk figure sprawled all over the wooden bench trying to pretend I didn't notice him.

Well... I think it wouldn't have been more obvious if somebody would have shouted 'those 2 fancy eachother'. My goodness.. chemistry galore!

After a nice cold shower, one has to follow the rituals after all, I thought there you go, never gona see him again (after all, this sauna is more busy than Alton Towers in summer, the chance that you meet somebody twice or in this case thrice is not THAT big with so many different saunas available), lets go for my massage and forget it.

OK.. this is quite easy to guess isn't it.. how energies sometimes move together even if they don't want to? I walk to the massage department and bump into him again.. thank God he had his robe on that time. We were standing about 2 cm apart saying what a pity it was but that I was going home after the massage and all I could think was 'I really want to touch you now' which made making conversation quite hard. Told him thanks for the nice talks we had and he told me it was a pity I had to go. Yeah right!!

Pfff...

So.. surely that was it? I had a nice massage and went home.

Sure.. unfortunately that was actually it.. apart from the fact that right before I really went into the lockerroom to get dressed again I bumped into him AGAIN and I started to think that Eric or whoever was just having a laugh today.

This time all we could do really is look eachother in the eye and in my case think of what could be if I would just say my name and tell him I am on facebook.

Didn't though.. of all the ships that pass in the night.. he was one I would have loved to take a cruise on, with, in, under? Oh whatever... never gona happen... just sweet dreams...

Did I tell you he graduated at uni as a shipbuilder? :-)

Living with Kevin..

2007-10-22T08:10:00.001+01:00

...is fascinating.

He gives me such an interesting insight in a man's brain.

On a daily basis he tells me:

'Mum, I am a man, we do not understand subtle hints'

if I say things like 'Is there any cola left' :-)

How did he know I really meant 'can you get me some' :-)

I thought my communication was generally quite direct but I suppose I got Brittified! In Britland it is not done to be that direct I felt so my communication has become a bit more gentle, a bit more beating around the bush.

Kevin re-teaches me the Dutch way and I love it, there is nothing more healthy than to live with someone that age where they start to develop their own view of the world but still have those childlike properties like blatant honesty. It does help of course that he has my genes.

Anyway, beware, no more pussyfooting around, no more subtle hints, just... straight talking :-)

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft

2007-10-20T16:29:00.000+01:00

Well...

I have met the guy on the other planet.

VERY interesting indeed.

The conclusion is that it so does not matter if what you both want is the same, which I am happy to say was the case between us. :-)

Having said that.. I do think the level of feeling that you are walking on eggshells is a bit higher.

What I notice is that it almost feels like each planet use their own dictionary where words or phrases mean almost the same but not quite. A bit like a dialect where you can understand eachother most of the time but 20% of the time you need to ask 'what did you say' and in this case there was a lot of 'what do you mean by that' or 'why did that remark invoke that reaction' :-)

But also, fascinating, it is great to be able to take a peek in a world that is so not mine, where money is no object and a different 5 star hotel in another city each week a normality and to realise that the life I always thought would be so great because of the status, freedom and the decadence can actually be quite lonely and boring.

As he put it.. a room is a room, a bed is a bed and sometimes the desk is a bit nicer than in the other room but it is just a place to sleep. The novelty of the little shampoos, bath-gels and showercaps wears off very quickly as well apparently (can't imagine that so guess who is a lucky girl :-)) and personally I would get very frustrated of all the waiting for trains, planes and automobiles.

We are enjoying the intergalactic sharing though and I am enjoying every second.

So... Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft I am, I want to have peeks on more planets, it is good fun!

Resumes can be put into the comments of this blog.

Apprehension

2007-10-12T20:35:00.000+01:00

This internetdating is good fun you know.

But.. it does make a person slightly emotional unstable because of all the excitement :-)

It is almost time for another 'first time' meeting.

And this time it is as scary as exciting since this guy seems to come from another planet.

Did I tell you about my other planet theory? Generally you meet people because you for instance work at the same job, attend the same school, have your kids at the same school etc.
Most of the time when you meet new people in those areas of life you sort of know and understand them, they do jobs you can identify with (they work in just another office for instance and when they say their jobtitle you think oh yeah, heard of that). Maybe sometimes you will see people that are a bit different but then they do something you understand like make art and you can't help think 'loser'. :-)

And then sometimes.. you just meet someone and even though you have a nice conversation you think 'I can't seem to get onto your planet', their experiences in the world are then so different from yours that you just can't seem to identify but also can't walk away because it is as fascinating as it is weird.

I know that John and I suffered from that, people would look into our lives and we would just feel they could not get onto our planet. We know for a fact that we have been called weirdo's because of that which always made us titter because for us the way we lived was just right. But yeah, different from most.

:-)

So.. this newest internet dating meeting is going to be with a guy that I just can't grasp. I mean I am clever enough to understand what he actually does and where he comes from but I feel that when we talk we really really like eachother but also can't quite place eachother because we have never met somebody like us.

So I think.. this can go two ways can't it, we either love eachother to bits and can't stop sharing so we get a link between those planets or we look at eachother and think 'you're weird'.

Scary.. because then.. what do you do if you have been writing for months digitally and shared deep emotions (and things!) and look at eachother in real life and think weirdo? Do you grab yourself in the neck and say 'get over yourself, get to know the guy, you know he is nice'. Or do you say 'sorry, I don't feel the connection, I am going home'?

Or doesn't it matter anymore this actual physical meeting when you have connected in the mind?

So many questions, so few answers until it has actually happened of course :-)

Well... if nothing else this is going to be a very interesting social experiment!

Sex is in the air - Revisited

2007-10-04T20:58:00.001+01:00

While I was on my traumatic holiday there was this very interesting subject floating around in my blog and I was begging the count (the voice of reason) to give it to me straight.

You see.. the count is a very irritating personality. With much too much insight in life and the people in it and the obnoxious habit of always cutting straight to the point and telling the naked truth. When I say naked, I mean naked. More honest than drunks or 3 year olds really. Scary.

He is famous for saying things like 'yeah I know you stopped smoking but god you did balloon' and 'are you sure she is your husbands she doesn't look like him'. The kind of remarks that stop a conversation and make people look meaningful at eachother while he looks blankly ahead seemingly oblivious to the impact of his remarks.

So.. knowing this, it is sometimes very handy to get a right honest answer instead of the PC (politically correct) one.

So.. when I said this about men wanting sex:

And I thought.. is this normal? Is this really what goes on in a man's mind even when I think they are genuinely interested in who I am and what I have to say?

And begged for a comment he sure delivered but I feel due to my holiday this got a bit snowed under whereas I think it has such valuable information in it. A *real* insight into a mans brain!
(Mind you, lets not forget this is the counts brain, I would be very interested in any other male opinions on this subject) Here goes, comments in red are mine:

OK, the voice from the Q continuum says this.

No, don't worry. This condition only impacts male mathematical geniuses with tendencies towards the schizophrenic - in Latin I believe it's called Nash-us John-eus. All other men desperately want to hear of your career at Douglas Rain, your family......your plans for DIY in the home......generally they want nothing more than to listen to your HD&A

So, I would love to know what HD&A is!

Applying the sarcasm filter to this paragraph.. you are saying they are just humouring me right?! In a "uh-uh, oh really, that is interesting" sort of way?

Or at least that's what I thought (must just be me!) until reading the headline in today's De Murphgraaf; 'EXCLUSIVE - MEN WANT SEX!' it screamed out in a shocking expose on the male of the species. What new findings will they discover next?

;-)

Yeah, thought so...

Each man is of course different but generally I would say the 'want sex' condition is always there. The extent to which it's apparent to you is determined by the ability of each male to rise above their genetics + hormones. Which is easier for some than others (depending on their own particular balance of intelligence/consciousness vs physical desire).......though there are also those who would rather just not even have to try to rise above it eg the internet dudes you refer to may fall into this category.

OK.. the want sex condition always being there is OK, I suppose I have that too although I can suppress it quite well with copious amounts of chocolate. :-) Age seems to be a factor in this as well.... the younger they are the worse they are in hiding the fact. The older they get the better they are in hiding the WANT SEX NOW feeling. The worrying thing is that here it says that the WANT SEX NOW is always there in the same fashion that only the filter in front of it changes. Hmmm....

In theory, declining levels of testosterone as the male get older should lead to some change in attitude and behaviour. Though I wouldn't really say this can be guaranteed...can you? ;-).

Well, I know from raw experience that age has nothing at all to do with it. That sex, especially NEW YOUNG body sex definitely triggers the WANT SEX NOW AT ALL COST button. Because I do think that has something to do with it hasn't it? The fierceness of the underlying WANT SEX NOW has to do with the newness of the object of passion hasn't it?

Or perhaps this 'it's how we are hard wired to be' reasoning is just a man-ist conspiracy intent on maintaining cave man type behaviour and convincing females that they can never hope for much of a change in this.

Neh I am sure that this is hardwired.. I have seen too many examples in my life :-) You poor souls can't help it.

What I don't understand though is why it is apparently such a taboo. If I would have known this straight out when I was say 16 or so I would have acted differently. I believed all that romance and being interested crap. Tsk! What a waste.

I think next encounter I will just say 'Shall we just skip the small talk and get to business' because I do believe one can have more meaningful conversations AFTER the event. Ahem. Sorry for the BMI moment children.

Or would that be too forward.. do we women have to pretend to not notice because we are hardwired to do so? Is it too threatening if a woman says 'ok, I know you are just talking to me because you want to have sex, so why don't we?' Would that take away the lust because the 'men are hunters' hardwiring is taken away?

Maybe the increasing amounts of Oestrogen being pumped into the environment will lead to some change in all of this over several decades.......don't think we are really seeing such an impact from this at the moment.......however, it might be in some way responsible for the degradation in the quality of male sperm.
Cavemen will be cavemen and as far as I am concerned that is absolutely fine. I approve of all those natural patterns as long as on the side I can do what I like to do. I think we need to start an awareness session though to awake women around the world to the fact that men really just want sex. I will make life so much more clear.

(All the comments due to jetlag I cut out, they can be read in the original comment. )
Thought I would leave this in though :-)

DISCLAIMER
The cynicism in the above comments in no way reflect the actual behaviour of Monsieur Dantès. He is a gentleman to the core.

And so you are. I know you would never just talk to a woman because you want sex.

Would you?

Whats love got to do with it

2007-10-02T21:58:00.001+01:00

You know...

I think I have done it all wrong all my life.

You know this joke about women always waiting for a better train to come along and then missing out on nice experiences?

It is a lie! My experience is that we find someone, project our future on him and say MINE, I am done, lets have babies and live happily ever after.

The world changes though when you are not looking for a life partner to be forever happy with.

If you are just looking for 'love' and attention life gets a different color.

I put love between apostrophes because I start to seriously wonder what love is! You can not fall in love with someone within a few days can you? And surely love at first sight should be relabeled LUST at first sight right?

So.. if we got all that sorted out.. if love doesn't exist and all we experience in the beginning of a relationship is lust, why do we (women I think) then tend to stick to that one person immediately? At least that is what I have always done in the past.

I understand though, I think nature does that a bit in a 'find a man, procreate' sort of way.

And maybe that is where the difference is now, I have done my bit for nature, finished, got me the t-shirt and I am so not looking for longevity.

I now live according to the rule that what walks my path I will try. Mind you, trying can be in many different forms, mailing, dating, other activities I will not talk about to protect our smaller readers and things.

And I know that a few posts back I said something about how many mediocre men exist, I take it back, I actually ran into quite a few nice ones who all seem to be attracted by my 'I don't really want you always but just for fun' attitude.

It is a different ball game..

THIS was what they meant when they say play hard to get. From the moment I didn't want to be gotten (erhm is that English even!) I have been hunted, and it is so much fun!

So girls.. my advice.. let go of the idea that you are on the dating market for the goal you want to achieve, but look at it as an ongoing shopping spree where you know you want the first dress you saw but still go to 10 other shops to find something better, you can do it with clothes, why not with men!?

Disclaimer: Any anti male sentiment that can be derived from this post lives merely in your own imagination. I want the record to show I love men. And I love them to be hunters. Let the games begin.

Yes!

2007-09-30T08:00:00.000+01:00

We still have it!

Very interesting really...

He and I have had dancinglessons about 30 years ago and we loved it, we got quite good at it and then life happened.

As always when splitting up I thought everything about him was rubbish and awful but only a few years later I knew that I would never find a dance partner like him anymore.

Dancing well is difficult you know, especially for a man. It is not just the ability to feel and understand rythm, it is also the leading the lady that is important and there are not many men that can do that.

So last night, after 20 years or so we gave it a go again and honestly, without arrogance, we felt like we were in Strictly Come Dancing, amazing that we could still share that together. We attracted a lot of attention again, probably also because the moves we made are very old fashioned :-)

We talked a lot about what it was that made it feel so special and came to the conclusion that in order to really dance properly you need to not be afraid to emotionally and physically connect, ballroom dancing was invented I think to allow men and women to 'be' together and that should still show from the dancing.

It was a great experience and we will most certainly do it again, maybe even learn a new sexy dance like ArgentineTango or something.

For all those men out there on the pull... take dancing lessons, become a master and learn how to lead a woman, you will never be without a date again.

Weekend after THE weekend

2007-09-29T10:43:00.000+01:00

What a difference...

7 days ago I was a blubbering mess walking over and over again on the beaches of Wemyss Bay thinking how on earth I could have been so gullable.

Today Scotland feels so far away. Almost like it never happened.

Isn't the brain interesting?

The older I get, the more I realise that 'getting over things' is about making new memories.

Mind you.. it doesn't take the pain away, it is there, dull and throbbing instead of harsh and spikey because of the addition of nice memories. Nice new people. Nice new experiences.

I have enrolled in a choir which has the cutest ever conductor (conductresse?) who radiates such brilliancy, fun and sensuality that I started wondering if I was indeed fully heterosexual (sorry for the people who think they are having a TMI moment here). Oh and the singing was great too, it is one of those very social choirs where afterwards we all have a very cheap glass of wine and talk about nothing. Amazing how much fun you can have by talking about nothing.

I met a few new people who most definitely distracted me from anything in the world I might feel pain about and sofar living with Kevin to my own surprise has been nothing else but good fun. What a guy.. I would love to take some credit for him turning out like this but he keeps on telling me it has nothing at all to do with me and his dad, that his personality has been solely created by him. Love to have that conversation again with him when he is my age. :-)

Tonight he, his girlfriend and his father will come to dinner. His father and I will go out ballroom/latin dancing for old time sake, see if we can still make people stop and stare as we used to. Tomorrow morning Kevins girlfriend is performing at her church and I will go and have a look, it can't hurt a bit of divine addition to my life.

And today... all feels normal again, my new normal.

Not jumping out of bed in the middle of the night to be in Tesco at the crack of dawn but gently wake up, making cup after cup of Redbush tea and coffees, eating Dutch food and flopping in bed with the laptop watching the first episodes of the new season of House and Ugly Betty. Only contemplating between getting dressed and do shopping or flop a bit longer and have a long hot soapy bath and then do some shopping.

It is quiet, except of course for the gentle hum of the fan in my laptop and if I listen really well the flat and city noises, doors closing, heels clicking, neighbours talking, traffic zooming, metros racing but all is right with the world. This is where I belong.

Scotland was a great retraite, it did me good. Thanks for all who participated but today I am leaving it all behind..

Fires galore

2007-09-27T08:17:00.000+01:00

How weird is this?

My BAC manager had a fire in his house a few weeks ago which didn't actually burn a lot bot blackened his entire house. Soot and smoke damage it was called.

What I didn't know (nor he) is that soot is an acid and eats away into everything and anything and is toxic. It meant that his entire house has to be professionally cleaned, all the furniture out to be cleaned, all his clothes and soft furnishings to the cleaner and he had to get out of his house for a few weeks and is still trying to get over it.

So.. when I was on holiday and didn't hear from Kevin who was taking care (oh dear, for those of you who know Kevin that was a very brave thing to do indeed :-)) of my house I got a bit uncomfortable and asked my mum if she knew how they were.

Well... I felt it right.. thank God there was nothing the matter with my house but the house Kevin and his dad lived in has had a fire because of an ignored frying pan! Would you believe they had the same issue as my manager?

Everything needs to be taken out and cleaned, painted again etc. So my house has been used as a shelter for a week while I was away and guess who has stayed to live with me until it is all taken care of?

Yeah.. :-) My little boy.

It is really ehm.. interesting to see my nice girly princesses house turned into a more male environment with BIG shoes, BIG coats, BIG computer, BIG smells, BIG mess really which is luckily contained in the jungle. Loads of testosteron floating around all of a sudden.

But.. it is lovely too.. a rebonding session after 6 years of Scotland, he is priceless... :-)

I think

2007-09-23T23:09:00.000+01:00

I should come with a label:

'Warning - Can get bitchy when betrayed'

:-)

Wemyss Bay revisited

2007-09-22T21:35:00.000+01:00

Gosh.. how one visit can change your world.

I knew it was never going to be easy.

But that was such an understatement.

The beach was still there, soothing as always. Thank God.

The house was still there but it wasn't mine and I wasn't allowed in.

Apparently my mere being in the vincinity was too much to cope with, Wicked Witch of the West, me.

Amazing...

Very good for closure.. it is a good thing that that was the real reason I went.

Never seen a more perfect example of make your bed now lie in it.

Time to make my own bed with nice smooth shiny sexy sheets and lie in it trying to reclaim what is left of me and discover life after 'the one'....

How to convince a woman to have sex with you

2007-09-08T22:22:00.000+01:00

NOT!

I was looking through all these profiles on the internet and thinking to myself , "Look at all these poor, desperate, lonely women"... and I saw your profile and thought to myself "hey here is a poor, desperate, lonely woman that is actually CUTE".
So I thought I would write and see if you are as interesting on the inside as you are in the picture. Email me and if I found that you are interesting woman, I might write back.

I mean, COME ON!!

He made me giggle though, always nice to be called cute but what does he think he can achieve by calling me poor, desperate and lonely :-D

So.. well.. instead of pressing REPLY I pressed DELETE, how sad.

Apart from that... 3 leads at the moment and going strong.

To be fair.. I think a few entries ago I moaned about the amount of mediocre and stupid men and that is true.. there are many (ratio of 150:3 ish) but the ones that I have found now are definitely not stupid and definitely not mediocre so.. well done guys.. lets see where this goes. :-)

Rock4 - Last Night

2007-09-03T22:27:00.000+01:00

Last Night

Last night you were so into it
You told me secrets that
You've never told a soul
You were so nervous and
yet oh so comfortable
As we explored your image of love
I drank your wine
As you taste mine
I kissed your lips
You felt my mind slip
Into your soul
I almost cried 'cause it was so beautiful

[Refrein:]
Last night
I was inside of you
Last night
While making love to you
I saw the sun, the moon
The mountains and the rivers
I saw heaven when I made sweet love to you

Last night, there was no planning it
It was so special and
So very innocent
We talked of memories
Our favorite fantasies
As we explored our visions of love
Deep in the night
Right by the fireside
I felt the candlelight
In your soul
You felt incredible
I started to explode
I almost cried 'cause it was so beautiful

[Refrein]

Sunlight, red roses
The scent of you, it calms the heart
The sight of you, I fall apart
Moonlight, the things we notice
When we're in love, that's when it comes
And I'm so in love, I'm so in love

Sex is in the air

2007-08-29T20:20:00.000+01:00

What is going on today!!!

There is this datingsite I browse around (as I have mentioned before) and I must say the last days the interest in me has died down, I think to be honest, that only fresh meat is looked at so, for anyone considering this, make the most of the first few days.

