What is going on today!!!
There is this datingsite I browse around (as I have mentioned before) and I must say the last days the interest in me has died down, I think to be honest, that only fresh meat is looked at so, for anyone considering this, make the most of the first few days.
Today seems to be a different day though.. I suddenly got 3 different 'I am interested' mails all from young guys, and when I say young I mean YOUNG, like 23, 25 and 21!! All saying that they love older women and want to have sex with me. Like.. TONIGHT.. and that they would give me massages and all that.. first I thought they were a team of friends but I checked their profiles and they seem to be for real..
Unfortunately my system is not working like that.. I tried to tell one of them that if you want to have sex with an older woman you have to at least pretend to be able to hold a conversation and be interested. He didn't really see the point and said that he has done this with many older women on that site.
And I think .. is this the new way for singles having sex? Just get a nice juicy guy from the internet for a quick fix? I wondered if today there was an article in some newspaper about this because 3 within one evening is a bit weird!
So just when I thought 'oh well it was fun' I started watching the movie 'A Beautiful Mind' in which the following scene took place:
Nice (though of course weird man) sits across woman in bar and says nothing.
Woman looks all helpful and says: "maybe you would like to buy me a drink"
Man says softly while he bends over towards her: "I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me but can we assume that I have said all that because we are basically speaking about fluid exchange aren't we so can we go straight to the sex"
And I thought.. is this normal? Is this really what goes on in a man's mind even when I think they are genuinely interested in who I am and what I have to say?
One wonders...
:-)
If only the count wasn't on holiday, he would tell me straight.
Or... does age matter in this area? In which case the count would not represent all age groups.. need to find a few older ones as well... I will keep this under review and let you know if I find out! In the meantime all insights into this subject are gratefully received!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Children
Or just the one really..
I just want the record to show that I have the best kid in the whole wide world.
It is absolutely amazing how that child has conquered all that life has thrown at him and he is only 22.
First his parents divorced when he was 4 (and he remembers every second of the moment we told him) then he had to sit through all my and Tons partners which I tell you was an ordeal.
Many babysitters, my mum with an alcoholic boyfriend, a dubious sister in law, then thank God professional afterschool care who did all the things with him normal parents should have done.
Then finally when all should have gone normally his mum packs up to go to Scotland and the stepmum he adored committed suicide. And that all before he was 19.
Tonight.. he and his girlfriend (10 months already, they are so proud) came to visit. And honestly.. if I would have been so together at 22 my life would have been a lot different.
He has grown up. Task finished and even though I think I did a crap job as far as jobs go, he turned out absolutely fabulous, he has managed to give all happenings meaning and sees already what he has learned from it and is grateful for me to give him the ability to see these lessons.
And he can love and can allow to be loved.. what more do you want for your child really?
He is getting his life together, is changing from being an angry reactive adolescent to a pro-active grownup who is telling his mum she should accept herself fully, that it is time and I find myself asking him.. my little boy, how he suggests doing that - world on its head.
He is starting a new college education in 2 weeks.. to do with life what he really wants, working with groups of young people and make them enthusiastic for whatever he feels they should do.
I am bursting with pride.. He is going to be OK, whatever happens. What a relief. I didn´t screw him up totally after all.
Thank God. And Kevin.
I just want the record to show that I have the best kid in the whole wide world.
It is absolutely amazing how that child has conquered all that life has thrown at him and he is only 22.
First his parents divorced when he was 4 (and he remembers every second of the moment we told him) then he had to sit through all my and Tons partners which I tell you was an ordeal.
Many babysitters, my mum with an alcoholic boyfriend, a dubious sister in law, then thank God professional afterschool care who did all the things with him normal parents should have done.
Then finally when all should have gone normally his mum packs up to go to Scotland and the stepmum he adored committed suicide. And that all before he was 19.
Tonight.. he and his girlfriend (10 months already, they are so proud) came to visit. And honestly.. if I would have been so together at 22 my life would have been a lot different.
He has grown up. Task finished and even though I think I did a crap job as far as jobs go, he turned out absolutely fabulous, he has managed to give all happenings meaning and sees already what he has learned from it and is grateful for me to give him the ability to see these lessons.
And he can love and can allow to be loved.. what more do you want for your child really?