Today seems to be a different day though.. I suddenly got 3 different 'I am interested' mails all from young guys, and when I say young I mean YOUNG, like 23, 25 and 21!! All saying that they love older women and want to have sex with me. Like.. TONIGHT.. and that they would give me massages and all that.. first I thought they were a team of friends but I checked their profiles and they seem to be for real..

Unfortunately my system is not working like that.. I tried to tell one of them that if you want to have sex with an older woman you have to at least pretend to be able to hold a conversation and be interested. He didn't really see the point and said that he has done this with many older women on that site.

And I think .. is this the new way for singles having sex? Just get a nice juicy guy from the internet for a quick fix? I wondered if today there was an article in some newspaper about this because 3 within one evening is a bit weird!

So just when I thought 'oh well it was fun' I started watching the movie 'A Beautiful Mind' in which the following scene took place:

Nice (though of course weird man) sits across woman in bar and says nothing.
Woman looks all helpful and says: "maybe you would like to buy me a drink"
Man says softly while he bends over towards her: "I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me but can we assume that I have said all that because we are basically speaking about fluid exchange aren't we so can we go straight to the sex"

And I thought.. is this normal? Is this really what goes on in a man's mind even when I think they are genuinely interested in who I am and what I have to say?

One wonders...

:-)

If only the count wasn't on holiday, he would tell me straight.

Or... does age matter in this area? In which case the count would not represent all age groups.. need to find a few older ones as well... I will keep this under review and let you know if I find out! In the meantime all insights into this subject are gratefully received!

Children

2007-08-25T22:15:00.000+01:00

Or just the one really..

I just want the record to show that I have the best kid in the whole wide world.

It is absolutely amazing how that child has conquered all that life has thrown at him and he is only 22.

First his parents divorced when he was 4 (and he remembers every second of the moment we told him) then he had to sit through all my and Tons partners which I tell you was an ordeal.
Many babysitters, my mum with an alcoholic boyfriend, a dubious sister in law, then thank God professional afterschool care who did all the things with him normal parents should have done.
Then finally when all should have gone normally his mum packs up to go to Scotland and the stepmum he adored committed suicide. And that all before he was 19.

Tonight.. he and his girlfriend (10 months already, they are so proud) came to visit. And honestly.. if I would have been so together at 22 my life would have been a lot different.

He has grown up. Task finished and even though I think I did a crap job as far as jobs go, he turned out absolutely fabulous, he has managed to give all happenings meaning and sees already what he has learned from it and is grateful for me to give him the ability to see these lessons.

And he can love and can allow to be loved.. what more do you want for your child really?

He is getting his life together, is changing from being an angry reactive adolescent to a pro-active grownup who is telling his mum she should accept herself fully, that it is time and I find myself asking him.. my little boy, how he suggests doing that - world on its head.

He is starting a new college education in 2 weeks.. to do with life what he really wants, working with groups of young people and make them enthusiastic for whatever he feels they should do.

I am bursting with pride.. He is going to be OK, whatever happens. What a relief. I didn´t screw him up totally after all.

Thank God. And Kevin.

Decisions & Actions

2007-08-22T16:44:00.000+01:00

Well.. after intentions come decisions and then actions.

So, since I have my intentions clear, being.. I want some more testosteron in my life but only for a fling or some 'Living Apart Together' arrangement I thought I would enroll myself in one of those hilarious dating sites. I mean.. what harm can it do right? Masses of people must be in the same situation and rather than waiting for someone to approach me on the street saying 'gosh I would like to LAT with you' I thought I would narrow it down to men who are actually looking for someone new in their life.

Man!! Talk about inspiration for a blog!

Anyway, one step at a time...

First.. my profile.. of course.. I put myself in there as 46 and overweight, rather under promise and over deliver I thought, in my profile I described myself as follows (all in Dutch of course which might not always translate properly, hope you use your imagination as to what I might have meant :-))

I am a cheerful, spontaneous, self aware rubens woman who after 3 long (however beautiful) relationships has decided to just want to live apart together. I look for someone who shares the same sentiment, who wants to keep his own place but does have a need for some romantic interaction. I am very interested in personal development and like to view my life as a project. I work for an IT company implementing new projects which gives balance to my spiritual side. I like cycling, cooking, going out to dinner (basically all things during which you can have good conversation)

Well.. not too bad I thought, succinct and hopefully attracting the right people.

RIGHT!!!!

Want to have a look at 'the right people' who thought that I would fit their life beautifully?

What!!?? I mean.. come on!!

And I am sure, really absolutely sure that these are very nice men, honest!

I find it a bit depressing..one of them told me that their wife left them beause she was ill and all he could do to help her was cook and that wasn't enough and that now he can only get around by using a rollator or a scootmobile thing. Not even sure you have those in the UK, here everybody who even has a little bit of a problem with walking buy one of those, like a scooter (or a chair pretending to be a scooter) which goes really slow. Anyway..

After a few of those contacts luckily there were a few that were a bit more normal, higher educated and who sounded actually nice. Although K warned me that they probably only looked nice because of the comparison with the rollator guys.

I comfort myself with the idea that the real problem here is that these people do not have an accurate sense of self so can't even begin to realise that their self would most likely not fit mine!!

To be fair.. it is all good fun.. because my profile after 1 day!!! has been watched 600 times and I have had 60 'I am interested type of contacts'.

Amazing to see though that so many men look for something on the side.. of course when I wrote my profile I didn't realise that it would be fantastically attractive for that purpose.

I think my first question to ask will have to be, 'will you be able to celebrate Christmas with me', how is that for a bottom line question. Mind you, I wouldn't even want to but I am sure that it would make absolutely clear where I would sit in the bigger picture!

Well .. I just had to share, and I really apologise for anyone reading this and being offended by me putting their picture in my blog but since it is public domain information (www.lexa.nl) I thought as long as I didn't say who they were it would be ok!

I will definitely keep you informed of any further developments, for now I will keep on ploughing through their profiles as long as I can stand it, I find it amazing how many stupid and/or mediocre men exist. (No offence guys, the readers of this blog know I hold them in high regard)

Disappointment

2007-08-20T20:44:00.000+01:00

Well...

I will live, I promise...

Life can be such a disappointment sometimes...

You know how I love to watch all those 'kick someone out each week' kind of programmes?

Well.. I knew from last year when I was here for the xFactor final that that format was very similar to the one I saw in the UK. I think the UK version was much better though because of the fighting of the famous judges, the Dutch ones didn't reach the same emotion I think. It wasn't as huge a success here as xFactor is in the UK.

Anyway!

Remember there was also one where Andrew Lloyd Webber chose a 'Maria' for the Sound of Music musical they wanted to produce? And this year they looked for Josef and his coat?

Well.. we have that too now but then looking for Evita, absolutely brilliant in itself but only now it becomes apparent how one gets cheated with those programmes.

It was all so exciting with the search for Maria which was the first one. You saw the audition episode and a very worried Andrew Lloyd Webber saying to everybody how worried he was that there wasn't enough talent to go around and how this whole idea would blow up in his face.

And of course.. silly me, the exact same thing, even the exact same setting was repeated when I was watching the Dutch version of this programme and the Dutch musical mogul was looking worried and was saying that it would be merely impossible to find someone out of those people auditioning.

I must admit... it takes the shine of the whole thing.

Is this the first step to being cured?

Hope not.

Intentions

2007-08-13T16:21:00.000+01:00

The following comment deserved a whole new entry I thought!!

This was one line from my diatribe from yesterday and the comments in black are from the most appreciated Edmond Dantes - the man who is responsible for the remark 'Tell her I miss her cleavage' instead of saying to a visiting friend 'tell her I said 'hi''

It says a lot about me of course that I find that by far the most hilarious remark so far this year.

Anyway, onto deeper places:

Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now

But do you actually have to take up a fixed mental position on this?

Is it not better to keep an open mind...just take things as they come and judge any prospective relationship on it's own merits?

Sure, you are enjoying your independence at the moment (and an independent spirit is to be encouraged!) But if you meet the 'right' guy (rather than the so called 'dream' guy!) then you might feel like you want to share your independence a bit.

I don't believe that living with someone means you must lose your freedoms of thought, expression....and the guilty pleasures such as Big Brother ;-) Not as long as it's the right relationship and you are both willing to keep working at it. Though obviously some level of compromise is required at times....but hey, you can sacrifice X Factor surely? ;-)

Anyway, it's all hypothetical right now....all being well, you'll be on this rock for some time yet....why rush to final judgment?

Nothing is ever final in my life.. I think I have proved that!

So, let me ask you one question, how long and with how many people have you lived together? Apart from your parents of course?

:-)

yeah....

And... then maybe I should be clear to any other readers (not that I think there are any though) that I am about 20 years older than the public that reads this blog :-)

I don't want to smash any dreams for your future of course but in my experience adapting (and not watching xFactor are you mad!!) is becoming harder and harder the older I get!

My first relationship was easy (19-30), I didn't ever even think about things I coudn't do, it just wasn't an issue.. (mind you that could very well have to do with the fact that I didn't know who I was or what I wanted ;-)) - The second was a bit harder (30-38) but that was also due to his challenging characteristics, the third one (40-46) was easy again BUT the best one of all where it comes to living and sharing together was that one with myself (38-40) :-)

I will always go for love.. at least.. that is what I have done so far... but I am a bit tired of building up again after every relationship, lucky for me I stayed in the same house after relationship break up number 2 but I have redecorated a house on my own 3 times now and had to build it up from scratch because I so wanted this living together thing to work.

So..what is there against having your own pad, having your own life but still share whatever you do/achieve in that life with somebody else who has the same feeling? I am sure there must be men around as well who are happy with their own life and habitat but do miss that romantic interaction every now and then?

I think it has something really romantic to see each other only when you really want to.

My dream is to meet someone in the flat here.. that would be really great.. watch xFactor together, hop into bed and then decide if you want to sleep over or rather go back to your own bed because you need to get up early in the morning. I could SO see that work :)

Is my judgment final?

Hmm.. not sure.. for now, yes.

I believe life is all about intentions.. I believe that if you are not clear in your mind and spirit about what you want, no force can deliver (be it Eric, God, Universe or whoever you think is responsible)

So.. that is why I sent this into the world.. hoping to attract nice, strong men who love xFactor and their own pad as much as I love mine!

Life after "happily ever after"

2007-08-12T20:46:00.000+01:00

Of course...

Even though life here is absolutely fantastic and I believe I am walking the path I was meant to walk I have moments I struggle to take it all in.

Like what the f*ck happened to me?

Only 6 years ago I made a life changing decision to move to Scotland with the man of my dreams.. I felt so deeply for the man... (and still do, lets be very clear about that) I remember talking to him through email ... like 10.000 mails in 3 years ;-)) and thinking "this is it, if they throw us in a cave and we never see anyone else again it will be absolutely fine"

For me it was totally clear, I was embarking on a 'happily ever after' - I mean..... I had seen enough romcoms and read enough soppy books to just KNOW that that was where I was heading and life was good and clear.

And to be fair.. Scotland did feel like a cave a bit and that wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.

So what was it?

What changed the feeling of 'throw us in a cave and we will never be bored with each other again'?

I think in short, life happened.

I have seen many many romcoms after the feeling of the cave subsided and it started to dawn on me that those films always stop on the moment the conflict has been solved and the start of happily ever after. Sometimes maybe you would see flashes of pregnant bellies and fenced gardens in idyllic villages (bit like where I lived I suppose :-)) to show how nice happily ever after is.

But nobody shows the years down the road where life is repeating itself over and over and each partner starts concentrating on whatever works for them and not so much on each other. Since the relationship was formed in a 'living happily ever after' fashion instead of the (as I have done in the past) 'not so sure if this is forever' fashion I think we didn't give it the attention it deserved and got complacent.

So.. for years I thought that that was it.. no more men for me, just this one. Which was a very weird feeling and also one that is not highlighted a lot in those romantic comedies or soppy books. Do you know how strange it is to know you would never fall in love again, never have sex with anybody else again? Well.. that is how I entered the relationship anyway.

Now.. all the way in Holland, Scotland seems very far away and every day I feel more and more detached of my life there and the happily ever after that never was.

Which leaves me a bit ..empty..

Like.. not only did the happily ever after not work, I am now severely doubting if it even exists at all, even worse, if I still want it!

So.. a shattered dream and no hope to ever dream that one again because I just don't want to live in the same house with someone else again!!

Is that the price you pay for getting older? And more rigid? I want to do my own thing, I want to be anal about how my house looks, I want to keep it tidy and cosy and I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, I want to listen to music and not irritate anybody with it, I want to watch all those silly 'throw one person out a week' tv programs without feeling guilty of being perceived superficial.

I have had these discussions with others who then tell me that I could have a separate room in the same house and go there if I want to do these things for myself but I can just see how that would work, it would feel like I don't want to be with that person (which technically would be true) and then I would feel guilty about that again!

Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now.. Living Apart Together, heard of it?

I never realised this is a purely Dutch invention, because the acronym is English I assumed it was universal but no.. To prove it really exists: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latrelatie

And as I read now, even Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir did it...

So... any tips on how to find my Sartre?

Dance Parade

2007-08-11T20:08:00.001+01:00

Phew... this new life of mine is very knackering I must admit... Yesterday my niece and her boyfriend came to visit, of course made her my favorite dish (tortilla wraps with peppers/corn filling) then my brother joined us and we went to the local Irish pub and drank a few alcoholic drinks and went to bed way too late for a 46 year old!

And I didn't even drink that much either but I did feel a bit out of it this morning, so did my brother, it was very interesting to see that the 26 year old boyfriend was as bright as a button like nothing ever happened and he didn't drink like there was no tomorrow.

Thought to make a positive decision and go for a bike ride since the weather here is absolutely gorgeous, it is really strange to be back in a country where it is not hammering down days on end.
So.. Rotterdam would be the place to be.. always something to do there.. and was there today!! I ended up in the middle of the dance parade. Basically this means a long long trail of very very big trucks with LOUD (and when I say loud I mean in fear of damaging your ears!) music and dancing people with very little clothes on.

Cycling past it all I suddenly got all emotional again. I have this so often lately when I am in the middle of a lot of people. I so wonder what this is.. do I tune into some mass hysteria, is it selfpity of being lonely in between so many people (hehe don't think so :-)) or am I just so happy to be back !!!

When going through all those possibilities in my head I got even more emotional with the last option and almost burst into tears when at the end of the trail of trucks there were 3 Roteb trucks. (Roteb is the company makes sure streets are swept, garbage collected and rubbish picked up)

Somehow that epitomizes for me the Dutch attitude to life. We
make fun, we make a mess but it always gets cleaned up :)

And after

2007-08-10T10:40:00.001+01:00

Well...coffee *and* cleavage I went for in the end which worked like a charm because it is now 11:40 and all is back to normal, I am chuffed! I do think that my blue duvetcover now clashes with the floor ..so next stop IKEA :-)

Before

2007-08-09T21:28:00.001+01:00

It is really amazing how much furniture fits in one room!

Karin and I applied some girrrrrl power to get it all in... now I have to live like this until tomorrow:

Because tomorrow the big guys with the big carpets come, blue for the bedroom, of course and green for the jungle :-)

So.. how can I bribe those carpet guys to give me a hand in getting some of the big pieces back, coffee? Applepie? Or just plenty of cleavage?

Difficult one...

:-)

... to be continued....

Mooi. Vlinders

2007-08-08T21:16:00.001+01:00

Me, Thr Organiser

2007-08-06T21:42:00.001+01:00

Today was one of those "one thing leads to another" days.. you know those?

Where you start to clean out a wardrobe and suddenly think, ooh that is dirty, lets give it a clean, then find out there are actually things attached that will allow the resurrection of some extra hanging space which I needed a lot. All I needed to do was take 2 shelves out and then find that everything in the wardrobe needs to be moved around and I tell you it was about time.. the thing drove me nuts!

I am not sure if any of you own one of those fancy new wardrobes with 3 sliding doors?

Well if you don't I have to tell you beware!! Because Murphy's law teaches us that the wrong door is always open. Say.. you have your underwear behind one door and t-shirts behind another and slacks again behind another. And say you are not in a very organised mood and a bit distracted it goes like this:

Get undie out (right door open) , put undie on and think what next oh yeah, bra (left door open which of course closes right door), bra on. Then what? Oh yeah.. slacks.. hmm.. middle door (closes left and right door of course), slacks on, then t-shirt, left door (closes middle and right door) put shirt on and think 'man who thought of this organisation, surely I must be getting there but no.. forgot my socks which were with the undies in the right door, at the time I thought that was a good idea, so right door open which closes the cupboards with all my shoes. AARgghh... are you getting the idea?

So.. you can imagine I almost did a victory dance when I discovered my extra hanging facility situation at that time. So.. took 2 shelves out, organised a bit better with all the current clothes in the left cupboard and all 'hardly wear them', 'bit too small at this moment in time' and 'much too hot for now' clothes are in the middle bit which leaves the right bit for what other things a woman could want like erhm... loads of make up and Tarzan.. thinks... what are the chances of either my niece or nephew suddenly walking into the room with it asking 'what is this auntie Tanja'? They love all those sliding doors since they are perfect hiding places....

Hmm.... needs some more thought that one!

For now, proof of hard work!

Rock4 - aCapelle

2007-08-03T16:25:00.000+01:00

Uninvited

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate

Things come in threes!

2007-08-02T19:10:00.000+01:00

So I bl**dy well hope that now I have reached the three!!

Would you believe that my dear dear BAC laptop died this morning? Broken hard drive?

Luckily it started to act weird last night and I managed to backup most of my important files. Well.. that is what I think at this moment of course, there might still be moments that I kick myself because I forgot one that I can't get to anymore.

Irritating is that I had the same thing last year and still I didn't learn that backupping is a good thing.. there are so many things one takes for granted doesn't one? Like.. mail messages.. generally they are so unimportant, just episodic rubbish about what I or other people in my life did.

And suddenly I got all cold because I remembered that all my flight details are in there and passwords and registration confirmations , email addresses of people I promised things too, basically, a big chunk of my life.

So, Eric, Universe, God, who or whatever, THANK YOU once more for letting me back in long enough to retrieve those messages and some other good stuff before you killed it off.

Thinks.... you think anybody on the Godlike plane reads blogs? Hmm.....

Amazing.....

2007-07-31T20:16:00.001+01:00

... I just can't stop saying 'amazing'.

And this time it is because something surprising but really positive happened...

Since I have made this decision to move back on the nest and work for BAC Holland instead of UK I have been very worried about what that would mean for my nett salary and as an effect if I would be able to pay my mortgage and all other costs that I don't know yet but of which I know they will come out of the woodwork.

See... in the UK you pay a lot less taxes/social security moneys than we do here in Holland and it has always been clear that the overall cost on the BAC shouldn't get higher just because I want to change the country I live in. Of course, in my brain that could only mean one thing, I would get nett a lot less than I get nett in the UK and I was terrified I wouldn't have enough.

I don't quite know yet, mind you, what enough or not enough is since I have no idea what euros mean here, I have no idea what somebody in my position 'should' earn and what I can buy for any amount of euros since last time I used money in Holland in a serious 'I live here' way was when they still had guilders (oh.. how I miss the guilder...)

Anyway... I have requested this move in February and it has taken a long time but finally today I was able to resign in the UK and will be rehired per the 1st of September in Holland.

That in itself was a huge relief, that finally this is going to happen for real, paid in real Dutch money will make me feel properly Dutch again, nice ;)

And it turned out that my fear has been unfounded, somehow they have managed to not only get me the same as I have now but even a bit more!

Talking about exceeding expectations... I have been gobsmacked all day running around alternating saying 'thank you' to nobody in particular (well maybe Eric) and 'amazing' because I had imagined that I would have to put up a huge fight and maybe even had to look for another job which I really would hate doing since I absolutely love my job and the working from home perk that comes with it.

So today was a GOOD day...

Of course I had to take K to dinner in the Brasserij again (staple place for a good sateh to celebrate any good news or life in general)

Amazing.... absolutely amazing....

Now.. that mortgage... I wonder how quick I can pay that off ;)

Things are getting worse - send chocolate

2007-07-30T15:56:00.000+01:00

I have seen a postcard with that sentence all the time I worked in the call centre, it always made me titter but it has never sounded more appropriate then at this point in my life!

Remember I told you about the toilet? The hanging/floating toilet as we call it here? Well.. Normally what happens is that there are big bolts in the wall and the rest of the toilet is supported by the wall behind the toilet.

In my last post you can clearly see where the toilet needs to go and how you see the saw marks of where they cut the wall out to be able to get to the pipes. Well.. the pipes are all done but the wall behind has suffered and as I have now found out not JUST the tiles.

See .. this is what happened to it after I used the toilet a few times.

I noticed a creaking sound before but the more I used it (and sorry, I like to SIT on my toilet) I felt I was sort of sliding off it because it started to press against the back wall and since that was only just cut out and glued back (supported behind it by only a small bit of wood) it is giving way!

Oh no... I had visions of it breaking off the wall and water spouting out everywhere so I thought of a workaround, that is the upside of working this long in BAC, you get REALLY good at workaronds!

So.. I don't mean to be rude but... I stuffed Simon Cowell under my toilet!!!

All

2007-07-27T16:18:00.001+01:00

VERY exciting....

Yesterday I heard that the mending of my plumbing would only be planned 3 weeks from now. Which for neighbours below me was not very nice. Since they had tested the coloured water in my bath/shower I thought to be nice and not use the shower/bath as much or long as I would normally do.

So, a few days I even just washed at the basin to not flush the neighbours but felt a little bit miffed because 3 weeks is very long to feel you can not have a long long shower!

So, even if apprehensive, I was over the moon to hear that TODAY would be the day it would all be made better. Also very scary because they can only know how dramatic it is going to be once they have it all open.

So.. toilet off and cut a big bit out of the back wall to expose the pipes... In the picture you can see a top pipe (bath) and a lower pipe which turned out to be from the basins in both my toilet and bathroom. The same basin I used instead of the bath to not flush the neighbours...

Turns out that the bottom pipe was the culprit, it had a 20cm rotted hole in it! Amazing:

Which of course means that instead of helping the neighbours I was flushing them even more! The bathwater that I used mostly went right down only a bit flowed back into this rotted bit.
We also found out that ALL people above me using water flushed the neighbours and they didn't even know they had to stop using water - OOPS :)

Anyway... it meant that they had to discard that pipe totally and do a bypass from the basin in the bathroom and the basin in the toilet and connect it directly.

Which doesn't exactly look like the most beautiful solution in the world as you can see:

But... apart from that, only 1 broken tile which is a lot LESS dramatic than I feared, hooray!
Took them the best part of the day though, started at 7 and it is now 1800 and they are still at it! Definitely getting there now though!

So.. 1900 and finally they are gone and I can conclude it is NOT very nice just now.

Sunday K is coming by to help me paint the bedroom so I think we will also have a go at that pipe to see if it can be made a little bit less in once face ;)

Life is very interesting at the moment, to say the least!

Sometimes

2007-07-25T22:03:00.001+01:00

Meet Ghorak

2007-07-25T10:19:00.001+01:00

A fantastic dish made with chicken, apricots dates and all sorts of other amazing ingredients.
If you ever want a nice special place to take tourists, go to Rotterdam and try Bazar, it is fantastic.. nice ambiance, great food with magnificent use of spices and also very close to the centre of Rotterdam. Y and M definitely LOVED it and we were stuffed.. good thing we had a nice walk over a few big bridges in Rotterdam (When visiting Rotterdam one has to do a few bridges)

I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to do this again, to just jump on the metro and within 15 minutes be in the bustling centre of Rotterdam...

Love it!

The Joys of Ones Own Property

2007-07-20T20:21:00.000+01:00

There I was, fresh out of the shower (sorry for that mental image) still slightly dripping when the downstairs doorbell rang.

So... me, chipper as always hoping that finally the box with goodies that John sent me would have arrived, answered 'Hello?'

'Hello, this building manager here, did you just use water?'

Erhm.. well.. erhm.. yah.. just had a shower... (frantically thinking better put something on if he wants to check my water)

'Oh, ok then I will come upstairs shortly because we think somebody on the 5th floor has a problem because of your connections.'

So.. he came up with a bucket and some green colouring.. threw a load of water through the bath and on his walkie talkie asked the neighbour 2 floors down if she saw anything and she said 'green water'.

Boohoo!

Turns out that this is a known issue in these flats. The connections to the main wastepipe from the toilet, basin, bath and kitchen is getting really thin after 40 years and causes leaks. Every week there are about 3 people with the same problem but of course I wasn't aware.

It means they have to break my lovely tiles in the toilet, bathroom and kitchen and only when they open it do they know how big the wreckage is going to be. Upside I suppose.. as far as upsides go in these kind of situations.. the community pays for the wrecking, they repair the pipes etc. but the repair afterwards is the owners responsibility. And well.. of course.. the tiles are old and there are no spares at all so I would have a nice repaired pipe but a wrecked toilet!

So.. of course I was in tears and called 911 (John ;-)) who of course talked some sense into me and told me to call my brother to share and then my insurance person to check if it is covered by my contents insurance.

Did both which made me feel better when my brother said 'poor sis!!' and the insurance guy that he would check it out.

Now.. 3 days later it turns out that it IS covered under my contents insurance, upto 4000 euros even, although only upto 1000 euros I can get away without an expert coming around.

So.. now it is waiting for the plumber to come and do his deed and tell me what it will cost me to revamp my toilet!

I tell you, these are exciting times!

Kevin 22

2007-07-15T21:21:00.001+01:00

My goodness.. how old does that make me!!!

And how nice is it for me to live here now... only 10 minutes cycling away which allows me to drink a few glasses of wine and still get away with 'driving'

Having said that.. apparently IF I would be stopped by the police and caught with too much alcohol I could still lose my drivers license, interesting I thought. I did decide though that I was a lot less dangerous on a bike than in a car after 3 glasses and I would probably make less of a dent should i hit a car.

It is amazing how quick I am getting used to being here, it is exactly the same as I remembered but then better! All the things I used to take for granted I now appreciate so much more.. (like 5 different shopping centres to cycle to ;-))

The blue-ification of my house is continuing as well, I go this from my mum and I can't stop looking at it, it is brilliant, the light shining through the blue centres of the flowers is gorgeous.

And I bought a couch!

I always wanted a pilot leather couch but I couldn't find one I really liked and IF I found something that I liked it was so expensive I decided against it! Then I went into one of those furniture shops and saw my perfect couch in pilot leather and couldn't believe the price only about 700 euros! Turned out of course that it was make believe leather and actually fabric in the nicest softest form. Of course no idea how it will hold up but I thought for 700 euros I could take my chance!

Not bad I say, nice and chunky and so tactile!

Well.. I am well aware that this blog must be so boring, my apologies for that but I can't stop being so happy about my new house :-)

Blue!!

2007-07-08T20:12:00.000+01:00

I seem to have developed an addiction to Blue!

Does it look cosy or what!

Mothers

2007-07-03T22:23:00.000+01:00

There are some things only a mother can say...

Like.. "Tanja why do you hang your toiletroll in such a way that you can't see the nice pink things on them."

"Because that is the way I like to hang my toiletroll mum"

Next time in a supermarket after she came to visit for dinner "Well, I still don't understand why you have your toiletroll hanging so strangely so I switched it around"

Whoehahaha :-)

I forgot about the level of interference one incurs when moving back 'home'

Love it :)

Curtains

2007-06-30T18:46:00.000+01:00

Well... 2 weeks in and I haven't been able to draw breath!
Work has got so much in the way ;-D

Although, to be honest, the huge upside of working from home, having conference calls and having a wireless dect headset is of course that you can paint a wall while chattering along nicely :-D

It is ridiculous really how smooth everything has gone.. today my bad ass TV has received the sound it deserves and my Media Center is installed.. have you heard about that? That is fantastic.. basically a PC (with Vista) and a harddrive and 2 tv tuners all work together with Microsoft software allowing you to organise the way you watch tv.. it can record live tv, you can record entire series (and it will forever remember you want that) and you can record one while watching another. Very sexy...

And.. the house now looks like a proper house because the curtains have arrived, all in style of course(BLUE!)

The living room, and note the very cool light with diodes, very intense blue, lovely....

And the bedroom, of course in real life they are so much better!

Today was one of those days that clearly showed me why I wanted to go back. First my son called me that he is quitting his job in a supermarket to go and do an education in social work, so exciting.. he always hated anything school really and was happy to go to work but he seems to now have suddenly decided that he wants to do more with his life. And it fits him so well, I think he will excel in this, so great.. so of course, instead of saying nice things to him over the phone I asked him to come round and within 5 minutes we were sharing a drink and looked up his school on the internet... fantastic..

Then my mum called and wanted to come by to have a cup of tea with the 2 of us after which we went to her knack of the woods (10 minute walk) where we participated in a world record in Jump Style, my 71 year old mum was jumping like her life depended on it, we both reached a nice shade of purple but it was magnificent to see her and Kevin so happy and recognise myself in all the people around me.

And I knew.. this is good.. I belong here...

An impression....

2007-06-24T22:01:00.000+01:00

Little bit of Wemyss Bay in my house.. had a gorgeous (if I say so myself) picture printed out on canvas 90cm x 120 cm and it looks so nice, still feels like I am looking out of the Wemyss Bay window but now it will always be nice weather! Table is the Forsby from Ikea, real honest wood, gorgeous!

My 'office' - Of course in the living room since I spent most of my days (and nights as it turns out!) at my desk, love the little cupboard in the back (expedit, Ikea) , it is made in such a way that you can choose how you fill it, either with the plastic boxes like shown in the picture but also with inset doors or drawers that you just pop inside the squares, brilliant..

Mural room is now bedroom since I am waiting for the curtains to arrive, very cosy though, it has something nice to sleep on the floor under a tree ;-)

The kitchen made me a bit claustrofobic since I am used to such a big one (yeah yeah I am spoiled I know) but now with the extra space on the table and the microwave on another table things are looking up.

Of course I am totally in denial about John being on a boat back to Scotland, we said all brave to eachother 'speak to you online dear' :-)

But.. today already proved why I love it so much here... just when I was all ready to wallow in selfpity my brother called to check up on me and suggest to go out for a Kebab together, we turned that around in me cooking pasta for him which was great, we talked for hours and I feel so blessed that I am closer to him and his kiddies....

You know how they say you can't have it all? I think I want to look at it like this.. you *can* have it all, just not always all at the same time!

Welterusten!

The Eagle has landed

2007-06-21T22:45:00.000+01:00

Well.. amazing really.. but it has actually happened and I succeeded!

I have proven all of my family and friends wrong by proving it WAS actually possible to buy the basic furniture and white goods all in one day after inspection of the house and the transfer with the notary.

It was knackering though and since that day we haven't stopped.. John was supposed to paint a few walls here but I have been able to distract him with a million other jobs that were more important, like mending the suncanope outside since it was in danger of falling on someones head.

But.. it is starting to look like a house already, I have a couch and a 81 cm widescreen telly (well... you're done then aren't you really?) Also a coffee table and a fantastic desk and chair, a bed and mattress (unfortunately they are still in separate rooms since only 1 room has curtains sofar so we threw the mattress on the floor) and the most gorgeous secretaire.

I have also already attended my first community meeting, apparently there are constant problems with how to divide the use of the heating systems and for years they are debating how to solve it, I don't think they understand the concept of 'just get it done'. There was loads of talk and talk but no decisions made so I felt very at home (since most of the BACs meetings are like that!) Upside though that they had free drinks afterwards so I got 2 red wine for my sufferings!

Tomorrow we are going to go to Ikea again and buy a table for in the lounge and another one for in the kitchen (oh how I miss the Scottish kitchen!), a lamp, a desk organizer and then that is it.. John will hopefully finally manage to do what he set out to do and paint the purple wall in the room but then that is it..

Goodbye..

We can already feel how painful that will be but we are ever so grown up about it, no tantrums just pushing it nicely into the future basically ignoring the fact totally so to not ruin the lovely week we have together....

Thank God for small blessings, my 20mb download internet connection works perfectly so I will make sure that I find enough to watch to keep myself from disintegrating when he is gone....

This feels like home though, it still feels like the only thing to do which makes it easier, it is in the cards.. all I have to do now is watch it unfold...

It is here!

2007-06-13T20:35:00.000+01:00

Amazing...

All packed.. apart from some little 'last minute' stacks.

This afternoon I had saying goodbye lunch in the Inverkip hotel with Johns mum which was lovely, but I hasten to say, not as lovely as having lunch in de Brasserij in Capelle :-) which I will do next week.

Tomorrow we will drive to the boat and I will embark on my new life which I feel from the first minute will be manic since we want to adhere to our original schedule of:

0800 arrive Europoort Rotterdam Harbour
1000 Inspection of the house
10:45 Go to Post Office to pick up VOIP modem (because Internet is ready!!!)
11:00 Go to Notary to sign for the mortgage and the house
11:45 Meet my mum, brother and son at the house to unload Golfie and measure up to see if furniture/white goods fit. (Oh and brother has bought us a sackbarrow so we are ready to roll)
14:00 Lunch (Fries with Mayonnaise from Bram Ladage)
14:15 Look for and buy Fridge and bring home to rest
16:00 Go to Ikea to buy a desk, bed and nighttables, mattress and slats

Then it all sort of wavers, no idea when we will actually be finished and crack open the champagne ;)

All my family and friends with which I shared this schedule think it is absolutely hilarious and can't wait to see it all go tits up (in the nicest way possible of course) because they think I have lived so long in a village that I don't know that everything in the city takes about 10 times longer because of the amount of other people milling around.

Well... time will tell.. I will give a full account of our actual timeschedule after the event, just for fun :-)

Apart from that I am trying to ignore all the really painful things of leaving the UK behind and concentrate on how much I am going to miss ITV!! I absolutely LOVE Britain's got talent, hilarious! Luckily it seems to be available for download, which will be very quick with my 20mb internet connection, yay!

It will take some getting used to Dutch telly again, it is from another planet almost.. the same shows as here but drawn out enormously, I am not sure if my patience will be able to take that. Like x-Factor.. one night the performances then the next the results, what are they thinking!
Now.. I *am* taking my Dutch satellite so maybe my brother and I can teach that to look for UK telly for if I get UKsick.

And then, just so you know where I will be, this is the map:

Once I get my brain back (it seems to be a bit checked out at the moment) I will report further :)

5 nights....

2007-06-09T22:53:00.000+01:00

... and then we are off!

And.. I am happy to report, it all fits in Golfie!

Amazing really, if you would have seen the amount of stuff that has been building behind the couch in our lounge you would be mindboggled on how it all got in.

Over the years John has developed such a deep love for Golfie and knows where all his nooks and crannies are, so there are for instance things like playing cards, cloths, tampons, cutlery, sweeteners and tissues snugly packed around the spare wheel and when he managed to get all small things in under the chairs and collapsed the backseats there were only big things left and it didn't feel like there was anything in the car at all.. like a big magic trick... or.. as it has been called before.. the Tardis!

This was halfway through the process:

and after adding a satellite dish, a big BBQ in a box and loads of glass pyrex bowls (one can never have too many of those) we feel we are ready to roll.

Only my clothes and some last minute things have to be added and we're off.. what a relief that we did this now so we can relax in the knowledge that it actually fits!

The notary has confirmed that all the papers are in order and has created the mortgage and house transfer documents so there should be nothing in our way.

Also the Dutch BT has advised that they will install the internet broadband line on the 11th ready for me to use on the day that we arrive.

Is it me? Or has this process gone REALLY smoothly? (YAY!)

Now I feel it is really happening.. I have already had my cheerio lunch as they call it here, with a few lovely colleagues from the BAC who gave me an ENORMOUS bunch of flowers, absolutely gorgeous:

We are now Guinness sitting, tomorrow Johns dodo comes back to flop a little bit longer in and around our house to leave Tuesday morning... that really means.. that there is only 1 full day here on my own, wow...

Think it has arrived after all.......

Last times

2007-06-05T19:17:00.000+01:00

Well... it has properly started now.. the rounding up of ones former life :-D

Went to my last hairdressers appointment last Saturday and even got a hug, ahhh.. I didn't even have to say 'what???' that often this time which of course makes me think that I left JUST as I was making progress!

Having said that.. I called the Dutch electricity company last week to get myself organised and the conversation went so smooth.. and I wondered why.. was it just the language? The fact that I never had to repeat what I said? Not even had to spell my name? Nor my street address?

First I thought that was why it felt so nice.. but then I realised it isn't that.. the reason I feel it felt so... cosy.... was that I am one of them. And a special one of them at that because I did something exciting in moving to Scotland so everytime I mention I currently live in Scotland I just hear all doors open, everything is suddenly possible and flexible.

Even though my time here has been brilliant and I wouldn't for the world want to have missed it, it has given me so much, if nothing else another language I am fluent in but I never felt 'one of them'. My mother in law tries to convince me it is because this is Scotland and that in England it would be different but I am not to sure of that...

Why not?

Because I am exactly the same!

I have worked with people from all countries when I was working at the job centre.. and no matter how good their Dutch was and how well I could understand them I would never feel that they are true Dutch people. Not even after living in the country for 20 years.

So.. now I know first hand how that feels and it is not nice!

And of course I have made the choice to return home but in retrospect I feel really sorry for all those people who had to get out of their countries because their life was in danger and who can never go back...

Nothing to report

2007-06-01T18:54:00.000+01:00

really....

Apart from the fact that I called the notary office this morning asking if all our papers arrived and of course, they haven't! So I called my mortgage advising person and he put me at ease, all they had done was sent all my stuff to the only other notary in the town I am going to live in but that they had now faxed all the documents to the correct one. Yay..

So .. we are still on schedule, still no red lights. I am getting a bit frustrated with the BAC, even though I still feel very grateful they go through all this trouble to transfer my contract to Holland, sometimes I can't help thinking if it would have been easier to just find another job either with them or some other company. But eh.. this *is* easier (when they finally get it organised) and I love the working from home and that is not normal in most companies, I know. So waiting with baited breath.. it is just such a pity because the less tax I pay in Holland the less I can ask back on the charges I had to pay for my mortgage!

13 days and counting....

I am so.....

2007-05-23T19:53:00.001+01:00

.... not handling this waiting well!

I feel like somebody at the beginning of a race just after the guy says 'Ready'.... 'Steady'....... and then just doesn't say 'GO'!

It is only 3 weeks to go now.. today 3 weeks from now we will be on the boat in Hull waiting for take off.. or erhm..is that float off? To arrive in Holland at 8 o'clock, then at 10 we will get a tour of our house to make sure it is in the state I expect it to be in after which at 11 the signing and key transferring will happen.

I almost said 'should happen' but since I have this new motto of 'I expect good things to happen to me' I changed it to will happen...