He is getting his life together, is changing from being an angry reactive adolescent to a pro-active grownup who is telling his mum she should accept herself fully, that it is time and I find myself asking him.. my little boy, how he suggests doing that - world on its head.
He is starting a new college education in 2 weeks.. to do with life what he really wants, working with groups of young people and make them enthusiastic for whatever he feels they should do.
I am bursting with pride.. He is going to be OK, whatever happens. What a relief. I didn´t screw him up totally after all.
Thank God. And Kevin.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Decisions & Actions
Well.. after intentions come decisions and then actions.
So, since I have my intentions clear, being.. I want some more testosteron in my life but only for a fling or some 'Living Apart Together' arrangement I thought I would enroll myself in one of those hilarious dating sites. I mean.. what harm can it do right? Masses of people must be in the same situation and rather than waiting for someone to approach me on the street saying 'gosh I would like to LAT with you' I thought I would narrow it down to men who are actually looking for someone new in their life.
Man!! Talk about inspiration for a blog!
Anyway, one step at a time...
First.. my profile.. of course.. I put myself in there as 46 and overweight, rather under promise and over deliver I thought, in my profile I described myself as follows (all in Dutch of course which might not always translate properly, hope you use your imagination as to what I might have meant :-))
Well.. not too bad I thought, succinct and hopefully attracting the right people.
RIGHT!!!!
Want to have a look at 'the right people' who thought that I would fit their life beautifully?
What!!?? I mean.. come on!!
And I am sure, really absolutely sure that these are very nice men, honest!
I find it a bit depressing..one of them told me that their wife left them beause she was ill and all he could do to help her was cook and that wasn't enough and that now he can only get around by using a rollator or a scootmobile thing. Not even sure you have those in the UK, here everybody who even has a little bit of a problem with walking buy one of those, like a scooter (or a chair pretending to be a scooter) which goes really slow. Anyway..
After a few of those contacts luckily there were a few that were a bit more normal, higher educated and who sounded actually nice. Although K warned me that they probably only looked nice because of the comparison with the rollator guys.
I comfort myself with the idea that the real problem here is that these people do not have an accurate sense of self so can't even begin to realise that their self would most likely not fit mine!!
To be fair.. it is all good fun.. because my profile after 1 day!!! has been watched 600 times and I have had 60 'I am interested type of contacts'.
Amazing to see though that so many men look for something on the side.. of course when I wrote my profile I didn't realise that it would be fantastically attractive for that purpose.
I think my first question to ask will have to be, 'will you be able to celebrate Christmas with me', how is that for a bottom line question. Mind you, I wouldn't even want to but I am sure that it would make absolutely clear where I would sit in the bigger picture!
Well .. I just had to share, and I really apologise for anyone reading this and being offended by me putting their picture in my blog but since it is public domain information (www.lexa.nl) I thought as long as I didn't say who they were it would be ok!
I will definitely keep you informed of any further developments, for now I will keep on ploughing through their profiles as long as I can stand it, I find it amazing how many stupid and/or mediocre men exist. (No offence guys, the readers of this blog know I hold them in high regard)
So, since I have my intentions clear, being.. I want some more testosteron in my life but only for a fling or some 'Living Apart Together' arrangement I thought I would enroll myself in one of those hilarious dating sites. I mean.. what harm can it do right? Masses of people must be in the same situation and rather than waiting for someone to approach me on the street saying 'gosh I would like to LAT with you' I thought I would narrow it down to men who are actually looking for someone new in their life.
Man!! Talk about inspiration for a blog!
Anyway, one step at a time...
First.. my profile.. of course.. I put myself in there as 46 and overweight, rather under promise and over deliver I thought, in my profile I described myself as follows (all in Dutch of course which might not always translate properly, hope you use your imagination as to what I might have meant :-))
I am a cheerful, spontaneous, self aware rubens woman who after 3 long (however beautiful) relationships has decided to just want to live apart together. I look for someone who shares the same sentiment, who wants to keep his own place but does have a need for some romantic interaction. I am very interested in personal development and like to view my life as a project. I work for an IT company implementing new projects which gives balance to my spiritual side. I like cycling, cooking, going out to dinner (basically all things during which you can have good conversation)
RIGHT!!!!
Want to have a look at 'the right people' who thought that I would fit their life beautifully?
What!!?? I mean.. come on!!And I am sure, really absolutely sure that these are very nice men, honest!
I find it a bit depressing..one of them told me that their wife left them beause she was ill and all he could do to help her was cook and that wasn't enough and that now he can only get around by using a rollator or a scootmobile thing. Not even sure you have those in the UK, here everybody who even has a little bit of a problem with walking buy one of those, like a scooter (or a chair pretending to be a scooter) which goes really slow. Anyway..
After a few of those contacts luckily there were a few that were a bit more normal, higher educated and who sounded actually nice. Although K warned me that they probably only looked nice because of the comparison with the rollator guys.
I comfort myself with the idea that the real problem here is that these people do not have an accurate sense of self so can't even begin to realise that their self would most likely not fit mine!!
To be fair.. it is all good fun.. because my profile after 1 day!!! has been watched 600 times and I have had 60 'I am interested type of contacts'.
Amazing to see though that so many men look for something on the side.. of course when I wrote my profile I didn't realise that it would be fantastically attractive for that purpose.
I think my first question to ask will have to be, 'will you be able to celebrate Christmas with me', how is that for a bottom line question. Mind you, I wouldn't even want to but I am sure that it would make absolutely clear where I would sit in the bigger picture!
Well .. I just had to share, and I really apologise for anyone reading this and being offended by me putting their picture in my blog but since it is public domain information (www.lexa.nl) I thought as long as I didn't say who they were it would be ok!
I will definitely keep you informed of any further developments, for now I will keep on ploughing through their profiles as long as I can stand it, I find it amazing how many stupid and/or mediocre men exist. (No offence guys, the readers of this blog know I hold them in high regard)
Monday, August 20, 2007
Disappointment
Well...
I will live, I promise...
Life can be such a disappointment sometimes...
You know how I love to watch all those 'kick someone out each week' kind of programmes?
Well.. I knew from last year when I was here for the xFactor final that that format was very similar to the one I saw in the UK. I think the UK version was much better though because of the fighting of the famous judges, the Dutch ones didn't reach the same emotion I think. It wasn't as huge a success here as xFactor is in the UK.
Anyway!
Remember there was also one where Andrew Lloyd Webber chose a 'Maria' for the Sound of Music musical they wanted to produce? And this year they looked for Josef and his coat?
Well.. we have that too now but then looking for Evita, absolutely brilliant in itself but only now it becomes apparent how one gets cheated with those programmes.
It was all so exciting with the search for Maria which was the first one. You saw the audition episode and a very worried Andrew Lloyd Webber saying to everybody how worried he was that there wasn't enough talent to go around and how this whole idea would blow up in his face.
And of course.. silly me, the exact same thing, even the exact same setting was repeated when I was watching the Dutch version of this programme and the Dutch musical mogul was looking worried and was saying that it would be merely impossible to find someone out of those people auditioning.
I must admit... it takes the shine of the whole thing.
Is this the first step to being cured?
Hope not.
I will live, I promise...
Life can be such a disappointment sometimes...
You know how I love to watch all those 'kick someone out each week' kind of programmes?
Well.. I knew from last year when I was here for the xFactor final that that format was very similar to the one I saw in the UK. I think the UK version was much better though because of the fighting of the famous judges, the Dutch ones didn't reach the same emotion I think. It wasn't as huge a success here as xFactor is in the UK.
Anyway!
Remember there was also one where Andrew Lloyd Webber chose a 'Maria' for the Sound of Music musical they wanted to produce? And this year they looked for Josef and his coat?
Well.. we have that too now but then looking for Evita, absolutely brilliant in itself but only now it becomes apparent how one gets cheated with those programmes.
It was all so exciting with the search for Maria which was the first one. You saw the audition episode and a very worried Andrew Lloyd Webber saying to everybody how worried he was that there wasn't enough talent to go around and how this whole idea would blow up in his face.
And of course.. silly me, the exact same thing, even the exact same setting was repeated when I was watching the Dutch version of this programme and the Dutch musical mogul was looking worried and was saying that it would be merely impossible to find someone out of those people auditioning.
I must admit... it takes the shine of the whole thing.
Is this the first step to being cured?