I suppose our traumatic experience in Spain doesnt help my peace of mind a lot... there we were... no place to stay, just a rental car with loads of stuff in our suitcases all ready to sign all our money over to this guy selling the house. And imagine we are sitting all around a table, our solicitor, our bankmanager and his friend, the seller, his solicitor, the notary all talking to eachother in Spanish. Oh and this was half hour after everybody got really irritated because our bankmanager didn't arrive when he said he would. So.. all talking Spanish, John and I holding hands and waiting for the moment someone would tell us 'please sign here' but that moment never came, instead a lot of excitement seemed to happen until someone said that if we didn't pay part of the money in cash that we wouldn't get the key. WHAT!!!! Being a proper dramaqueen I exclaimed 'NOOOOOOOO' and burst into tears. It all ended well though, because of my outburst and the seller being Dutch as well and we had bonded before the meeting he let us go into the house anyway because it was Friday and there was no bank open anywhere until Monday. Anyway, looking back on it it was all good fun but living through it wasn't fun at all so part of me is a tiny bit apprehensive about this signing with the notary business.

So, onto more positive things..

I have already decided on what I want from Ikea.. isn't that nice.. globalisation is good for something I tell ya! I went to Ikea Glasgow and could try out the couches, look for a bed and other stuff I didn't think I needed. So much fun.. of course.. they have the exact same things in Holland so all I need to do is take my list of things to buy and somehow get them home.

John and I have it all worked out, first we are going to go and try out the keys :-), then we are going to take all stuff out of Golfie and into the house, then leave it all lying around, measure a few things and drive to a white goods store and buy a washingmachine, fridge, microwave and vacuuming thing and hope they can delivery next day, then we will drive to Ikea and attempt to buy a bed (called Hopen), 2 nighttables, a mattress and slattedthingies so we have at least something to sleep on. I have a lot more things on my Ikea wishlist but we don't have a hope in hell to put all that in poor Golfie ;)

Then when night has come we are going to zonk out on the mattress and open the bottle of champagne BAC gave me for good behaviour and get drunk.

I think in between the bed in Golfie and the champagne there is probably going to be a dinner with Sateh involved.

Oh joy!

If only 3 weeks wasn't so ridiculously far away :-D

It has started....

2007-05-19T22:44:00.000+01:00

... officially counting down now.. T minus 26

Noticeable only really by the feeling of stress that is building in me and the simple fact that the 'doing things for the last time in Scotland' are getting more frequent.

Made my last hairdresser appointment for Saturday 2nd of June which is also the last Saturday I make Johns mother her lunch (because she does it all the other weeks in the month except for the 1st Saturday of the month.. this family likes structure I tell you!)

It will be interesting to see how much of this structure I will keep.. for me.. my M.O. has always been doing things on the spur of the moment (I think I can honestly say my life was one big spur of the moment experience!).

It was REALLY strange for me to meet John who wouldn't do things because he felt like it at the time but for instance because it was a certain day of the week.

Many times I would say 'shall we have ' which he would love so much that after the last bite he would say 'that was great, shall we do that every Friday' (Or any day of the week it was on the moment we had that .

Of course he would never understand why I looked at him in strange disbelief because for me the whole object of junkfood is that you can use it like a joker, a trump card, to use on those moments you can't be bothered to be sensible but just want a quick fix. Planning junkfood is like terminus contradictus in my mind but I must say I have changed a lot in that area.

Holidays for instance.. for me that was always about waiting long enough for everything to be either full or too expensive so therefore just staying at home and live in and around the bed and kitchen, suited me fine-ish but there was always this niggle that I did want a holiday like other people seem to enjoy.

Well.. John has introduced me to the 'book your holiday 9 months in advance'. And of course, lets not forget, lets throw spur of the moment holidays out of the window completely and buy a house in Spain which is a nice warm place and then at least we know where to go to. :-)

Being a spur of the moment person I am also always game to try new things so I thought I would! And to my surprise.. it is fantastic to have an Excel spreadsheet John made which will show me exactly how many days to wait until our next holiday (109), it is great to know that we can travel light because everything we could possible want or need on our holiday destination is already there. Home away from home we call it and it is, I am sure we will love to use it as a rendez vous pied a terre and at least I KNOW what to do for my holidays because basically, all I ever wanted from a holiday is read books and books and books and get wet in the pool, burn to blisters on getting out and have fun with any neighbours that are around drinking endless glasses of red wine. No problems with having to wait what sort of neighbours you're going to get in your rented apartment, no worries if the place will be littered with cockroaches or the pool will be closed or not being able to find it. And cheap.. did you know that if you book your flights early enough you can fly so much cheaper? And not only that, since you pay it in February and only go in September, by that time you will have completely forgotten about the money you paid for the holiday. Brilliant..

It has taught me that instant gratification is not always a good thing...

Reminds me of this test...

4 year olds are confronted with a marshmellow and told that if they wait with eating it for 5 minutes that they will get 2. It is amazing how many 4 year olds can't wait that enormous amount of time and scoff the thing immediately.

And now of course you expect me to say that I could now easily wait those 5 minutes to get the 2 marshmellows?

Well.. sorry.. holidays ok, but food? That marshmellow would be only in my mouth long enough to say FIVE!! minutes ???????!!!!!

Getting there!

2007-05-15T22:37:00.000+01:00

Well... of course.. the walls still look cr*p but I hope you can see that we are actually getting there! New bathroom suite, and new vinyl on the floor pretending to be laminate ;)

Then the bath, still the old tiles, we will put plain white ones on with ripple effect for extra luxurious feelings :)

Love the way our house looks even longer than it already is because the vinyl goes from the kitchen on into the hall and then seems to go on into the laminate in the guest room, very nice if I say so myself.

Our 'glory hole' ,the utility kitchen.. this room wasn't done when we arrived and it still not done ;) The fridge has been in the living room now since March but somehow there is always lack of time to finish this cubby hole to allow the fridge to go back.

And then.... I *will* miss this ...

so.. I think this picture is nice enough to print out on canvas, I have seen in Holland you can get a 90 cm x 120 cm frame for €79.95 (about 55 quid). I reckon that is worth it, even more because the colours fit so nicely with my glassblocks ;)

Today in a month.. we will be signing for the house and get the keys, how exciting!

Stolen...

2007-05-10T22:59:00.000+01:00

.... but hilarious (sooooo Norunn....)

Note line 29

Out with the old, in with the new

2007-05-09T22:03:00.000+01:00

Very stressful day today..

So.. I had only 2 conference calls for the BAC planned today, one I had to run myself at 11 and one just for listening in at 1500. I on purpose blocked out the rest of my calendar because today was the day THE PLUMBERS would arrive.. Pom pom pom..

Also.. today was the day that Carpetright would come to measure up a few rooms for vinyl we want to put down, they said that at about 09:30 someone would call me to make an appointment.

I considered cancelling my calls but thought it wouldn't be professional to say 'need to cancel since I am 'working' from home today instead of properly WORKING as I am supposed to do' so I thought 'how big is the chance of any of this interfering with my 2 calls'?

Hah!

So plumbers were supposed to arrive at 09:30 (of course that was a lie, it was almost 10) but at least I was relieved I got them in before my call and got them to go to work all coffeed up and things like a good housewife. (Even made them tomatosoup for lunch, homemade, I hope he remembers that when he gives us the bill!)

In between doing coffee etc. some people called me for work related things and of course the carpetright guy ended up on my voicemail saying 'hello there, I will be around at 11'

MUTTER MUMBLE

I really so hoped he would either be early (I only needed 2 minutes to tell him what to do) or a bit late so I would have at least done the pre-ambling bit in the call which generally means you can let the participants talk amongst themselves while you nip out to do whatever is asking attention, be it postmen with packages, the electricity guy to check the meter or someone wanting money for some charity.

Of course.. no chance... JUST when the most important person on the call started his 'Tanja, thank you for arranging this call, this is very important blah blah' the bell rang so I asked for a moment and told them that I would have to go on mute for a little while.

This didn't deter him.. while he was nattering on in my wireless headset I opened the door to mister carpetright trying to tell this high guy on the call to please wait with his important bit, forgetting I was on mute and of course him going on and on thinking it was so nice for a change not to be interrupted (yeah I know I do that, it is enthusiasm, please forgive me) all the while confusing the hell out of the carpet guy when I said 'hold on a minute' to my headset and he went 'yes, no problem' and I had to explain I wasn't talking to him

Pffff.. it was all very embarrassing for all parties involved.. in the end I managed to go off mute long enough to tell mr important to please wait a few minutes and talk amongst themselves and tell mr carpetright what we wanted and that I hoped he could call me tomorrow with the quote.
The poor guy just did his thing and just waved on his way out while I was trying to desperately remember what the important thing was I wanted to achieve with this call!

Man.. how MURPHY was that!!!!!

Anyway, plumbers worked really hard, got all the old stuff out and installed the new bits almost, they will be back tomorrow to finish and start on the cloakroom, it looks lovely doesn't it?

If mr. Carpetright manages to get a quote in which we like we will have laminate look vinyl in all rooms that don't have proper laminate yet.

We should SO have done this 5 years ago, that shows... all you need is to apply the JFDI model. :-)

Out with the old:

In with the new:

The BIG revamp

2007-05-07T22:07:00.000+01:00

Long time no see!!

It has JUST been too busy... for me anyway.. When John was on his trip to Denmark a week or so ago I decided that thinking about the daunting task of making our current house sale ready was almost becoming more daunting than actually getting my finger out. So I did!

You have to understand that our entire house has been taken over by eBay stock.. it got a bit crazy really but that was because it was slowly build by just adding bit by bit until you suddenly feel you are buried by it all. Every nook and cranny was filled with STUFF, amongst other things the guest room was full of it (guests would have to sort of dig their way through the bed). My brother took a picture of a bit of it when he was visiting but even photographing it was almost impossible because there was too much stuff... this is his impression:

In the right hand corner you can sort of see where the bed was squashed in :)

Now.. it took me about 3 days but I did it, I got every last bit of eBay STUFF into the loft, reclaiming our house for the original intended purpose! Today we put laminate in the guest room and as you can see from the photo below.. it is liveable in again!

Wednesday the plumber comes to swap our old (very very awful looking) bathroom for a new shiny one with cute taps (see here) and a matching cloakroom in the same design. Cheap as chips.. the suite that is.. the plumber is a different story, he is probably 2 times as expensive as the price we paid for the sets but.. for under 1500 quid we will have a new cloakroom and a new bathroom.

Wednesday as well the carpetright guy will come to measure the kitchen, bathroom, cloakroom and hall up and give us a quote for pretend laminate vinyl that he will come and lay soon as well and then all we need to do is a lot of cleaning and touch uppering, this process is going so quickly.

All I am doing now is distracting myself with all this since all I can do is wait now until it is the 15th of June!

I'm so proud!

2007-04-26T21:18:00.000+01:00

Have a look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVxkGIRrN7U

Kevin is crazy about LARPing.. which means Live Action Role Playing, as he explains it, it is like Dungeons and Dragons but then real life.
Well.. since I have no idea what Dungeons and Dragons is I was struggling to understand it but I just assume you all are more in tune with all these things...

So, last week was the Elf Fantasy Fair 2007 where Kevin had a leading role. Literally!

He had only 2 hours to practice on this with his group and people were pretty impressed with him:

These were the best few minutes of the fair, it was great to find out we really could do all those things. Kevin most certainly was the best Centurion we could ever have.

and

Kevin was heading up an excellent Roman legion (nr. 1) that had a lot of discipline and charisma. Off all Roman legions, I think I enjoyed them the most, as they acted the most realistic, and were absolutely loving it.

Bursting with pride, me, of course :)

Oh.. and Kevin is the one that shouts hardest.

So glad he finally found a use for that voice :-)

Wahey!

2007-04-20T19:56:00.000+01:00

My mortgage advisor person called me this afternoon to say that all was OK and that there are no issues with getting the mortgage organised.

Absolutely fan-bl**dy-tastic!

What a relief..

And.. finally on the website it shows this:

Which means under offer depending on getting the mortgage sorted :-)

Yay!!

Also.. thinking of the future I wanted to get myself a nice new camera which would allow me to share with John all the exciting things I am going to experience (yeah right, think in the direction of showing a nice salad I made, a new kettle I bought, that sort of things :-))

So.. I bought a little cutie of a camera, the Fuji Finepix V10 Zoom

And what a cutie it is.. it does something that I have always wanted. As you might know I have made masses of pictures of things we then sold on eBay, it is always really hard to decide whether to use flash or not, some things just react really badly to flash where others do a lot better. This camera has a setting 'Natural Light & Flash' which means when you take a picture it takes another one immediately after it, one with and one without flash so you can later decide which version of your picture is best. Absolutely brilliant.

It also has a good quality (640x480) video recorder thingy on it and the ability to show video and pictures on the telly.. very cool I think :)

Oh and as you might have guessed I survived another flight!

4 blissfull days of peace and quiet (erhm.. working my ass off but at least in the same environment for more than 2 days) and then I am off to Sherwood Forest!

Pfff.. May is going to seem so boring!

There

2007-04-17T13:03:00.000+01:00

I've arrived....

Phew... it is all go at the moment! Yesterday John dropped me off in Prestwick for yet another flight, this time to Frankfurt Hahn.. Got picked up by a colleague and only managed to go to bed at 01:30 - oh well.. didn't matter.. since I was the last person arriving in the hotel and wanted a non smoking room I got a 1st class room instead of a business class room. Very very nice indeed, 2 chairs, little table and 2 single beds to choose from ;) - No coffee making facility though, very unfair , I have discovered though that that means half hour longer sleep which was nice :)

Nice breakfast, orange juice, white crispy roll with brie with chili (!) and emmenthaler and a muffin, very unexpected in Germany but lovely :) Also.. to my surprise again GOOD coffee!

Interesting that things are slightly different here.. for instance.. in the drink machines there are glass bottles instead of cans and plastic bottles, and special holes in the wall to put your empties, very cool :)

Canteen cheap as chips as well.. apparently that is subsidised (I approve) and tonight we are going to a nice place for dinner...

With 13 men and 2 women (including me :-)) and it is summer here, so much better than the 13/14 degrees and rain in Wemyss Bay!

Home

2007-04-16T07:56:00.000+01:00

or is it?

:-)

Things do feel a bit weird at the moment, I must admit.

I am home in Wemyss Bay for one day which is lovely, there is nothing like your own bed is there, pity I can't take it with me! Or at least the mattress.. We were advised a Sealy Posturepedic 5 years ago and I must say it is absolutely brilliant! It was expensive, can't remember how much exactly but something like £250 at least. So I thought I would go and check in Holland what it would cost me there to get the same one... so... calling the only shop who advertised them in Holland I asked for a quote ...... he called me back and said 'Are you sitting down?' :) €2355

WHAT!

Dear me.. well.. that is as much money as my lovely little Peugeot so no way am I going to spend that amount of money!

Anyway, for now I am letting it all go for a little while, I am concentrating now on my workshop in Germany, creating presentations that will hopefully dazzle the audience. Then, when coming back on Thursday evening I have a whopping 4 whole days of stability before I drive off into the sunset again...

May will be such a boring month comparing ;)

The deed is done

2007-04-14T18:43:00.000+01:00

Well... all documents signed, sealed and delivered, there is nothing more I can do now but wait if the bank agrees with all the documents presented and put their money where their quote was!

If *all* goes well I will be able to move in from the 15th of June but I must admit I am terrified that we run into big obstructions, don't know why but these things seem to go like building a new kitchen or bathroom, you just KNOW it never goes as planned and that it will always be more expensive than planned. So.. I am prepared to get a mail or phone call saying that something is missing, it is ALL very exciting.

We only have until 1st of May to get the OK from the bank, from that moment we are bound to go through with it or else we have to pay 14750 euro penalty. Brrrr!

Upside of course is that after that date I should know for sure if the bank accepted me as a customer, well, they should do considering how much money they are going to make by taking me in.

So... today was all about re-acquainting myself with city infrastructure.. man... did I enjoy that or what?? I was in the city (where all shops are hehe) at 9 in the morning and the weather was gorgeous, I nicely browsed, bought nothing but logged loads of things and then decided to walk home (erhm.. this means about 10 miles - 3 hour walk, hope you're proud).

My body now hurts in places I didn't know were there but it was fantastic to put down footsteps again in MY bit of the world...

Coming to a close

2007-04-12T09:00:00.000+01:00

So..back in Holland again... for the last time before the move I hope!

This time is about signing the mortgage quote for the bank, the purchase contract and some other very official documents. The file with the guy who takes care of all of this for me is absolutely HUGE, like, it could be used as a stool to sit on by now!

Today I need to go to the notary, I am a bit scared of people like him, he told me off severely for the way John and I dealt with our finances (now WHY did he think that had anything at all to do with him?) but in the end he was willing to help me with what I needed but I must admit because he reacted in that irritating way I am a bit apprehensive on what he will throw at me today.

Oh well.. as long as I get out of the visit what I want it will be OK, if that is 'ticked' as well I so think a bottle of red wine is in order tonight because...

That is it.. it is out of my hands.. all I can do now is WAIT (oh boy, I am so not good at that) until the bank decides if they dare take me on as a customer and give me that mortgage I need. If I see the pile of STUFF they need to dig through to decide yes or no I don't think it will be quick!

Having said that, in my purchase contract it says that it has to be done before 1st of May so I hope that my agent can push it forward a bit so we don't have to go for extensions and things.

It is very nice that 'Eric' (remember him) made sure that the rest of April is absolutely manic for me. Sunday I arrive back in Wemyss Bay then the day after I fly to Frankfurt to attend this workshop and come back Thursday. Only 5 days later I need to leave again to this Centre Parcs thing. Haven't heard yet if the SPA day is going to happen (oh I so hope, I could do with one!)

During Easter we went on a boat trip on the broads in Norfolk.. that was so brilliant, the weather was great, the company magnificent (John and his dodo, her partner and dog :-)) and the picnic lovely!

This is Guinness (guess who chose that name for the dog) driving the boat.

So.. quiz... what do you do with a boat with a motor? Drive? Ride? Sail? Pilot?

:-)

Goodness

2007-04-06T07:35:00.000+01:00

It is Good Friday and I don't have to work!

So WHY do I wake up at 06:35?

Yes, because the bloody mortgage quote still didn't arrive and I am stressed out of my skull! Today is it's last chance but to be honest I am not holding out a lot of hope, my fear is that the Dutch people sending this didn't address it properly so the Scottish (if it came that far!) postal people are still scratching their heads trying to work out where it is supposed to go.

Anyway... tomorrow morning we leave at sparrowfart to go to Norwich and then I can't do anything about it anymore, it is out of my hands then. If it doesn't arrive this afternoon I will call my estate agent type contact for advice, see what options we still have open.

In any case from Norwich I will fly to Holland on Tuesday morning and have an appointment to sign a few papers at the notary office and at the estate agent.

I only realised today that I fly back on the Sunday and then have to leave again on the Monday for a workshop in Germany until the 19th.

That serves me right for thinking my life wasn't exciting enough, all excitement in one month now.. ridiculous!

Because did I tell you that I got rewarded by the BAC for my hard work last year? Well.. rightfully so but it is nice that they agreed with that sentiment ;)

So... when I am back from Germany I have exactly 4 days at home before I drive off to Sherwood Forest (an English Centre Parcs venue) where apart from a business update we will do all sorts of 'fun' things.

Now... 'fun' of course is relative... and different for everybody... so.. they done this really nice actually.. part of the gettogether is of course official presentation type stuff but 1 big part of it is 'team activities' as could be expected of any self respecting BAC of course!

So I could choose from...

High Ropes (EEKS, me, HEIGHTS?)
Jacobs Ladder (something high as well so that is out)
Gladiator Challenge (test skills and aptitude? No way, inapt, me)
Abseiling (Sounds pretty high to me again, so NO)
Rock Climbing (Yep, why all so high?)
Tree Trek and Zip Wire (Tree, danger of being high so better not)
Laser Combat (My, how agressive!)
Back to school (Well.. I went through that nightmare first time so why revisit!)
Low Ropes (Not so high, still high danger of severly hurting myself so NO)
Waterworld (If it was in a pool, OK, but this is the rafts things and stuff, NO)
Venture hunt (Hmm.. now this COULD be fun-ish)
Ten pin bowling (No eye-hand coordination)
Golf Driving Range (Same problem, different sport)
Quiz (Hmm.. generally very geared to cultural questions, no chance)
Spa (now... THAT is better BUT do I really want to parade in a bathing suit looking bluish white with my cellulite bubbling out everywhere?)