Hope not.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Intentions
The following comment deserved a whole new entry I thought!!
This was one line from my diatribe from yesterday and the comments in black are from the most appreciated Edmond Dantes - the man who is responsible for the remark 'Tell her I miss her cleavage' instead of saying to a visiting friend 'tell her I said 'hi''
It says a lot about me of course that I find that by far the most hilarious remark so far this year.
Anyway, onto deeper places:
Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now
But do you actually have to take up a fixed mental position on this?
Is it not better to keep an open mind...just take things as they come and judge any prospective relationship on it's own merits?
Sure, you are enjoying your independence at the moment (and an independent spirit is to be encouraged!) But if you meet the 'right' guy (rather than the so called 'dream' guy!) then you might feel like you want to share your independence a bit.
I don't believe that living with someone means you must lose your freedoms of thought, expression....and the guilty pleasures such as Big Brother ;-) Not as long as it's the right relationship and you are both willing to keep working at it. Though obviously some level of compromise is required at times....but hey, you can sacrifice X Factor surely? ;-)
Anyway, it's all hypothetical right now....all being well, you'll be on this rock for some time yet....why rush to final judgment?
Nothing is ever final in my life.. I think I have proved that!
So, let me ask you one question, how long and with how many people have you lived together? Apart from your parents of course?
:-)
yeah....
And... then maybe I should be clear to any other readers (not that I think there are any though) that I am about 20 years older than the public that reads this blog :-)
I don't want to smash any dreams for your future of course but in my experience adapting (and not watching xFactor are you mad!!) is becoming harder and harder the older I get!
My first relationship was easy (19-30), I didn't ever even think about things I coudn't do, it just wasn't an issue.. (mind you that could very well have to do with the fact that I didn't know who I was or what I wanted ;-)) - The second was a bit harder (30-38) but that was also due to his challenging characteristics, the third one (40-46) was easy again BUT the best one of all where it comes to living and sharing together was that one with myself (38-40) :-)
I will always go for love.. at least.. that is what I have done so far... but I am a bit tired of building up again after every relationship, lucky for me I stayed in the same house after relationship break up number 2 but I have redecorated a house on my own 3 times now and had to build it up from scratch because I so wanted this living together thing to work.
So..what is there against having your own pad, having your own life but still share whatever you do/achieve in that life with somebody else who has the same feeling? I am sure there must be men around as well who are happy with their own life and habitat but do miss that romantic interaction every now and then?
I think it has something really romantic to see each other only when you really want to.
My dream is to meet someone in the flat here.. that would be really great.. watch xFactor together, hop into bed and then decide if you want to sleep over or rather go back to your own bed because you need to get up early in the morning. I could SO see that work :)
Is my judgment final?
Hmm.. not sure.. for now, yes.
I believe life is all about intentions.. I believe that if you are not clear in your mind and spirit about what you want, no force can deliver (be it Eric, God, Universe or whoever you think is responsible)
So.. that is why I sent this into the world.. hoping to attract nice, strong men who love xFactor and their own pad as much as I love mine!
This was one line from my diatribe from yesterday and the comments in black are from the most appreciated Edmond Dantes - the man who is responsible for the remark 'Tell her I miss her cleavage' instead of saying to a visiting friend 'tell her I said 'hi''
It says a lot about me of course that I find that by far the most hilarious remark so far this year.
Anyway, onto deeper places:
Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now
But do you actually have to take up a fixed mental position on this?
Is it not better to keep an open mind...just take things as they come and judge any prospective relationship on it's own merits?
Sure, you are enjoying your independence at the moment (and an independent spirit is to be encouraged!) But if you meet the 'right' guy (rather than the so called 'dream' guy!) then you might feel like you want to share your independence a bit.
I don't believe that living with someone means you must lose your freedoms of thought, expression....and the guilty pleasures such as Big Brother ;-) Not as long as it's the right relationship and you are both willing to keep working at it. Though obviously some level of compromise is required at times....but hey, you can sacrifice X Factor surely? ;-)
Anyway, it's all hypothetical right now....all being well, you'll be on this rock for some time yet....why rush to final judgment?
Nothing is ever final in my life.. I think I have proved that!
So, let me ask you one question, how long and with how many people have you lived together? Apart from your parents of course?
:-)
yeah....
And... then maybe I should be clear to any other readers (not that I think there are any though) that I am about 20 years older than the public that reads this blog :-)
I don't want to smash any dreams for your future of course but in my experience adapting (and not watching xFactor are you mad!!) is becoming harder and harder the older I get!
My first relationship was easy (19-30), I didn't ever even think about things I coudn't do, it just wasn't an issue.. (mind you that could very well have to do with the fact that I didn't know who I was or what I wanted ;-)) - The second was a bit harder (30-38) but that was also due to his challenging characteristics, the third one (40-46) was easy again BUT the best one of all where it comes to living and sharing together was that one with myself (38-40) :-)
I will always go for love.. at least.. that is what I have done so far... but I am a bit tired of building up again after every relationship, lucky for me I stayed in the same house after relationship break up number 2 but I have redecorated a house on my own 3 times now and had to build it up from scratch because I so wanted this living together thing to work.
So..what is there against having your own pad, having your own life but still share whatever you do/achieve in that life with somebody else who has the same feeling? I am sure there must be men around as well who are happy with their own life and habitat but do miss that romantic interaction every now and then?
I think it has something really romantic to see each other only when you really want to.
My dream is to meet someone in the flat here.. that would be really great.. watch xFactor together, hop into bed and then decide if you want to sleep over or rather go back to your own bed because you need to get up early in the morning. I could SO see that work :)
Is my judgment final?
Hmm.. not sure.. for now, yes.
I believe life is all about intentions.. I believe that if you are not clear in your mind and spirit about what you want, no force can deliver (be it Eric, God, Universe or whoever you think is responsible)
So.. that is why I sent this into the world.. hoping to attract nice, strong men who love xFactor and their own pad as much as I love mine!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Life after "happily ever after"
Of course...
Even though life here is absolutely fantastic and I believe I am walking the path I was meant to walk I have moments I struggle to take it all in.
Like what the f*ck happened to me?
Only 6 years ago I made a life changing decision to move to Scotland with the man of my dreams.. I felt so deeply for the man... (and still do, lets be very clear about that) I remember talking to him through email ... like 10.000 mails in 3 years ;-)) and thinking "this is it, if they throw us in a cave and we never see anyone else again it will be absolutely fine"
For me it was totally clear, I was embarking on a 'happily ever after' - I mean..... I had seen enough romcoms and read enough soppy books to just KNOW that that was where I was heading and life was good and clear.
And to be fair.. Scotland did feel like a cave a bit and that wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.
So what was it?
What changed the feeling of 'throw us in a cave and we will never be bored with each other again'?
I think in short, life happened.
I have seen many many romcoms after the feeling of the cave subsided and it started to dawn on me that those films always stop on the moment the conflict has been solved and the start of happily ever after. Sometimes maybe you would see flashes of pregnant bellies and fenced gardens in idyllic villages (bit like where I lived I suppose :-)) to show how nice happily ever after is.
But nobody shows the years down the road where life is repeating itself over and over and each partner starts concentrating on whatever works for them and not so much on each other. Since the relationship was formed in a 'living happily ever after' fashion instead of the (as I have done in the past) 'not so sure if this is forever' fashion I think we didn't give it the attention it deserved and got complacent.
So.. for years I thought that that was it.. no more men for me, just this one. Which was a very weird feeling and also one that is not highlighted a lot in those romantic comedies or soppy books. Do you know how strange it is to know you would never fall in love again, never have sex with anybody else again? Well.. that is how I entered the relationship anyway.
Now.. all the way in Holland, Scotland seems very far away and every day I feel more and more detached of my life there and the happily ever after that never was.
Which leaves me a bit ..empty..
Like.. not only did the happily ever after not work, I am now severely doubting if it even exists at all, even worse, if I still want it!
So.. a shattered dream and no hope to ever dream that one again because I just don't want to live in the same house with someone else again!!
Is that the price you pay for getting older? And more rigid? I want to do my own thing, I want to be anal about how my house looks, I want to keep it tidy and cosy and I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, I want to listen to music and not irritate anybody with it, I want to watch all those silly 'throw one person out a week' tv programs without feeling guilty of being perceived superficial.