See.... 'fun' is relative.

I am sure that masses of people would start to get really excited from a list like that whereas I think 'Oh MY GOD' what is the least worst one out of this list?

It *has* to be the Spa day because even though I don't like all this exposing myself to my colleagues (in Holland I very regularly run naked amongst perfect strangers in the sauna but that is so much easier since they wouldn't even recognise me all dressed ;-)) I *do* like sauna's and steambaths and generally being in nice warm water all day long, so I said BRING IT ON.

I thought it would be a good way of really getting to terms with the body I have created. So okay.. I don't think it is a work of art but it is mine and it is about time that I am standing proud and say 'this is it, deal with it'.

I might be the only one brave enough though which might mean the activity doesn't happen so for seconds I put down the Venture Hunt and I think the quiz... fingers crossed!

So confused...

2007-04-04T14:21:00.000+01:00

Well.. no mail again today.. feeling a bit anxious BUT I have booked my flights so this quote better arrive before we leave for Norwich!

Yesterday I was talking to another person who moves back to Holland after spending YEARS here in Scotland.. she said that in her new job she got only a tiny small remark in her review about her grammar in Dutch and the way she builds sentences. Couldn't believe that... but it was true..according to her she now feels that she isn't very good in 2 languages.

Scary!

Because I have noticed.. that my melody has changed..you know how in English the melody changes dramatically when you ask a question? Somehow the melody is so different from the Dutch way of asking a question that I heard myself how strange I sound when talking Dutch. Only the first few days thank goodness but I see people look at me a bit like 'oh look how she tries to be interesting'. Since in Holland you are never allowed to be or do anything that is not normal in a 'be normal that is crazy enough' sort of fashion.

Mind you.. I always felt that the Dutch 'normal' was considered to be totally over the top compared to the British normal :-)

Anyway, today again I noticed how screwed up I am....

Made a list of days of the week since I wanted to plan what sort of clothes I need to take since I am going first to Norwich where I have to be sort of sporty since we are going to do 'green' things (like exploring islands in a boat and things) and then I am going to Holland where I have to visit the notary and want to look sort of presentable.

So... there I had my list of days. In Dutch.

Then behind the first day I noticed I filled in the activity of the days in English :-)

Quite funny actually.. I have become more English than I realised.

I remember so well when I first started to live here that I got so frustrated with reading magazines and books (after I ran out of Dutch ones) because there were so many words that I didn't know and it stopped my flow. Also English television was hard to follow, always had to ramp the sound right up before I could understand what they were saying.

And now.. last time I was in Holland I found the subtitling REALLY weird and quite irritating since they don't always translate properly :-)

When in Holland I keep on throwing English words into the equation because I am not patient enough to find them in Dutch in my mind.

And suddenly I realised.. hang about.. soon I will be living in Holland which should help with talking and writing proper Dutch again because I will read Dutch papers, books, magazines, listen to TV but at the same time I will still work for an English department and converse with my colleagues and of course my English lover.

Poor poor brain....now.. 2 things can happen.. I will either become totally fluent again in both languages or totally screwed up in both.

Answers on a postcard :-D

Tummy Aches

2007-04-03T13:54:00.000+01:00

OK.. I must admit.. Eric or not... I so wish the mortgage quote would arrive!

They sent it to me last week but Holland to Scotland apparently is quite a long way away since the Dutch equivalent of the Royal Mail says it can take 5 days to arrive.

Everything is dependant on the quote arriving soon because when it does John needs to sign, then I need to take the proof of employment forms and all sorts of other stuff and go to Holland.

Since it is almost Easter and we are going to visit Johns daughter in Norfolk (8 hour drive) I thought it would be great to fly from there to Amsterdam so I only have to do this huge drive once.

Then in Holland I need to sign some papers to get the mortgage going, the purchase contract signed so it can all be finished by the time I want to go into the house.

So ... I am so willing this to arrive now... 3 more days to go and Friday is a holiday in some parts of the UK so I have all my bits crossed but djeez.. it makes me feel SO uncomfortable!

Then of course I go back to basics, this is MY house.. anything that is difficult has just been sent to test me and then I go back to the pictures I took and start planning what sort of furniture I will buy.

Like.. do you like my bedroom? :) Note the blue glass blocks (which I love so much!) and it is so sexy, they have lights inside!

It will all be OK

Excitement galore!

2007-03-30T19:50:00.000+01:00

Goodness me.....

It is a good thing I have learned to trust in 'eric'.

Did I tell you about 'Eric'?

Well.... when John and I met eachother we felt that all the roadsigns seem to be pointing us to get together and it was almost like the process went all on its own. We didn't have to 'do' anything, it almost got 'reveiled' to us. We constantly referred to this as 'it', 'it' is showing us where to go, what to do next etc.

'It' as a name was chosen so we could keep it out of any religious box. 'It' was our spiritual guidance and has been since we have met and to this day. Doesn't mean, mind you, that we always understand 'it's' ways or that we don't get frustrated :-).

Anyway, John's sister at some point said 'All this talk about 'it', can't we at least give 'it' a name, say 'Eric'' ... so.. it has been a running joke in my family now for years that Eric knows best. If something is taken away it is only because Eric has something better in store and.. he always has!

Like.. I saw this other house before I saw 'mine' and I fell in love with it instantly because it had such a great kitchen and bathroom and everything, ok, it only had 1 bedroom but I was very quick to organise in my mind a sleepingcouch sothat any visitors would still have a nice place to crash.

When I informed about the house and they told me it was sold I was gutted and going to Holland was a bit more scary because the houses I saw weren't really lighting my candle, they were nice-ish but none of them sparked anything in me. I was terrified of not being able to find anything suitable.

Until the moment that my mum and I walked past that estate agent right outside the door of my best friends house, like it had been planted for me. And it was clear why I never saw it advertised before, it was JUST out of my budget but of course after a bit of haggling it got into the budget again.

So.. Eric is still guiding us and it feels so good, even when things get scary, like today when our 'proof of employment' letters got rejected by the bank I just know that Eric will provide, I go through the motions and I just know that from the 15th of June I will live in MY house.

:-)

Can't wait!

Hooray! Me, Home Owner!

2007-03-24T05:33:00.000Z

Well.... the deed is done.

I have bought a house for €147.500 with a transfer date of 15th of June 2007

WOW

Of course I should say 'we' :-) but still.... it is quite... massive!

I never thought this would happen and it has been a scary process BUT thinking about it... I arrived on the 13th of March which means that in 10 days I have been able to not only find a nice house, I found a house to LOVE and bought it!

Yesterday I drove back from dropping my mum off at her house and drove past the flat, my house stood out from all the other ones with lights on because of that lovely starry heaven. (Because there are little lights in all ceilings, the current owner is an electricien :-))

And did I tell you about the mural in the extra bedroom? Well... unfortunately I didn't take the picture from the same place so it doesn't quite fit but I think you can get a good idea. It is absolutely massive and so beautiful.. even though I can't *yet* think of a use for it, I can't take it away either. Maybe in a few years. The tree on the right is really three dimensional, under it is the heating pipe that always runs through this flat.. what an idea to get rid of it :-)

This house feels like a playground.. it so suits me!

So..next step is to wait until the mortgage quote is ready, for John and me to sign, then I need to fly over again to get the contract signed and then 15th of June I should be in!

Exciting times!

Life changing moves

2007-03-16T19:04:00.000Z

Well... there you go.. how things can sometimes happen QUICK

Tuesday I arrived in Holland (about 21:30) and I said to my brother that it was such a pity I didn't have a car for a few weeks so I could cart myself around in search for the perfect house and browse furniture.

Well.. that same night we drove past a few houses I had picked from the net but none of them looked very cosy in the dark so a few of them got discarded instantly.,.. then my brother called one of his friends who has a garage who said he had a car for me to use while I was here, a blue peugeot 205, lovely little car.

So, Wednesday morning I first went to view a house which was not what I wanted, then had coffee with my mum and at 11 went to the notary to get him to draw up a 'living together' contract which he almost didn't want to do because he claimed we would not live together :-)

The guy was like one of those old fashioned doctors, horrible, telling me off for having my money shared with John, that it wasn't safe and that we should change that and each have our own account and one combined. I so was tempted to scream 'get out of my life' but I needed him for the document that will allow us to buy this house together. :-)

Anyway after I convinced him that we shared all our accounts and houses and a lot of love he reluctantly agreed to drawing up the contract as well as allowing John to sign a power of attorney so John doesn't have to fly over. (John does NOT like flying :-))

Then Jacco called and said he had 'my' car and would you believe the license plate starts with TG? ;-) That sounds like meant to be or what? So I am now the proud owner of my own blue Peugeot 205 from 1998, over the moon I am!

Then my mum and I went to a place to have something to eat and we passed an estate agent and saw a flat in the window which was JUST over budget but looked nice enough to check out so I went in and got the particulars... well.. the pictures alone made me fall in love at first sight and my mum loved them too.. so .. made an appointment for a viewing, went there with Karin and my mum to view at 15:30 and it was IT - it is as quirky as I am, very different and strange but still big and plenty of room for me and John AND a proper room for someone to stay over!

The kitchen is gorgeous, all tiled from top to bottom as well as the bathroom and.. wait for it... it has a jacuzzi bath!!! How great is that! The extra 'box, dressing, laundry, visitorsroom' is a bit warped though. It was a childs room and some artist has drawn a fantastic mural on the wall - it is just too beautiful to take off but it did make me wonder if anyone could sleep there and not get nightmares :)

I have a few pictures here but I must say you can't really see the quirkyness, that only becomes apparent when you are in the place....

So.. picture 1 is the flat itself, the apartment building I should say... you need to scroll to the right a bit and then you see the view... then on the 2nd row you see a few pictures of the lounge..the blue glass blocks are my absolute favorite... very beautiful as they are but they also have lights in them for nighttime.. great stuff...

On the 2nd row the picture on the far right you can see a door to the left, that leads to the little room where you can sleep if you dare and that then leads again (with a glass door) to the bathroom, mind you, the toilet is still separate, they didn't put an extra one in :)

In the ceiling in the bedroom and livingroom there are tiny little lights which look like stars in the dark, very romantic :)

I am so glad I found something that I absolutely love, I was a lot scared! I do feel guided because.. who manages to get a car with their name on it AND a house they adore in ONE day? Unbelievable.. I am reeling!

Next step now is to have a 2nd viewing on Tuesday with the mortgage guy and my brother to get the more objective view (not that they can ever change my mind but they might be helpful in the negotiations since all I want to scream is YES YES YES anything you want I'll pay which is totally ridiculous since the house has been on the market for 2 years since it is just TOO personal, they are just lucky they found someone from their planet to love it :-)

John and I do realise that we will probably not be able to resell again but came to the conclusion that I will always want to have a pad to go to in Holland instead of staying with family, I so need my own bombshelter where I can pretend that I am still Dutch :-)

And it is fun here I must say, very confrontational, like.. of course it is great that I know where everything is, it feels very cosy but if I am in our version of Tesco which is about a third of the size of the one I am used to I get a bit irritated because they only have expensive brands and not the nice cheap tesco value stuff which we always buy. John will just have to take truckloads of stuff with him ;-)

The BAC is still working really hard on moving me to Holland, I must say they are really coming through for me, how great is it that you can move country and take your job with you? It *has* advantages to work for a Big American Company!

Big City Girl revisited

2007-03-05T21:43:00.000Z

Well... it had to happen sometime I suppose..

As in.. you can take the girl out of the city but you can't take the city out of the girl!

I miss the people, the infrastructure, the metro to the city, the 3 big supermarkets to choose from in walking distance, cycling to and from the city or the green pastures close by, my family, mixer taps, tiled bathrooms, Spa days, dinner out with friends, theatre visits, the weekly market, my social circle, my old job, did I mention my family? :-)

Anyway.. the more it rains here the more I miss Holland, the more I work from home (even though that is lovely) the more I feel claustrofaubic, even though it is gorgeous here, that is for sure.

But I need to find myself back, and myself starts in Holland, I didn't realise that 'being Dutch' was such a HUGE part of my personality but it is...

And THANK GOD that I am in a relationship with someone who fully understands and accomodates that need.

Now.. how are we going to source that €134000 I need for that apartment I've seen? :-)

And how many houses can one own before one thinks 'this is enough' :-D

Can't help thinking - even though it might be slightly impractical - that it is so nice to decide which country we will pick to live each season. And have one for each :-)

Winter in Spain, spring in Scotland, summer in Holland, autumn.... Norwich?

Who knows... never a dull moment, that is for sure.. watch this space!

Lang zal ik leven in de gloria

2007-02-08T09:40:00.000Z

Well....I have to say... that was (and is) a huge success!

My brother and I were able to keep my presence a secret until the unveiling moment so that was nice. I told my (now 4 year old niece) that when grandma came in the door she first had to open her presents and only then could come and get me (because I ran upstairs). Very cute to hear her say after every present 'you can't go upstairs Oma' hehe... anyway finally when the ordeal of opening presents was over she came and got me and that did surprise my mother as much as we expected. 'Oh I feel all tearful' she said... bless.. it was cute...

Then a few days later, my birthday..... remember when I bought that watch a few weeks ago? I love it, it is ever so cute but it does clash with my pink/purplish clothes a lot sooooo.. when I said that I wanted another watch to be able to swap according to what I am wearing, my bestest friend in the world immediately said 'I want to give that for your birthday'. WOW!! So now I am the proud owner of a proper Swatch Bubblehop!

Then... I went to the lenses people.. turns out that even though my lenses were so old that the right one is all deformed (oops) my eyesight didn't deteriorate as much at all as B&L had said. I am SO happy I only ordered a weaker pair of glasses, they now happen to be about just right. He explained that even if I could see sharper with the prescription they gave me that I would have problems since my eyesight would be distorted and I would see everything smaller than it actually is. And to be honest I already noticed that with my glasses, everything looks a lot different but still workable. So glad I made this decision!

So.. long story short, I can pick them up on Friday!! How smooth is that!

A few days ago I went to see Kevin and his dad and of course his squeeze was there as well, made a nice picture:
And now.. lots and lots of proper snow here in Rotterdam after having a few days of wet snow! Wemyss Bay has been gorgeous all week, now... WHY? ;-)

Secrets and lies

2007-01-31T22:03:00.000Z

Well... after I got over my anger about my lenses I got an idea...

'Why don't I call my old contacts providor in Holland and check what they charge me?'

Would you believe that it is less EVEN if I calculate in my flight to Holland?

So guess where I am going Friday afternoon?

Yay!!

I am going to stay another 9 days like last time, that seems to work really well, arriving Friday evening, going back the Sunday a week later so I have 2 weekends in Holland and can fit in seeing everybody.

and... added bonus this time.. my little niece celebrates her birthday the 3rd and it will be lovely to actually be there for a change.

and here is where the secrets and lies come in...

Is it considered a lie when one omits facts from ones communication?

Coz... my brother and I thought it would be great to surprise my mum, who will be on that particular birthday as well.. we did think about her having a heartattack but she is not that kind of person really :-) (she says full of hope)

So.. this will be fun for her... expecting only my brother and his kids she will get me thrown in as well as Kevin who takes the opportunity to see his mum and eat nice 'Disney Princess' cake baked in a tin that I ordered on eBay. ;-)

I do feel a bit guilty though when I write her mails and she says 'going to Michelle's birthday Saturday' and instead of saying 'Yeah, me too, I see you there', I say 'have fun!' which of course is perfectly allright except for that big void where I should come clean ;-)

Can't wait ;-)

Oh and.. my birthday is the 5th, so that will be different as well (since we normally don't even acknowledge the fact really ;-))

So, to celebrate that day I made the appointment with the contacts people, they are going to check my eyes, order my lenses and send them to the UK registered mail. How international.

I feel like such a foreigner running back home but come on.. they only charge me 175 euro in total which is about 120 pounds which is 130 pound cheaper than here! Tsk...

AND... I can fill my suitcase upto the limit with cheap red wine to take home! Getting better all the time. :-)

Anyway, hope y'all can keep a secret, 3 more days I need to sit on this before I can shout SURPRISE! ;-)

An eye for an eye

2007-01-23T19:59:00.000Z

Well... when I was 16 I looked absolutely horrific... you know that part of adolescence where you are not quite 'finished'? I was very chubby (fat of course in my eyes) and I wore glasses that made me look SO ugly it is a good thing I don't have any pictures anymore of that time.

Anyway...... I think my father agreed so he forced me to a contactlens specialist to get contacts, it took me forever to get used to them since the only lenses I could have were the 'hard' ones that let some oxygen through, called Rigid Gas Permeable lenses in English apparently. I must say though, after I got used to them they have done me proud until at some point soft lenses were the vogue and I got to try those. They screwed my eyes up so badly that I wasn't allowed to wear any lenses for over a year and was told that I could never ever have soft lenses again. (bum!)

So.. not a problem, swapped to hard lenses again and have been happy with them ever since. I am a horrible lens wearer though, I have been told from my 16th that I should take them out a few hours before going to bed and a few hours after waking up. Well.. of course when my glasses were still alive I did that, sometimes. When those broke 20 years ago (yep...) I gave up on any glasses on the side. So.. it goes like this: Wake up, open eyes, have wee and insert lenses. (Sorry for that mental picture but wanted to make sure you realise how efficient I am). Same again when I go to bed but then the other way around. Suffice to say I am not very nice to my eyes.

Since it is 6 years or so ago that I got a new pair of lenses (right before we left Holland) they have become more and more difficult to look through comfortably. They are supposed to have 2/3 year lifetime. I also got told off by my brother when I dropped him off at the busstop last time he visited because I mistook a truck for the bus coming, then when I needed the bus myself later I could only see the number when it nearly drove over me. Not so good.

So, I went to Black and Lizars in Greenock for an eyetest which, would you believe, is free! All eye tests in Scotland are free. But wait for it, I understand why now! Pfah...

Anyway, I had to come to my appointment without my lenses in (had to officially not have worn them for 24 hours but Celebrity Big Brother eviction was on so, come on, surely 11 hours will do!) they gave me the once over, tested every eye disease under the sun and it turned out that my eyes had deteriorated with 2 points... I now have 8.50 and 8.25 (minus, for short sightedness). I never really noticed this change myself in daily life (unless trying to read the busnumber) since due to old age I need reading glasses as well and apparently those two factors have levelled eachother out quite nicely as long as I stay inside.

Luckily (in retrospect) I ran out of time so I asked them to call me with a price for the lenses. Now.. when I left Holland I got the pair I have now for about 100 quid including all tests.

So today, the call. And suddenly it became clear how they get the money for that free eyetest back! The pair of lenses would cost me £150 so I thought oh, that is not too bad, even though I have seen them on the internet for £60 including postage, I know that when you buy them in a shop and you had a test and all that it will be more expensive. JUST when I wanted to open my mouth and say 'oh ok then, that is not too bad' she said 'and on top of that there will be £100 for fitting them.'

'Oh', I said all optimistic that would not be for me since I have been wearing lenses for 30 years, I just need a new pair with higher prescription. 'Oh no, you will have to be tested what sort of lenses you need'. 'Huh? I have had to come without my lenses on a special day to meet the contact lens specialist? Who has written it all down? Checked my Curve, axis and everything?' ,'No, that was something different, if you want to buy these you have to be tested all over again'.