I have had these discussions with others who then tell me that I could have a separate room in the same house and go there if I want to do these things for myself but I can just see how that would work, it would feel like I don't want to be with that person (which technically would be true) and then I would feel guilty about that again!
Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now.. Living Apart Together, heard of it?
I never realised this is a purely Dutch invention, because the acronym is English I assumed it was universal but no.. To prove it really exists: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latrelatie
And as I read now, even Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir did it...
So... any tips on how to find my Sartre?
Even though life here is absolutely fantastic and I believe I am walking the path I was meant to walk I have moments I struggle to take it all in.
Like what the f*ck happened to me?
Only 6 years ago I made a life changing decision to move to Scotland with the man of my dreams.. I felt so deeply for the man... (and still do, lets be very clear about that) I remember talking to him through email ... like 10.000 mails in 3 years ;-)) and thinking "this is it, if they throw us in a cave and we never see anyone else again it will be absolutely fine"
For me it was totally clear, I was embarking on a 'happily ever after' - I mean..... I had seen enough romcoms and read enough soppy books to just KNOW that that was where I was heading and life was good and clear.
And to be fair.. Scotland did feel like a cave a bit and that wasn't as easy as I thought it would be.
So what was it?
What changed the feeling of 'throw us in a cave and we will never be bored with each other again'?
I think in short, life happened.
I have seen many many romcoms after the feeling of the cave subsided and it started to dawn on me that those films always stop on the moment the conflict has been solved and the start of happily ever after. Sometimes maybe you would see flashes of pregnant bellies and fenced gardens in idyllic villages (bit like where I lived I suppose :-)) to show how nice happily ever after is.
But nobody shows the years down the road where life is repeating itself over and over and each partner starts concentrating on whatever works for them and not so much on each other. Since the relationship was formed in a 'living happily ever after' fashion instead of the (as I have done in the past) 'not so sure if this is forever' fashion I think we didn't give it the attention it deserved and got complacent.
So.. for years I thought that that was it.. no more men for me, just this one. Which was a very weird feeling and also one that is not highlighted a lot in those romantic comedies or soppy books. Do you know how strange it is to know you would never fall in love again, never have sex with anybody else again? Well.. that is how I entered the relationship anyway.
Now.. all the way in Holland, Scotland seems very far away and every day I feel more and more detached of my life there and the happily ever after that never was.
Which leaves me a bit ..empty..
Like.. not only did the happily ever after not work, I am now severely doubting if it even exists at all, even worse, if I still want it!
So.. a shattered dream and no hope to ever dream that one again because I just don't want to live in the same house with someone else again!!
Is that the price you pay for getting older? And more rigid? I want to do my own thing, I want to be anal about how my house looks, I want to keep it tidy and cosy and I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it, I want to listen to music and not irritate anybody with it, I want to watch all those silly 'throw one person out a week' tv programs without feeling guilty of being perceived superficial.
I have had these discussions with others who then tell me that I could have a separate room in the same house and go there if I want to do these things for myself but I can just see how that would work, it would feel like I don't want to be with that person (which technically would be true) and then I would feel guilty about that again!
Nope.. for me LAT is the only way to go from now.. Living Apart Together, heard of it?
I never realised this is a purely Dutch invention, because the acronym is English I assumed it was universal but no.. To prove it really exists: http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latrelatie
And as I read now, even Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir did it...
So... any tips on how to find my Sartre?
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Dance Parade
Phew... this new life of mine is very knackering I must admit... Yesterday my niece and her boyfriend came to visit, of course made her my favorite dish (tortilla wraps with peppers/corn filling) then my brother joined us and we went to the local Irish pub and drank a few alcoholic drinks and went to bed way too late for a 46 year old!
And I didn't even drink that much either but I did feel a bit out of it this morning, so did my brother, it was very interesting to see that the 26 year old boyfriend was as bright as a button like nothing ever happened and he didn't drink like there was no tomorrow.
Thought to make a positive decision and go for a bike ride since the weather here is absolutely gorgeous, it is really strange to be back in a country where it is not hammering down days on end.
So.. Rotterdam would be the place to be.. always something to do there.. and was there today!! I ended up in the middle of the dance parade. Basically this means a long long trail of very very big trucks with LOUD (and when I say loud I mean in fear of damaging your ears!) music and dancing people with very little clothes on.
Cycling past it all I suddenly got all emotional again. I have this so often lately when I am in the middle of a lot of people. I so wonder what this is.. do I tune into some mass hysteria, is it selfpity of being lonely in between so many people (hehe don't think so :-)) or am I just so happy to be back !!!
When going through all those possibilities in my head I got even more emotional with the last option and almost burst into tears when at the end of the trail of trucks there were 3 Roteb trucks. (Roteb is the company makes sure streets are swept, garbage collected and rubbish picked up)
Somehow that epitomizes for me the Dutch attitude to life. We
make fun, we make a mess but it always gets cleaned up :)
And I didn't even drink that much either but I did feel a bit out of it this morning, so did my brother, it was very interesting to see that the 26 year old boyfriend was as bright as a button like nothing ever happened and he didn't drink like there was no tomorrow.
Thought to make a positive decision and go for a bike ride since the weather here is absolutely gorgeous, it is really strange to be back in a country where it is not hammering down days on end.
So.. Rotterdam would be the place to be.. always something to do there.. and was there today!! I ended up in the middle of the dance parade. Basically this means a long long trail of very very big trucks with LOUD (and when I say loud I mean in fear of damaging your ears!) music and dancing people with very little clothes on.
Cycling past it all I suddenly got all emotional again. I have this so often lately when I am in the middle of a lot of people. I so wonder what this is.. do I tune into some mass hysteria, is it selfpity of being lonely in between so many people (hehe don't think so :-)) or am I just so happy to be back !!!
When going through all those possibilities in my head I got even more emotional with the last option and almost burst into tears when at the end of the trail of trucks there were 3 Roteb trucks. (Roteb is the company makes sure streets are swept, garbage collected and rubbish picked up)
Somehow that epitomizes for me the Dutch attitude to life. We
make fun, we make a mess but it always gets cleaned up :)
Friday, August 10, 2007
And after
Well...coffee *and* cleavage I went for in the end which worked like a charm because it is now 11:40 and all is back to normal, I am chuffed! I do think that my blue duvetcover now clashes with the floor ..so next stop IKEA :-)
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Before
It is really amazing how much furniture fits in one room!
Karin and I applied some girrrrrl power to get it all in... now I have to live like this until tomorrow:
Because tomorrow the big guys with the big carpets come, blue for the bedroom, of course and green for the jungle :-)
So.. how can I bribe those carpet guys to give me a hand in getting some of the big pieces back, coffee? Applepie? Or just plenty of cleavage?
Difficult one...
:-)
... to be continued....
Karin and I applied some girrrrrl power to get it all in... now I have to live like this until tomorrow:
Because tomorrow the big guys with the big carpets come, blue for the bedroom, of course and green for the jungle :-)
So.. how can I bribe those carpet guys to give me a hand in getting some of the big pieces back, coffee? Applepie? Or just plenty of cleavage?
Difficult one...
:-)
... to be continued....
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
Me, Thr Organiser
Today was one of those "one thing leads to another" days.. you know those?
Where you start to clean out a wardrobe and suddenly think, ooh that is dirty, lets give it a clean, then find out there are actually things attached that will allow the resurrection of some extra hanging space which I needed a lot. All I needed to do was take 2 shelves out and then find that everything in the wardrobe needs to be moved around and I tell you it was about time.. the thing drove me nuts!
I am not sure if any of you own one of those fancy new wardrobes with 3 sliding doors?
Well if you don't I have to tell you beware!! Because Murphy's law teaches us that the wrong door is always open. Say.. you have your underwear behind one door and t-shirts behind another and slacks again behind another. And say you are not in a very organised mood and a bit distracted it goes like this:
Get undie out (right door open) , put undie on and think what next oh yeah, bra (left door open which of course closes right door), bra on. Then what? Oh yeah.. slacks.. hmm.. middle door (closes left and right door of course), slacks on, then t-shirt, left door (closes middle and right door) put shirt on and think 'man who thought of this organisation, surely I must be getting there but no.. forgot my socks which were with the undies in the right door, at the time I thought that was a good idea, so right door open which closes the cupboards with all my shoes. AARgghh... are you getting the idea?