WHAT!!! Anyway, I was being British and I said 'OK, I will get back to you'. And that is quite funny about communicating in British. Both of us knowing I was totally pissed off and would never contact them ever again. Ever.

Pfah!

I did a good thing though (since this was my only new year resolution; to take care of my eyes), I ordered with the prescription I got from them (hehe, they are obliged to give you the basic info) a pair of glasses online for only 20 quid. I am sure they will be obnoxious because of their jamjarbottom properties since I of course was too mean to pay for the sexy 'flatter than flat' lenses and because I have ordered minus 7.75 (they didn't have any higher, or lower depends on how you look at it for that price) the jamjarbottom factor will be quite high.

Bought these, but then in black.

Got painfully clear again that I have a huge head. Already knew of course that I have the tendency to be big headed and I had already noticed that hats in general do not fit. And I have had enormous embarrassing moments at the hairdressers in the time that I wanted highlights and the plastic hat didn't want to stay on my head! Got the solution as far as glasses go though, I just check for gents or unisex glasses and pick the one with the biggest bridge, widest frame and longest arm.

I can't wait.... do you know what having glasses on the side again means? That means that if I wake up in the middle of the night I can grab my lenses and read the clock projected on the ceiling, when I then waddle to the kitchen I can see that Johns slippers are in the middle of the hall and prevent tripping and all those scary shadows in the night will suddenly be recognisable as things!

Note to self when wearing glasses: 'Avoid mirrors!'

Jurification

2007-01-14T10:43:00.000Z

Well.....

I didn't even make a point of it but on Christmas Eve this year it was my 5 year anniversary of living in this country. The 8th of January was my 5 year anniversary of working for BAC. I didn't make a lot of that at all, I don't do birthdays and celebrations like that and anniversaries in general have never meant anything at all to me (which makes remembering other people's birthdays and special dates REALLY hard!)

Anyway... I have this feeling that it was no coincidence that Saturday I suddenly got a letter which said that because I was on the electoral role I was asked to be a potential juror and that I had to return the letter within 7 days (or otherwise get a fine of upto 250 pounds) saying when I was going on holiday so they would know not to invite me then.

Of course, my initial reaction was 'oh this is not for me' since I am not even allowed to vote for this countries government. Strangely enough I am allowed to vote for the local government but I am ashamed to say that I can't care enough to actually get to the voting place so I let my vote pass. I even wondered if I still wanted to be on the electoral role last time they asked us (they always send a letter to confirm you are still alive, kicking and want to participate in the voting). Since I didn't have a clue if that would have any effect on my status in this country I thought I'd better...

So, I thought I would have a good look at the back of the letter which stated lists with ineligible people (like policemen, lawyers and people who have ever had a more negative run in with the law) and other reasons why you couldn't partake but 'being Dutch' was not one of them! It did say that you can only partake if you have been in this country for more than 5 years.

Now... can it be coincidence that 5 years after starting my job with the Big American Company I suddenly get this letter with this invitation? I wonder how that all works!

Anyway.... for a Dutch (and very curious) person like me this is SO exciting.. I mean.. in Holland we don't have juries, we have a judge or 3 judges if it is serious stuff but that is it. As I understand it in Scotland there are 15 jurors in each case (dear me) which are chosen by the lawyers of the prosecutor and defender I think. If this is really going to happen I do have to read up on it a bit more!

Apparently this entire process is normally considered by normal people to be a 'drag'. Something that if it happens you are not happy because you need to travel to the court, be off work and... well sorry.. for the life of me I can't think of any negatives about it. To me it all sounds like good fun, something to look forward to, a new experience.

So.. now it is waiting for the invitation.. listening to people who have had experiences with this (= read blogs) when you get one of these letters, the invitation is imminent. All that then needs to happen is that somebody actually wants you on their jury.

I will keep you informed! :-)

Storm

2007-01-10T21:12:00.000Z

Received a bit of a disturbing mail from my brother saying:

'We are going to get a WF 9 storm and it is all your fault'

Huh????

Luckily he pasted the link to an article which said that due to a depression over Scotland a storm is developing which will hit Holland on Thursday :-)

Told you he was funny!

Now all we have to hope for is that what they get is the offspring of the big daddy that starts here, so far it sounds REALLY ominous - it makes us think at a regular basis if it was a good idea to be perched on a cliff.. John reckons that if a roof tile or other projectile hits our window the roof will come off because of the air pressure....

Watch this space, that is what I say, fingers crossed those roof tiles stay were they belong!

2007-01-04T19:06:00.001Z

Happy New Year!

It was an eventful end of the year indeed! My job got manic since we had to finish a big job before the 21st (and I was flying to Holland the 22nd!)
But.. of course we DID it....I still feel elated, this has been really good for our PR.

Anyway feeling like I earned a present I bought myself a new watch on Schiphol right on arrival in Amsterdam. I always want a swatch because they are all plastic and anything that even remotely looks like any kind of metal on my skin makes me break out in a mega rash, not nice. So.. a swatch.. the way to go. I also like the way they go mental with their watch designs so I bought one that so far only *I* like.. everybody looked at it and sort of politely hummed hehe..

Meet Funky Red Tie:

Well I love him anyway, he is my special friend!

Then onto Rotterdam Central where Karin (bless her) picked me up and took me to Dordrecht to a cafe where a friend was performing, very nice jazzy Norah Jonesie type music. Lovely.. Had a Shoarma (doner kebab I think they call that in the UK) at 0200 in the morning which is a must on a night out and.. I didn't faint once! :-)

Saturday was about doing shopping with THE family which was great, all of course to prepare for Christmas. Can't even for the life of me remember what I did Sunday, old age is a horrible thing. Probably tonight in bed I will suddenly remember!

Anyway, Christmas was great, Kevin has a girlfriend now (which of course immediately pushes me into the next generation, funny :-)) They were adorable together all over eachother like a rash all day :-) An impression:

And now it is 2007... my resolution for this year is to get my lenses sorted out, I have had this pair since end of 2001, worrying really, problem is I don't have any glasses anymore, I am so used to wearing them it gives me no problems. But.. when I took the bus to the airport I couldn't read the number on it and it was a guess if I was halting the right bus which was a bit embarrassing so I reckon my eyesight has deteriorated quite dramatically. Exciting.. I have an appointment on the 20th and need to be without lenses for 24 hours (yeah right as if that is going to happen!! ;-))

Still playing with my iPod, what a great little thing, totally discovered Christina Aguilera, I feel she brushed up and grew up and is now making grown up music which touches my heart, listen to 'The Right Man', 'Hurt', 'Oh Mother' but also 'Still Dirrty' :-)

Preferably REALLY loud with a lot of BASS which I can now do because we - very decadent - bought yet another Logitech Z2300 PC speaker set, now for in the lounge (we already had one in the room John always works in) so we can alternate our music sessions, love it!

iPoditis

2006-12-09T15:09:00.000Z

Well...

That was a REALLY exciting trip!

I had been invited to go over to Southampton for the BAC's yearly xMas do.. ehm.. of course I had 'other' business to do as well (yeah right)

My visit was great, it was lovely to see all my colleagues, worked hard on Tuesday then chilled a bit on Wednesday because that was 'DO' day and we went to the 'DO' pub where we played 'skittles'. I hardly threw a ball though because I had too much fun just being with my colleagues, felt absolutely fine, had a few glasses of wine but was definitely not drunk or even close.

We had dinner (which was not nice at all which made me think later that that was already a sign) and after coffee and exchanging silly presents we all got an iPod Nano 2gb engraved with 'Team Award 2006' because we did so well. Never getting a lot normally from the BAC made us all extremely ecstatic, I wanted one for ages but could never come up with a valid reason to buy one since I haven't an idea when I would use it if not on the yearly visit to Southampton!

I don't know if it was the excitement that did it but I suddenly felt VERY weird, nauseous, I thought the food was not agreeing with me so I had the idea to go to the toilet and see if I could evict it before I was going to feel even worse.

Well... I reached the toilet, managed to sit down but got SO dizzy that I was terrified because I felt I would never be able to get off the toilet ever and was half worried about all the fuss that that would cause. After a few minutes the wave of dizzyness and nausea went down a bit and I thought that if I hurried I could warn someone to tell them I wasn't feeling too good.

So.. I sort of made a run (read: stumble) outside the toilet and could only sort of shout 'Pete (my colleague) I need help' before I fell on the floor.

Apparently there was a huge panic at that time but luckily Pete was being a rock, put me into the recovery position and had someone call 999 or whatever they call it here.

I vaguely remember answering all sorts of silly questions (well.. they weren't silly I suppose, things like is she diabetic, does she take medicine, does she have allergies that sort of stuff) and apparently within a few minutes they were there talking to me and feeling me all over.

The ambulance men were very quick to come to the conclusion that I probably over ate and over drunk (which so wasn't true in this case ;)) and I just tried to tell them that this was SO not like me, that I do not GET fainty like that normally at all and things. They then sort of said 'lets try and sit up' and I did but never made it to the chair they wanted to put me on, passed out immediately again, can't even remember that happened, I was still on the floor in my perception and felt quite nice actually, like all was right with the world and why would one want to sit up anyway ;-)

The waves started to subside a bit and I managed to get to the ambulance where they did things like take my bloodsugar (spot on apparently) and took my bloodpressure (126 over 67) which apparently was very very good as well.

They explained to me that my body probably wanted all the energy to go to the stomach which is why my blood pressure dropped which is why I felt so awful and why I was breaking out in cold sweats.

So I got the choice of either going to the hospital or staying in the hotel (where the do was held, I had a room booked there) so I opted for staying in the hotel. Didn't fancy being on my own just then though I felt I could 'go' at any time again so my boss (bless him) went with me to my room and stay with me until I felt a bit more stable. Once I felt 'normalish' again I sent him home... (1.30 I hear, poor guy!) Didn't sleep much that night, I bet it was some sort of subconscious fear of not being able to wake up again but I did survive it so that was good! :-)

Next day was quite horrific because I felt so out of it due to lack of sleep and whatever it had been what took over my body! My colleagues were all lovely though, I told them I would try and milk this for a very long time! ;-)

So.. flying back in the afternoon of Thursday was OK, J. picked me up and I zonked out on the couch at 9, only woke up to go to bed and slept until 10 yesterday morning which made me feel a bit better. Today another 09:30 morning and I am slowly getting back to my 'normal' self.

According to my boss I had 'iPoditis', I was so thrilled with it that he thinks that is what made me pass out. :-) And I must say it is GREAT, it is magnificent the sound it produces through our proper computer speakers, fantastic!

Orange delight

2006-12-03T09:28:00.000Z

Yesterday was the monthly 'I cook for Gran' Saturday.... since our mother in law lives in our street we have fallen into a rythm of doing shopping on Saturday morning and then having lunch at Johns mums place who lives in our street. Very nice actually because she is a very good cook (even thogh she doesn't think so herself) and it is fantastic to be cooked for especially since she makes these 'old fashioned' dishes like kedgeree and shepherds pie and desserts like steamed pudding. Yam!

She is not so good herself in anything non British she always stays on the safe side so we have decided a few months ago that on the first Saturday of the month I make her lunch. I then always try to do something she would never make like pasta dishes and like yesterday vegetable curry (I don't think she was too sure about that one though, it might have been a step too far from the bland British customs ;-))

I also try to make a bit of an effort with a dessert and turned to lovely Delia. The idea was to do something with the leftover navel oranges I had lying around from a bogoff Tesco offer!
I fancied something like a trifle so..

What is needed if you plan to do this spiked caramelised orange trifle:

Sponge for 3 people (or check what I did)
Bit of liqueur (anything but orangy/fruity stuff preferred)
2 juicy navel oranges
2 table spoons of soft brown sugar
1 table spoon of brandy
1 table spoon Custard powder
1 table spoon sugar
250ml milk

I made my own sponge (since I had none in the house) by combining 1 egg, 60 gr self raising flour, 60 gr caster sugar and 60 gr flora butter and baked it in a cake tin on 180 degrees for 25 minutes. Since this amount is very small the 'cake' is very flat which gave it a lovely crunch all over, perfect for a trifle sponge.

I took 1 of the oranges and zested it, put zest aside. Then peeled both oranges and started on trying to cut the flesh out and leave the stringy bits. (Over a bowl) Well.. that totally failed so I gave up and just cut the orange parts in half making sure I cought any leaking juice from them in the bowl, I added the parts to the zest.

Then I took the brown sugar (well to be honest I didn't have any so I took 1,5 table spoon of demarara and added half a spoon muscovado sugar) added the about 1 spoonful orange juice in a small pan and heated it, first slowly to dissolve the sugar, then a bit more fierce until it really started foaming and waited until it slightly changed colour and got syrupy, then I added a splash of brandy and poored the mixture over the oranges.

Then I made custard, very easy to do in the microwave, 15 gr custard, 10 gr sugar, 250 ml milk. First add a bit of milk to the sugar custard mixture and stir to dissolve, then add the rest of the milk and put in the microwave for 2 minutes, then stir and keep on putting it back in the miccie 1 minute at a time check through the window constantly if it doesn't overflow, this should give a nice glossy creamy mixture which I left to cool a bit.

In the meantime I cut the left over sponge (oh ehm.. I forgot to say, careful if on a diet, it is impossible to not nibble the hard bits off and then have a gooey bit for good measure when the thing comes out of the oven!

Anyway, cut the left over sponge and divided it over 3 bowls, sprinkled liqueur over it then strained the oranges, set juice aside, added the orange and zest to the sponge then added the caramelised juice to the custard making the custard taste all orangy and luxurious because of the brandy. Then poored custard over sponge and oranges and put in fridge to stiffen.

It was a magnificent success! This will be an evergreen!

My Brother

2006-11-29T22:57:00.000Z

is the funniest guy I know...

I might be biassed, him being my brother and all, but the things he comes out with are so off the mark that it always seems to tickle my funny bone.

I suppose that since he cracks them in Dutch and they are a bit intranslatable they probably don't come across as well as they do in Dutch.

His newest one yesterday:

Me: 'So, has living on your own made you slimmer or fatter than you were?' (yeah this weight obsession is a family thing)

He: Well I am not sure but every time I step on the scales they start screaming NO, NOT WITH 2 PEOPLE AT ONCE!!!!!!

Hahaha..

Still makes me titter, even when knowing the punch line :)

Busy busy busy!

2006-11-09T21:20:00.000Z

Would you believe I have a new job?
Well.. more of an extra job really...

I got a nice new guy at work 'helping' me, which basically means that he does all the boring stuff (he doesn't think that it is though, that is lucky!) and I get to do the more in depth so for me more interesting stuff. Yay for me!

On one of the many conference calls I attend I made a few clever remarks and that same afternoon some hot shot called me and sort of begged me if he could ask my manager to help them implement something. Poor people had apparently tried to implement something for 7 months and I was the first one they met who actually seemed to know how to move on. Bless...

So.. my manager checked with me if I really thought I could handle this (YES YES I am EASILY bored, do give me more different things to do, PLEASE)

So now I am called a project manager and need to help implement a new thingy. Ooh.. the importance ;-)

My manager then sent the sweetest mail that has ever been sent out on an occasion like this, thought I'd share the bits that made me go 'ahhhh'...

Folks, we all know Tanja is a talented lady and it is only fair we share her talents with the rest of the organisation. We have received a plea to allow her to work with on the new . Her knowledge of is key to us getting a robust solution.
Tanja will continue to perform the while doing this.
This is a great opportunity for Tanja and I am sure you join me in wishing her well in her new adventure.

How sweet does that sound then!? Well.. anyway, it made me very happy :)

I must say I am busier than a busy thing now but enjoying every second of it!

Still managed to fit in a very nice way of making brussels sprouts pallatable even if you didn't fancy brussels sprouts!!

I cleaned and cut in half enough sprouts for 2 people and cut 1 big potato in chunks, then boiled them together for 20 minutes. In the meantime I chopped an onion and browned it slowly in a tiny bit of butter, then added a tin of ham (also in chunks) to it and browned it all nicely. Then added some chopped tomatoes and a few garlic cloves in bits to it all and stirred until softened.
Drained the sprouts and potatoes put them in an oven casserole, added some salt, pepper and nutmeg and put the ham tomato stuff over them, then let it stand to cool. (did this in my lunchbreak)

Then before I wanted to start dinner I made a roux (bit of butter, bit of flour and milk, all in a pan and boil, strangely enough it all comes together as a sauce :-)) melted parmesan and a few generous lumps of blue cheese in it, poured the mixture over the sprouts and tomato mixture and put the lot in the oven on 180 degrees (hot air oven, otherwise 200) for 20 minutes which made the top nice and brown.

Man.. what a FANTASTIC way to eat sprouts I tell ya!

Living healthily ever after

2006-10-27T13:35:00.000+01:00

It's autumn.
Raining all day here and blowing gails making me very chilly all over AND inside.
So .. what to have for lunch?
The normal 2 slices of bread? A salad? Brrr.... all too cold...
Pancakes then? Hmm.. bit fatty and stodgy and not good for all sorts of reasons.
Even more because I am REALLY trying to get this 'eat more fruit and veg rule' into my daily routine.

So... SOUP

The day that someone showed me how to make soup I didn't realise it was such a special day. My father always said that they could wake him up for 2 things, soup. and snigger

Anyway, it must be hereditary! I looooooove soup... so in our family we always used loads of cans, my mum worked so opening a can of soup was about all she fancied doing some days. Bit of bread with it, lovely.

I am not sure though if it is that 'way back when' the soups were nicer or that my taste has changed so much but I think all soups from cans are absolutely horrendous. Maybe I should try the 'fresh' variety but since that one not so famous day someone told me how to make soup I have given up on ready made.

Here is how to incorporate an example soup in your life :-)

First, the most important thing, a blender, now... loads of people (even Saint Delia Smith) always tell everybody to use a blender like what they use in American soaps to make milkshakes in. Totally silly I think, since the soup will then not only be stuck to the pan you make it in but also to the blender plus if you make soup for more people you have to blend in batches, totally rubbish I say!

So.. please, believe me, buy one of these
It doesn't have to be that brand or anything, anything with a bit of wattage will do.

So, here goes:

Say.. you work from home and you only have an hour of free time to take care of lunch and have a 20 minute walk because that is so good for you?

Get for 1 person:
Bit of butter or oil
1 small onion
2 tomatoes
small potato
1 tablespoon of tomato paste
stock cube
250-300 ml hot water
blue cheese

Chop onion, melt butter, insert onion and glaze, in meantime chop potato in small chunks, add to onions and stir, then chop tomatoes in chunks and add with stock cube, water + bit of white pepper, no salt and bring to the boil while stirring.

Then turn heat down so it is just simmering and go for your afternoon healthy walk. (20mins)

Come back, turn heat off, stick blender in and whiz until it is nice and smooth without bits.
Add crumbs of blue cheese to taste.

So.. why is this such a good recipe?

Dishes, only 1 pan, a choppingboard and knife and the blender stick all easy to clean. (okay to be fair all the plastic involved will turn into a nice orangie colour but eh!
Licopene! Or Lycopene? Don't know really.. but that is the red stuff, apparently that is so healthy for one because this fights all sorts of nasty cancerthingies and is apparently especially very good for men to ward off prostate cancer...
Low calories, even though there is butter and cheese involved, the butter is needed to deal with the vegetables and actually get out of them wat you can on the vitamine front, the cheese is so strong that you will only have a little bit but a huge taste experience so you won't need any extra salt.
The texture of the soup is out of this world, so smooth because the blender also adds some air to it, the potato works in a starchy way and links it all together.
Cheap, Tesco sells value tomatoes, onions are dirt cheap as well as potato's and even the blue cheese I bought for only 89 pence in Tesco and will last me for loads of soup experiences.
It has all the major foodgroups, protein from the cheese, fat from the butter, carbs from the potato and of course the great things from the veg. How is that for a balanced meal!