So.. you can imagine I almost did a victory dance when I discovered my extra hanging facility situation at that time. So.. took 2 shelves out, organised a bit better with all the current clothes in the left cupboard and all 'hardly wear them', 'bit too small at this moment in time' and 'much too hot for now' clothes are in the middle bit which leaves the right bit for what other things a woman could want like erhm... loads of make up and Tarzan.. thinks... what are the chances of either my niece or nephew suddenly walking into the room with it asking 'what is this auntie Tanja'? They love all those sliding doors since they are perfect hiding places....
Hmm.... needs some more thought that one!
For now, proof of hard work!
Where you start to clean out a wardrobe and suddenly think, ooh that is dirty, lets give it a clean, then find out there are actually things attached that will allow the resurrection of some extra hanging space which I needed a lot. All I needed to do was take 2 shelves out and then find that everything in the wardrobe needs to be moved around and I tell you it was about time.. the thing drove me nuts!
I am not sure if any of you own one of those fancy new wardrobes with 3 sliding doors?
Well if you don't I have to tell you beware!! Because Murphy's law teaches us that the wrong door is always open. Say.. you have your underwear behind one door and t-shirts behind another and slacks again behind another. And say you are not in a very organised mood and a bit distracted it goes like this:
Get undie out (right door open) , put undie on and think what next oh yeah, bra (left door open which of course closes right door), bra on. Then what? Oh yeah.. slacks.. hmm.. middle door (closes left and right door of course), slacks on, then t-shirt, left door (closes middle and right door) put shirt on and think 'man who thought of this organisation, surely I must be getting there but no.. forgot my socks which were with the undies in the right door, at the time I thought that was a good idea, so right door open which closes the cupboards with all my shoes. AARgghh... are you getting the idea?
So.. you can imagine I almost did a victory dance when I discovered my extra hanging facility situation at that time. So.. took 2 shelves out, organised a bit better with all the current clothes in the left cupboard and all 'hardly wear them', 'bit too small at this moment in time' and 'much too hot for now' clothes are in the middle bit which leaves the right bit for what other things a woman could want like erhm... loads of make up and Tarzan.. thinks... what are the chances of either my niece or nephew suddenly walking into the room with it asking 'what is this auntie Tanja'? They love all those sliding doors since they are perfect hiding places....
Hmm.... needs some more thought that one!
For now, proof of hard work!
Friday, August 03, 2007
Rock4 - aCapelle
Uninvited
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Things come in threes!
So I bl**dy well hope that now I have reached the three!!
Would you believe that my dear dear BAC laptop died this morning? Broken hard drive?
Luckily it started to act weird last night and I managed to backup most of my important files. Well.. that is what I think at this moment of course, there might still be moments that I kick myself because I forgot one that I can't get to anymore.
Irritating is that I had the same thing last year and still I didn't learn that backupping is a good thing.. there are so many things one takes for granted doesn't one? Like.. mail messages.. generally they are so unimportant, just episodic rubbish about what I or other people in my life did.
And suddenly I got all cold because I remembered that all my flight details are in there and passwords and registration confirmations , email addresses of people I promised things too, basically, a big chunk of my life.
So, Eric, Universe, God, who or whatever, THANK YOU once more for letting me back in long enough to retrieve those messages and some other good stuff before you killed it off.
Thinks.... you think anybody on the Godlike plane reads blogs? Hmm.....
Would you believe that my dear dear BAC laptop died this morning? Broken hard drive?
Luckily it started to act weird last night and I managed to backup most of my important files. Well.. that is what I think at this moment of course, there might still be moments that I kick myself because I forgot one that I can't get to anymore.
Irritating is that I had the same thing last year and still I didn't learn that backupping is a good thing.. there are so many things one takes for granted doesn't one? Like.. mail messages.. generally they are so unimportant, just episodic rubbish about what I or other people in my life did.
And suddenly I got all cold because I remembered that all my flight details are in there and passwords and registration confirmations , email addresses of people I promised things too, basically, a big chunk of my life.
So, Eric, Universe, God, who or whatever, THANK YOU once more for letting me back in long enough to retrieve those messages and some other good stuff before you killed it off.
Thinks.... you think anybody on the Godlike plane reads blogs? Hmm.....
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