And the great thing is that you can make soup in the same way with any vegetable you like, I think I have done a few in this blog already like broccoli soup with sunflower pits, cauliflower leek soup with bacon and such.

The trick to all soups is, butter, onion, potato and any vegetable you like, then cook for 20 minutes and when you are a smooth soup fan like me, whiz it all together and enjoy!

(Any other soup recipes always welcome!)

Back!

2006-10-08T20:00:00.000+01:00

Well.... I can't say anything else but it has been LOVELY!

A whole month in Spain...

Before we went we were terrified that we would be bored out of our skull after 2 weeks but luckily the weather was so fantastic (4 weeks straight 30C) that it was enough to get in bathing gear and making the main event of the day getting in and out of the pool!

A bit sad though too... we are selling up so if you know anyone who wants to buy a house in Spain make sure to show them ours (www.elcalon.co.uk)

There is nothing whatsoever wrong with the house, it is perfect, we noticed that again when living in it for a month, there is nothing at all that I would like to change about it but..

.. we have changed so much...

The whole idea was to buy a house in Spain and then live there once we were retired, thinking we would have nothing to do so it would be nice to do the nothing in Spain for say 3 months a year over the winter period.

Then we found eBay and we love it, we like being busy and suddenly the idea of doing nothing was more scary than something to look forward to!

At the same time we would like to move to Norfolk to be closer to Johns kids and away from the Scottish weather which is slightly getting to us.

So, since our house in Scotland would not cover a house in Norfolk we have to sell the house in Spain, it is just to expensive to have all this money stuck there when we can use it so well here!

If we still want to have a holiday in that area we will have to rent a house, lots cheaper!

Now.. an impression :-)

This is me pointing to a mountain that we climbed, ever so brave I think :)

And dawn coming up (of course that was John, not me :-))

So.. now.. back to WORK (boohoo)!

Boxes and Blind Spots

2006-09-01T20:38:00.000+01:00

Did you see the news the last few days?
About this 12 year old girl called 'Molly' who went to Pakistan with her father and sister without telling her mother?

Apart from the discussion about how stupid it is to just take off and go to a far away country and not even leave a 'TTFN' note to your mum, I was fascinated by something else.

Did you see the mum? Hardly able to speak, move or do anything else that seemed remotely 'normal', trembling all over, taking small steps out of the press room. Her appearance a mess with a haircut that has probably been applied by either herself or a neighbour with kitchenscissors. How did she come across to you?

Now.. I totally understand that in the midst of despair one does not think of how one might come across on telly. (Although I promise you no amount of distress would keep me away from applying a bit of make up before going on camera knowing that every news room desperate for ANY news in this time of the year will repeat my shiny red face and puffy eyes about, oh, 100 times a day for a week, ok, you can call me vain!)

Anyway.. then today.. the father... dressed in one of those, famous for Pakistan, male dresses which probably have a name which I don't know. He looked magnificent with his big black beard, a bit like this guy who sings 'if I was a rich man'. Saying that Molly can do whatever she wants.

And of course there was Molly, beaming, radiating love for her daddy.

So... did she get shipped out to get married in Pakistan? Do I really care?

No...

I cared about my own reaction which was 'If I had a say I knew which parent I wanted her to be with'

It would definitely be mr Rich Man.

So.. .I wondered, why...

Why on earth do I think I can judge someone by looking at them for 20 seconds and reach conclusions like 'very emotionally instable, not quite there, missing a few bits here and there, not capable to look after a child'

AWFUL!!!!

But.. it is reality.. I liked this guy with the beard saying that the girl can do what she likes and if I was her I would like to stay with him as well even if I wouldn't approve of his clothes choice.

But... after having stopped beating myself up over it I realised that people do that with me too, all the time.

They look at me and decide who I am, what I am capable of, or not and they put me in one of the boxes they have in their heads for that purpose.

And I can't help being so curious - where do I fit, how am I perceived?

Talked to John about this and he just says he doesn't care. And I suppose I should go there, I am what I am and what everybody else believes is not important.

And he is right, it isn't, it wouldn't change me but I would try and set the record straight if I felt they had me all wrong. (thinks.. why is *that* so important to me.....)

I would for instance love to know how my manager perceives me, does he see me as some sort of clever secretary? Or as a full blown member of the department capable of proper project management? Does he look at my face and thinks 'gosh she has a lot of confidence' when I constantly think that the reason they pay me pittance and don't give me a proper contract MUST be because they think I am stupid but just didn't tell me yet and am a bundle of insecurity about loads of things a lot of the time.

Is the picture I have showing on our internal HAL website saying 'nice competent woman', 'uptight bitch', 'nice try', 'looks like a librarian' or 'clueless'?

When I was doing my college education we were told that everybody had a blind spot, that you know certain things about yourself ,that there are things you DON'T know about yourself but are able to learn through the course of your life but also that everybody has their blind spots.

That unsettled me a lot, I thought I quickly had to find out all there was to know about myself because the idea that someone could confront me with my blind spot and me not recognising it was too scary to contemplate (no idea why, I suppose I still cared a lot back then :-))

Anyway, off I went trying to find out as much as I could about myself so I would be prepared for that day that someone would say 'you are such and such' and I would gently smile and say 'yeah I know' and have one up on them.

And now.. because of this experience today, I know that it is all out of my hands, that no amont of me getting to know myself will prevent people reaching their conclusions in 2 minutes flat and of course, not telling me! So I can't check if they are right and adjust any misconceptions they might have.

So... the morale of this story?

It is *all* in the eye of the beholder and I just *have* to let it go.

I thought I would share this insight with you.

:-)

BIRD

2006-08-17T21:58:00.000+01:00

I had a bit of an unsettling day!! I am terrified of birds, stemming from an early childhood experience when my parents took me to Amsterdam to feed the pigeons and all those birds were all over me picking my hands and clawing in my head, when you are 5 pigeons are really big and somehow I have always been unable to get over this fobia!!

There is not a lot of need for me to get over it I suppose, as long as birds stay where they belong I am fine but this morning they didn't!!

Well, it didn't...

From my bed working away on my laptop (thank god for wireless) I heard a squeek from the kitchen and feared the worst, peeked from my bed through to the kitchen and yep... A FLYING THING. I totally panicked and ran to the bedroom door and closed it so I was safe.

After initial panic subsided I decided this was silly, I couldn't even go to the toilet so I was really brave and opened the door and peeked if I could see it just when I thought I couldnt' and thought of going into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee I heard another sound and a squeek so I threw the kitchen door shut giving me access at least to the bedroom, bathroom and back garden!

Still slowly de-panicking I decided to have a shower and review the situation after that. I know we have steps in the garage which I thought I could use to peek into the house from the outside. So.. that is what I did, started to look through the kitchen window and hooray, no bird, I really hoped it would have found its way out through the same window it got in!

But no.... when I looked into the lounge window I heard a bang and again a bang and it was clear that birdie was trying desperately to get out. Unfortunately time ran out... I had to attend a conference call for BAC and concentrate on that, so back into the bedroom and get laughed at by my Indian colleagues who just wanted to know what breed of bird it was!!! No sympathy there then!

After the call and getting really hungry and desperate for coffee I had another look from the steps into all the windows but couldn't see any bird, a lot of tiny bird poo droppings though.

Contemplating going in and it being stunned or dead or flying around frantically (can't decide which option would be worst!!) made me shiver so bad that I went to my last resort in the form of Johns mum who lives in our street. She laughed (of course pffff :-)) and came with me to slay the dragon.

So I let her go in all alone, while keeping the protecting kitchen door firmly closed and of course.. no bird.... nowhere... she was clapping her hands fiercely (as if her presence alone wasn't enough) but no moves at all.... all we could assume is that it flew out again.

And I know I should feel all better now, crisis averted, bird safe, me safe, all safe.

But of course with every 'strange' sound I think it came back to haunt me and it will take days before I don't get a reflex shock if a bird flies past our window a bit too close!

New shoes

2006-07-27T19:11:00.000+01:00

Well, yeah, I know.. haven't been writing for ages.. don't really know what about but since Marije asked me if she could link to my blog I was reminded about it again :)

So.. yeah.. I've been busy, first been to our department 'do' which meant that I had to fly to Southampton, 'work' for 1 day, had the do all Tuesday and 'worked' again on Wednesday when I flew back again.

Well.. that was exciting!!
There was some sort of communication disruption (BT they said) on Southampton and they cancelled all !!! flights!

In itself minor crisis, I mean .. BAC pays for my flights and hotels so that was covered, BUT ,it turned into major crisis because the next morning I was supposed to fly to Amsterdam to be part of Kevins birthday! (My OLD kid is now 21 and officially a grown up!)

Anyway.. .it is was definitely a case of adopting the great BAC adagio of 'how am I going to project manage my way out of this one!!'

So... put down the strategic model of :

Current situation vs Wanted situation hampered by what helped by what.

(Did you know hot shots earn thousands by milking this model?)

It was easy to determine what hampered me getting to my wanted situation of getting my butt into Glasgow ASAP - Bloody Southampton Airport.

Luckily I had my mobile and the phone number of my favorite colleague and he directed me to the train where I found out how to get to Heathrow while he booked a ticket with BA to Glasgow for the pricely sum of 191.10 pounds! Dear me! So glad I didn't have to pick that bill up myself!

So, after 3o minutes train, an hour in a hot bus, a 2 hour wait on Heathrow and an hour flight to Glasgow I arrived home at 23:30.

Only to leave again on the Prestwick bus the next day at 13:09

How is that for having a pitstop!

Then.. Holland.....

Kevin was over the MOON with his present (notice the birthday hat that I specially brought for him) and all the attention and I am so glad I went after all, we had a brilliant evening.. I must say.. loads of wine went through my system lately!
So now.. I am trying to get used to living a stable less exciting life which is a bit weird after all this excitement!

The weather is threatening to get bad here for days now but it has been nothing than holiday weather and my system has enormous trouble accepting that I need to work!

How one suffers!

Big city

2006-06-06T17:48:00.000+01:00

Well... I am here... in the middle of London..
I can't believe how not used I am anymore to a city.
Walking to where my course is is plain dangerous, cars everywhere!
And noise...

It is unbelievable what an assault a city is to your senses, screeching tubes, roaring motors, masses of taxis and buses, bad singing in the metro stations, so much to see, all that dust everywhere, I forgot how DIRTY cities are.

The area I am in is very close to 'Liverpool Street', which apparently is the heart of the financial part of the city, which means there are masses of 'suits' running around, and I mean running, nobody seems to just pootle along, it is all QUICK QUICK QUICK, frantic!!

For someone interested in food it is absolutely magnificent the amount of choice one has here. A lot of 'latte' factor.. I think half of all these running around people have either a big cup of expensive coffee in their hands or a mega big baguette.

My hotel is simple but SO exactly right. It has all I would ever want.. well... maybe a bath would have been nice but the powershower is lovely too! I even have a nice little couch in my room and a desk and a hair dryer and coffee and tea things and I get a showercap every day (which I then steal of course) - no cool shampoo and stuff to take home though, they have these dispensers with shampoo and showergel and other soap. Oh well... can't have it all I suppose!

Found the greatest little restaurant across of the hotel.. it is a pizzeria but the posh trendy version where they sell the pizza per yard. Quite nice.. they consider 'a glass of wine' to consist of 250ml.. thinks... how many units is that!!! It is a good thing I only have to roll 'home'. :-)

Oh and what is this thing about 'water'? Everybody is walking around with bottles of water, all the shops are overflowing with bottles of posh stuff and in my favorite restaurant they keep on asking if I would like some water and look really surprised and worried if I said, tapwater will be fine. I first thought it was because they can't really charge me for that but I think it is more that for them it it so rare to meet someone who dares drink tapwater. Interesting! Oh well. since they do know how to make good food I will let them off!

And the course is fun too would you believe! Almost forgot to mention that.. normally I am really really bored on courses, they are too slow in general.. this one is different, yesterday the teacher almost went too fast for me which is something that never happened to me. Today was a bit better because it is getting more difficult now and the rest of class is struggling so she needs more time to save them :). It is a bit unfair on them though, I have been working with all of this for about a year now and just lack the basic structure when they probably see all of it for the first time, it is fantastic to get all my blanks filled in!

Only 2 nights before I fly back again, then a month pause and then flying to Southampton again, pff.. .rains it pours and all that! Wish I had something like this in boring end of November or something... maybe I should try and steer in that direction :-) Having said that.. part of the enormous fun I am having at the moment is the lovely weather I suppose, can't really expect that in November ;)

It is also lovely to watch all my rubbish on TV WITHOUT feeling guilty :) Poor John has to suffer so much, from Strictly Dance Fever to Big Brother to xFactor Battle of the Stars etc... when he is more interested in the digestive system of the egyptian tigershark or something like that! Only downside is I miss him like hell.. it is just not the same without him snoring next to me on the couch and me trying to find the perfect balance between the volume just so I can hear it over the snoring but not so loud it wakes him up. :-)

The little joys in life eh... for now I will have to cope with a big double bed just for me :-)

How I suffer....

Wine and Dine

2006-06-02T16:38:00.000+01:00

Oh joy... temperature is rising - Sunday morning I am flying off to LONDON
Big city girl - same girl, different city

I wonder how it feels, I thought Glasgow was overwhelming, wondering if I am de-city-ing without realising it.. maybe I am more a suburb girl than a city girl after all :-)

Anyway, it will all be good fun, leaving early on Sunday, going to the hotel and trying to get online (everything feels more organised if you have access to the internet don't you think? Me? Addicted? Neh!! :))

Then going to THE SHOPS I think... or just browse and see where I have to be on Monday to attend this cool Domino Designer course. Had to ask my boss person what it is I am actually doing. Bit embarrassing really. I knew I was working with databases and manipulating data and that I work with developers and have to tell them what to code (using the agreed processes).

Learned now that it is a database application that I work on, very educational indeed. And now I am going to be taught the fundamentals of designing one of those databases because I keep on feeling I have fallen right in the middle of all this code and miss the basics. So hope I will not be bored out of my skull. But eh.. I like the hotel experience in itself and the fact that I can choose which restaurant to use as long as I keep under 25 quid. Not sure if that is enough in London, I guess I will be OK as long as I stay away from the Ivy or Fifteen.

I saw this advert though, that you could go to the musical 'Les Miserables' including dinner at Planet Hollywood for 25 quid!! Now.. that sounds interesting.. decided to not book but see how it all feels when I am there though. :)

Apparently I am in the middle of the financial part of the 'City' - Liverpool Street is on walking distance.. so nice of BAC to organise a course in the middle of where things happen. Much better than in the middle of nowhere where I have to go when I visit my yearly do in July, lovely hotel but NOTHING around but country roads, this is a lot better!! :)

So tomorrow, packing, bbq-ing, wining, sleeping and go...

Exciting!

Release your inner bag lady....

2006-05-31T21:40:00.000+01:00

This has always been my biggest fear:

http://wanderingscribe.blogspot.com

And I am not talking about how she got a book deal and all came good after all...

:-)

David Blaine and Magic

2006-05-27T22:24:00.000+01:00

So, am I the only one?

Who does not just hate David Blaine and all his stupid undertakings but hates anything magical apart from Eurodisney?

It is supposed to be great, to be entertainment, we are all supposed to be in awe when they do their magnificent tricks but it just makes me very very very VERY uneasy.

Like... in the program about David Blaine tonight (Drowning Alive) they showed clips of him asking a person to think of a card and a minute later that person gets a call on their cell phone showing that particular card as the caller.

Very clever indeed.

So why does it leave me angry?

I suppose I feel fooled, embarrassed, left out, stupid, unable to work it out and I can't get ANY pleasure of something I do not 'get'.

It is probably very clever that he and all the other magicians are able to do these tricks but if I never ever see another magic trick again it will be too soon!

Sometimes... it is gorgeous here!

2006-05-25T20:50:00.000+01:00

The picture doesn't do it justice really.... the dark rocks in the front, the houses on the other side but I think you get a good idea how nice it is when it doesn't rain for a little while :)

The joys of technology

2006-05-25T07:58:00.000+01:00

Dear me...

What drama's! Remember I said my harddrive crashed?
Well... it sort of got back to working again after it moved its bootsector and I have been trying to get information of my old drive since the first sound of marbles jumping up and down in my harddrive...

Used Norton Ghost, created an entire backup image of my C: drive because I was told after that I could browse the backup and only put back the files I really wanted. Well.. when I finally received my lappie back with the new harddrive and the BACs standard image I first tried to browse the image I had put on an external drive (13gb image...) to pick out a few of the most important files and directories.... 'browsing this file is not supported'. Oh blow...

After trying a few more times I thought that it was probably because I did an image of my entire hard drive and had the brilliant idea to just put the entire harddrive back on my new one... Well... that resulted in a 'disk read error' and nothing else. Nothing I could do.

So.. lappie back to the BAC kitchen again for another refresh with the BAC image.

So yesterday finally I got it back and manually installed again all the programs I need to use to do my job.

And today.. normality returns... I am of course still searching all over the place for passwords and login names and I find it remarkable how many things you don't realise you use!

I have now installed the BAC's own backup tool and today after using most of my favorite programs and sites and therefore installing all cookies and passwords and things I will try and backup it in total. I must say.. it is nice to have such a fresh start, it is like having a spring clean but I am sure that over time I will realise all the things I didn't know were important until they died in the HD crash...

But.. all that is totally unimportant!

My mum had to go to a skin doctor because she had an awkward bit of skin on her cheek which her GP didn't trust, yesterday she got the result! It is 'just' sun damage and will be 'frozen' away on the 16th of June, not very nice but we are all over the moon that it is not skin cancer of the bad kind, hooray!

Who cares about lost data anyway!

The Da Vinci Code

2006-05-12T22:01:00.000+01:00

Yes.. that is also something I did when I was in Holland.
Finally read the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, Karin had it lying around her house and I wanted to know what the buzz was all about. Generally these bestsellers are not bestsellers for nothing!

I didn't think I would like it, I am not very interested nor engaged where it comes to 'the Holy Grail' and such. It doesn't mean anything to me at all so couldn't imagine I would be attracted.

I have this sort of free religion inside of me (thinks maybe I should start one myself, Tori Amos always sang that 'I have got enough guilt to start my own religion' and I know what she means :)) I feel that God (or however you want to call him) is good and not such a bad guy as some religions let us believe and I am sure that Jesus was a very nice and talented man but I always have a hard time to believe all these miracles and holyness surrounding him.

When I hear people talk about their religion I always get this tight feeling around my chest because they want to stuff it all in a little box where I feel the more godding something is, the more space it needs. (Lost you yet? :-))

I felt this much needed space in his ideas in this book (that Jesus might have been married and have a child and not the saint he has been made into). I love the fact that the book describes it as a theory but also leaves space for your own conclusions and then leaves it all alone and turns into a riveting thriller that keeps you hovering between reading quickly wanting to know how it ends and slowing down because you don't want it to end.

And now.. the movie.. I want to see it now.. to see if it is true what the reviews say, that the film is even better than the book, I think this film might break all records ever made in film land, can't wait!

Oh and if you want to know what the buzz is all about, cheap 2nd hand ones at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/detail/offer-listing/-/0552149519/all/202-7002370-6273447

Update

2006-05-10T19:06:00.000+01:00

Well... it has been a hell of a week and a bit!

I have flown to Holland
I went to the zoo with my mother (aren't we cute?!)

Visited my brother and his kids and his girlfriend
Went shopping daily (and therefore meet my son :-)) in my favourite supermarket
Underwent a 90 minute massage donated by my friend (those are GOOD friends to have!)
Watched masses of girlie movies
Had nice long walks since the weather was fantastic - it felt like summer!
Ate nice Dutch food like proper chips with fritessauce, kroketten and vlaflip
Bought 1 kilo of drop
HAD A HARD DISK CRASH (capitals because that was VERY scary!!!! My lappie kept on saying 'disk read error')
Had the insight to press the 'access IBM' button while starting up and from all the icons I saw I thought 'diagnostics' sounded like a good start which thank God brought it back to life.
Went to dinner with my dad, his wife and her daughter and partner (my stepsister who I hadn't met before, at least, not that I can remember)
Did the 'anti stress arrangement' in the most fantastic spa I have ever seen and got a tan (well a red face really)
Had a few drinks with my son, mum and my friend and closed the visit with a nice fulfilling shoarma with french fries (quite an event since I had been looking forward to that for quite some time.
Flew back again
Sent my dad a thank you note for taking me to the airport at sparrowfart and included the picture above.
Got told off by return for doing so because 'that marriage is a closed story' and 'please do not send that kind of pictures again'.

Which was a very pissy end of an otherwise fantastic long week in my life. (Thinks... goodness you are 70, get over it, it is 23 years ago, it IS still my mother, you DID create me with HER, and I am on this picture too, but eh, he is 70 so I said 'ok, message received' )

Took it out on the garden. Have decided to suffocate the weeds since I can't win otherwise.

Luckily it is a lovely period, masses of sun and gardening is proving to be a very cleansing experience.

So why are these called bluebells?

Exactly!

2006-04-25T19:59:00.000+01:00

Oh dear...

John and I were talking about how people always say the same thing over and over when they speak...

Like... Shayne always says 'to be honest' when what he says has nothing to do with being honest or not it is just something that is pushed in whenever he feels like it. Can't blame the boy really it must be a bit unnerving all these endless interviews.

Anyway.. of course we talked about what we say too often and we have discovered that John says 'Fantastic!' all the time and I am guilty of 'Exactly'. We have also now found out we BOTH use these words a lot :-)

Taking a bit of a distance and looking at those words I can see that we are very positive people who agree with eachother an awful lot!

So .. what happens now is that we have become very aware of these words which has made me very self concious, it is so irritating that only after it has escaped my mouth I think 'shit, said it again!'

I know with learning (or unlearning I suppose) there are 4 stages:

unconciously unable
conciously unable
conciously able
unconciously able

Which basically means that first you didn't know you did something, then you realise you do but you still can't do anything about it, then you are able to change it but it costs a lot of effort and then you become so good at it that it becomes so normal you don't have to think about it anymore.

Since I discovered my over enthusiastic use of Exactly! I hear myself say it all the time, but can I change it?? NO! I am definitely stuck in phase 2 and have no idea on how to go to stage 3.

I have tried to think about alternatives for the word in the hope that it would then be easier to alternate it a bit with other words but apart from precisely I can't really think of any other words which means exactly (!) the same :-)

There are of course alternatives like 'Bang on' or 'Spot on' but I think these are even worse than my 'Exactly!'

So when I muttered and mumbled about this to John, that I think the word is used exactly(!) right and that I struggle to find good alternatives for it (Fantastic b.t.w. is also a very difficult word to replace!) to which he said 'Darling, you can use exactly as much as you like'

But that doesn't feel right either, see... these stages as described above, you can never go back, I will now forever be stuck in the consciously unable stage and forever hear myself say 'Exactly!' and think 'BUM'!!

:-)

Make Up and Over

2006-04-21T21:25:00.000+01:00

Today a nice self obsessed blog, might as well be clear about it :-)

When John was visiting his beloved children I had a bit more time on my hand than usual and I don't know why but I suddenly had this idea to photograph myself through my routine of make up. Not that I use that much mind you but I am always amazed how different it can make me feel. I know that a big part of that is all in my mind.

I mean.. I know that make up most certainly helps to make me look better, I am not one of these women that can get out of bed and look nice and fresh and wonderful. I am more of the type of hair all over the place, shiny fatty face and bland, very bland.

I must say that working from home doesn't help, nobody knows what I look like when I am on the phone on conference calls and putting make up on often feels like a waste of good make up so a bit of moisturiser just has to do, if I scare myself with my blandness too much I might go as far as adding a bit of lipstick or kohl to my face but that is it.

So, 'gettng out of the house to see other people apart from the people walking their dogs in Wemyss Bay' is a bit of an event which requires loads of attention and make up. You can imagine that a visit to Glasgow was a perfect reason to do it properly.

And I don't know why but I suddenly had to think about all the 'make over' things they do in the magazines, you can't open a woman magazine without one of those in it so I thought I would try it myself and prove a point while doing so.

On the left is me, freshly showered (so not so shiny anymore :-)) and me on the right WITH make up - I think myself it is a pity that I didn't take a photograph of my wet fringe down on the left picture because now you can't really properly compare how much difference it makes. What I notice from these pictures is that I have a droopy mouth!! Wonder if that is old age? But why only on one side of my face! My right mouth corner has dropped dramatically I think. I do think I look better with the make up but the difference is not as spectacular as I feel it to be if you know what I mean. I feel I look a lot better than this picture shows me to look. Erhm.. hope you are still with me.. my point being... if you take a before and after photo with a sort of the same look on your face the effect is not dramatic at all. Interesting is that you can see that I almost smile on the after one.. I suppose that is the make up effect, feeling better for it :)

But now.. to part 2 of my experiment... the following picture shows another after picture which is more like the ones you see in those magazines:

And I don't know about you but this looks much more like a dramatic difference, not only by the smile (which takes care of the droopy mouth nicely) but also because of the colorful cardigan I am wearing.

So.. lesson here... don't believe those make over pictures in those magazines, if they would get these people to smile and let them wear the same clothes the effect would not be that dramatic!

Note to self: Smile more but keep mouth closed because of crown

:-)

House & Son

2006-04-20T19:06:00.000+01:00

Ha!

House is brilliant television I must admit... can't choose today which remark was more brilliant 'babies are useless, they have hearts the size of ping pong balls' or 'Does it occur to you if you need that kind of friend you may have made some deeper errors'? :-) Can't even say WHY it is so funny, they just tickle me :)

And totally not interlinked, my son suddenly, out of nowhere sent me a link to a 1 hour 29 minute video of 'The Umbilical Brothers' - Now... I am way too busy and not patient enough to watch anything for that long but I am sure some of the 3 readers of this blog would actually enjoy this.

Isn't he cute? :)

Poor neighbours 2

2006-04-18T22:07:00.000+01:00

Yay!!!

Remember that I said I enjoyed the music (and screaming at the top of my lungs) so much and that our speakers were not that good anymore (very bad actually)

When I was talking to John about how we deserve good music, good speakers and a good life in general (always a good way to pave the path to buying something new) he said he had thought the same thing!

Well... whaddayaknow!

So I went for a hunt on ebuyer, generally THE place to buy any new stuff with a plug and we really liked the Logitech Z-2300 - all the reviews I have seen were very good, maybe not high end stuff but then again we are not like my brother who is one of those high end hifi people and makes his own speakers with special wood and in special shapes to get a certain resonance and all that.
He once owned a car that gave you a back massage as well as ruined your hearing, all at the same time, boom cars they call those. I will NEVER forget hearing the Fugees in that, 'Ready or Not' was... organic!

Anyway, I digress...

The Z-2300... I already added it to my basket and was on the way out when I thought 'hang on, lets check if there is anything bad on google' and no, all good reviews so that was ok.. but I did notice they were a lot cheaper in the US on Amazon and of course from there thought, hmm... lets check Amazon, you never know!

And wahey! They are cheaper in total because Amazon doesn't charge any shipping if you are a patient old thing (which we are) so I just saved us a tenner.. and that feels good!

Can't wait to get the clarity of a tweeter with the richness and fullness of a separate midrange - always wanted one of those. (side note, do you know that site? http://www.iwantoneofthose.com)

So somewhere end of this or beginning next week the neighbours will really get it.

Note to self: 'Do not dry any laundry while testing speaker system'

:-)

Spring? Autumn? Oh no, spring! Huh, winter?

2006-04-17T18:46:00.000+01:00

That is how it went today, gorgeous sunshine followed by masses of rain, cold, drab, murky. Then.. glorious sunshine again! This is when I nipped out and took this picture, I thought I'd better hurry and take one before the winter spell arrived!

And of course would you believe, only an hour or so later the hail started coming down... this is definitely one of those '4 seasons in a day' day in Scotland!

Glad to say John is all back in one piece and all is good with the world...

I don't think I aggrevated any neighbours this morning during my Miserables outburst, glad I got that out of my system.

So...tomorrow.. back to HAL again... Oh Joy!

Poor Neighbours

2006-04-16T20:19:00.000+01:00

One thing I do when John is not here is listen to music he absolutely hates!

Doing this made me notice that I have a bit of an eclectic taste :-)

I went from Mathilde Santing (Dutch singer with a gorgeous voice) to Lori Carson (ok, not such a big jump) to the Fugees (bigger jump, sexy music, had to dance silly of course thinking of yesterdays movie pretending I was one of those sexy black girls) via Verdi's requiem (which brought me to tears once more - Libera me - does it every time) to the somewhat lighter Shayne Ward and Rowetta (yeah sorry, I have this xFactor thing going on and I needed something lighter after Verdi) to KT Tunstall with her cherry tree - live - very 'lekker'.

Made me ponder of course why I never do this when I am at home with John, I could always put the headphones on... and I know now why, I am unable to just listen to music. I need to sing and shout and dance and bop and apart from that it is a bit restrictive to do all that with headphones I wouldn't want to do it to John!

And.. oh dear.. I just went into our utility kitchen where we keep the fridge and washing machine and dryer... and of course I forgot that I was drying some clothes for which of course the window needs to be open. Oh dear... that means during my Verdi outburst (which was extremely loud - through bad (died and therefore making horrible noises from what should be serene sound) loudspeakers and me screaming at the top of my lungs that the window has been open. Only 5 meters or so away.

Poor poor neighbours.. I will now as a good girl go to my couch, under the duvet and watch 'a dragon of a movie' (as we call it in Holland) on ITV -

But.. tomorrow... I will check all windows are closed and I will belt out 'Les Miserables' in full.

In Dutch!

I mean... what are double glazed windows for anyway!

Fantastic!

2006-04-15T19:47:00.000+01:00

I had such a good day!

Woke up in time to catch the train I planned to take (which was quite an achievement since I didn't set the alarm and John wasn't there to kick me out of bed!)

Browsed around a couple of shops but noticed I enjoyed it a lot more to take in all the goings on of the city - things I forgot about happen in a city, absolutely LOVED it... Saw at least 4 bagpipers (I am such a tourist, I love that), a man covered in gold pretending to be a statue, a fantastic jazz band, a few not so brilliant but still ok singers and a loud juggler.

I stepped into House of Fraser and went to the nice smells and creams department but I must admit that was too intimidating, all these people trying to sell you something, or when I wanted whatever they wanted to give away I seemed to be invisible. Always wonder what that is? Do I not look posh enough? Young enough? Old enough? Do they really not see me? I know the grumpy old women always say that, that over 40 you become invisble, maybe it has happened to me already. Not sure what I think about that but it did make me just want to run out of the place!

Anyway, after that shock I moved onto the main event and bought a cinema ticket. Luckily that process was exactly the same as in Rotterdam so it wasn't too daunting. :-)

Then.. went to TGI Friday... we have one in Holland but I never actually visited it, it took me about 3 years to realise that 'TGI' means 'Thank God its'. Hm... shows you how out of touch I am! Anyway... thought this was the perfect opportunity to have lunch.

I must say.. it was a bit of a culture shock and brought home to me how enormously I have changed since I am living here.. I looked at the menu and it hit me that you could only get masses of food on a plate.. I started to feel full just looking at the menu!

Every dish seemed to have things like 2 chicken breasts AND fries AND onion rings (the thought crossed my mind that they probably thought that those rings would make it a balanced meal (being vegetables and all that ;-)). Anyway.. I dithered about just going but there was this very cute waiter so I thought I'd sit it out and have something I would normally NEVER make myself.. spareribs.. the last time I ate those must have been 6 years ago when I had these sort of outings at least once a week....

That definitely changed! And after enjoying half of my ribs, fries and onion rings I decided it was a good change! I like my own cooking I'm afraid, even though the ribs were very nicely made (ring and fries were awful unfortunately) I now know I will not have the need to visit them again :-)

Oh.. and then he tried to charge me 6 pound more than was on the menu.. being a bit scared of any language difficulties I so hoped this would not happen. But it so infuriated me that I went up to the guy and put him right, saw he got scared, real scared and it was solved in minutes, phew! I really felt something stubborn happening, like they can drag me to the police if they like but I am NOT going to pay for this! It was all very exciting!

I must say... Glasgow has enough shops to keep a woman happy for days and I don't know if it is the protected life in a village with 1 Spar but I felt a bit overwhelmed with all the choice and happy that it was movie time.

I know.. 'Take the lead' is not one of those filmhouse films and will not get an Oscar I am sure, however I loved it, absolutely every minute of it. It was quick filmed, I absolutely love to watch Antonio Banderas and sexy dancing, it was all there.. and of course it was a great feel good movie. I had forgotten how nice it is to see a movie properly, on such a big screen, there is something so intimate about it even when around you are a bunch of strangers.

Note to self.. need to do this more often, it was great!!

Oh.. and when I bought myself a lovely proper Easter Egg because I felt I deserved it (and because it has been tradition in my family since I was small to get one) I bowled over the cashier of Sainsbury who commented on its beauty by telling him I bought it for myself. "Really? But it has a bow and everything" he said, hovering my change in mid air "You're pulling my leg!". "Nope! I said, it is for me!" and he said "people who feel they are worth enough to buy themselves nice things are confident people" and I saw him thinking "need to give myself some of that".

:-)

Enjoy Easter!

Big City

2006-04-14T20:51:00.000+01:00

And.. my prayers have been heard!
Ok.. it hissed down in places today but Eric (ehm.. our version of 'God' or 'The Universe') was being nice, it just happened to only piss down when I was actually in the car!

Good stuff...

Actually felt some sun today and ripped some weeds out of the garden. Nice feeling.

Now all I need to do is pray for it to be like that tomorrow when I plan my yearly trip to Glasgow.

Bad isn't it... I have been living here now for over 5 years but I can still count the times I went to Glasgow on one hand, and I haven't even been once to Edinburgh.

Also, there is this ferry going back and forth in front of our window all day, all the way to Rothesay... and we keep on saying 'we should take that ferry one day'

Yeah right.. chances are we will die without having seen Edinburgh nor Rothesay.

And then I think.. does is it matter?

Why does everybody say 'Oh REALLLLLYYYYYY?' When I say I hardly ever visit Glasgow. Am I missing something and if so, what? Can someone tell me? Because apart from a few shops they don't have in the Oakmall (like Debenhams, Primark and Next) I can't think of anything that I need to visit Glasgow for. Sometimes I wish that someone would invite me on a 'let me show you Glasgow' sort of trip, maybe they can convince me ;-)

For now.. I will visit my favorite shops tomorrow and squeeze in a visit to a big cinema, I miss that part of city life.

Along with a proper sauna :-)

I need spring!

2006-04-13T23:09:00.000+01:00

OK... I am fed up with this winter!

It has either been ice cold and dry or mild and very wet and even though there are nice juicy green buds on some bushes here, today for a change it was very cold, wet AND windy!

I am dreaming of having a nice cup of coffee in the sun on the back terrace - I don't mind if I have to keep my coat on or anything, just feeling the sun.. I look like a ghost in the mirror unless I use my very very expensive Clinique foundation.

We have had springs here that John had to take his top off because it was too hot in the garden in March! And now it is half April and it is not even pretending to get nice any time soon!

Looking at the forecast it will be another 4 days of mild but wet - mutter mumble.

Ordered a compost bin today - only 6 pound in Inverclyde, not bad eh? If you fancy one, have a look here

I looked at the animation on how to deal with the bin and I did notice that it is for patient people. It takes 1 year!!! for nice earth to compost out of the bottom.

It *is* probably better than the 'just chuck it on the cliff' attitude we have adopted so far :-)

We will miss the 'banana tree creations' though!

Why we fit together so well

2006-04-12T21:05:00.000+01:00

Conversation on the couch tonight watching someone make a chocolate sandwich and me salivating:

John: "I bet you would fancy that, it is like asking 'Do crocodiles fart in the water' - which - as a matter of fact is the new generation of 'Do bears pooh in the woods'.

Me: "Well, how do you know that crocodiles fart in the water"

John: "Good point, why don't you look it up on Google 'Do Crocodiles fart'

Me: "nope, no results"

John: "What, you? Not find anything? Maybe under 'Crocodiles flatulate'

Me, all Pollyanna "Well, I can't find Crocodile flatulate but apparently Cockroaches flatulate every 15 minutes"

:-)

How to make money at a carboot :-)

2006-04-09T22:44:00.000+01:00

Wait until you get at least the 3rd offer from one of those catalogues companies. The one where they promise you AND money off AND give you a present. (La Redoute was really good this year). Then buy a few t-shirts you would have bought anyway for the summer and get the money off *and* the free present which in this case was a bag on a trolley with a matching vanity case, then put a tag on saying '£5 brand new' and see it grabbed before you can say 'seen my nice trolley?'

:-)

Bird Flu in Scotland

2006-04-07T18:22:00.000+01:00

Well.. I am not worried :-)

It could be that I am not worried because the one bird that has been proved to have the strain was found on the other coast.

It could also be that I have adopted the same attitude as most Brits - stoical.

What I have noticed since I have lived here is the almost total absence of drama connected to these kind of issues.

It is one of the most surprising discoveries for me living here. When Diana died I was in awe of the amount of people who went to her funeral or who put flowers down and all the display of emotion. I had always been told that Brits are reticent and do not like these displays of emotion at all!

What I have learned is that there is a lot of emotion going around in this country, births of babies of MP's are shown on the national news, deaths of famous people (hero's like George Best) seem to be shown for ever and loads of display of emotion around these subjects.

Compare that to the emotion about the London bombings, I was so impressed with the way that was dealt with, how quick the police got onto the leads of the people who did this. Awful to see all these hurt people but somehow there wasn't that much emotion nor drama attached to it, not by the media and not by the victims. It was all about 'OK, this happened, it is absolutely horrific but we now have to move on and not let it get to us'. 'We are British'.

And now..the bird flu...

Did you know that in other countries the poultry consumption has gone down dramatically? And that France for instance still is 20% under the normal level?

So not in the UK, mind you, sales have not been affected at all, there were even more eggs sold than normally (well.. thinks.. it *is* almost Easter I suppose :))

I saw a short interview on the TV asking a woman 'Are you going to still eat chicken?' and she answered 'Of course! I am British'!

Which made me think where that remark came from? What does it matter if she is British? Bird Flu doesn't seem to care a lot which country it lives in! Then I realised.. it is not that, it is the fact that in times of aversity this is how to behave. You DO NOT give in, you defiantly go with the flow and do what you would normally do and at the same time 'combat' whatever it is that is threatening you.

I bet there is huge historical reasons for this :-)

Televangelist

2006-04-05T22:20:00.000+01:00

Televangelist
You are 0% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST! Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (or a very despotic one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings. Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. You could easily fleece people of their money and their dignity like so many sheep. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive shit spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE. Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening. Except for a few bums. But they just want you to feed them crackers and wine.

Gosh.... interesting test indeed, stolen from N's blog ;-)

If you want to try it yourself: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506

Fun actually ;-)